Is Suspicion a 'negative' trait?

[michel]

I have just returned from taking my dog for a walk; while I was in the park, I saw a couple of 'youngish?' teenagers (boys) smoking, sitting on a low branch of a big tree. Jessie (myd dog) is a people lover - her 'hello' to humans is to run up to them, lie on her back and ask for her tummy to be rubbed. I wasn't sure about the two guys, and Jessie started going to them; I even said to her 'go and say hello'. Half way there, she turned away from them, and came straight back to me.

Ever sinse I was in that park a year or so ago, and was attacked by a couple of young boys (Nothing too bad, they tried to steal my mini-disc player and headphones) who could see I was disabled, I am much more 'aware' than I used to be.

Today, I left the place where the two guys were, and went on back (with the odd glance behind me). They didn't follow me. Coming out of the park, I saw a young woman taking her dog for a walk; we said 'hi', but when I saw her taking my path I called after her. She ignored me twice - I am sure she could hear me, but she turned round the third time, and I warned her about the guys in the woods - she thanked me and went on.

The base line is, I was suspicious of the two guys - is that wrong ?
she was (I think) suspicious of my motives in calling her back - I don't blame her in the least.
For all I know, the two guys might have been angelic young men.
I think I was right to think what I did, I think the girl was right to be wary of me. But isn't it a shame ? so much negativety and distrust. What do you think ? How would you have dealt with the situation had you been in my shoes - on crutches?

 

[Jaymes]

Suspicion protects people from harm. The only times I can see it being negative is when suspicion is undue.

 

[michel]

Suspicion protects people from harm. The only times I can see it being negative is when suspicion is undue.

That's what I mean, was it undue today?

 

[Fluffy]

I would have been just as suspicious as you michel but I find that feeling that way, for me at least, is very upsetting because I always want to see the best in people.

The only problem with this is being wary immediatly makes you seem more like a target. It is fine to be suspicious as long as you can override any outwards signs of such feelings so as to appear confident. This is the best way to lay such fears at rest I have found.

 

[Druidus]

Suspicion is important. Paranoia is not. In this situation, I think you were justified in your suspicion.

 

[Tawn]

Yes I think the general feeling is that suspicion is ok.. especially since you have experience such an incident in the past.. you could have been very wrong.. although the dogs reaction is very telling.. (i think animals are more in touch with their instinctual side - being less sentient than we are - and therefore they tend to react to their gut instincts more often.. probably a good trait)..
Ah well, like druidus said, so long as suspicion doesnt become paranoia it perfectly ok. Paranoia is when your suspicions prevent you living your life fully and properly.. and yes, theres always an inherant risk to life.. whatever you do youre never truly safe.. but whats the point in being safe if you have no life???

 

[Crystallas]

Suspicion isnt bad. Its the enviroment that makes you this way that is arguably wrong.

 

[Fluffy]

Having thought a bit more on this, I think it IS a negative trait but it is a necessary evil. What I mean to say is that in a perfect world it would be totally unneeded because you would not have to worry about the possibility of getting mugged and the like. However, because of the dangers which our world brings with it, it is fully justifiable even though it is negative to the extent that it would probably do more harm without it.

 

[painted wolf]

it is a survival trait. You are suspicious of situations that put you at risk. Those situations are different from the ones that would put me at risk.
Lacking awareness of risk leads to harm.
How you deal with that makes it good or bad. There is a fine line between healthy suspicion and paranoia and bigotry.
If your dog kept clear of them then you had every reason to keep clear of them too.

wa:do

 

[NothingIsNot]

If you aren't afraid of getting harmed, the best thing according to me is to be nice and friendly with everyone, and if they try to harm you or are dishonest, do the same in return. Sounds aweful huh?

 

[robtex]

Michel suspicion is a survival mechanism. Its a tool you should have and use. The tool itself is neutral. How you use it can be good or bad. You didn't antagonize the men and today there is no way you can know their intent but nothing negative came out of it. Usually if one is suspicious they have picked-up cues via their senses of sight and sound that sparked the thought that something many be unsafe. From reading body language to comments overheard one has enough to make a prejudical decision that could be correct or incorrect.

I have met people two who seem to have a mental shield up all the time too and that is an unhealthy way to live life. For whatever reason they treat everyone with suspicion. I would say they are making inprofiecent use of the the tool that they have.

If you live in a bad area cause of your physical condition you may want to invest in pepper spray.

 

[michel]

If you aren't afraid of getting harmed, the best thing according to me is to be nice and friendly with everyone, and if they try to harm you or are dishonest, do the same in return. Sounds aweful huh?

Well, I don't know about awful (I know 'awful' relates to being full of 'awe' - which is why I have previously spelt it with an 'e' - apparently in error) - but it would'nt suit me.

Strange that both Tawn and Paintedwolf focussed on what I did - my dog's reaction to the guys - that was the clincher for me.

 

[Quoth The Raven]

I used to leave for work very early in the morning and had to catch the first train - at about 5am. It was always dark, and being aware that a woman on her own walking aroung at 4:30am is a target, I would walk in the centre of the road, my rationale being that there were no cars around on the streets I walked at that time of the morning, but I could see anyone coming, so there would be no nasty surprises. It wasn't a theory I ever had to test, thankfully.
I guess my point is, better safe than sorry. Dogs that are by nature friendly, who decide they don't want to talk to someone is an indication that perhaps that person isn't quite kosher. Anything outside of her normal behaviour is telling you that things aren't normal.

 

[t3gah]

I have just returned from taking my dog for a walk; while I was in the park, I saw a couple of 'youngish?' teenagers (boys) smoking, sitting on a low branch of a big tree. Jessie (myd dog) is a people lover - her 'hello' to humans is to run up to them, lie on her back and ask for her tummy to be rubbed. I wasn't sure about the two guys, and Jessie started going to them; I even said to her 'go and say hello'. Half way there, she turned away from them, and came straight back to me.

Ever sinse I was in that park a year or so ago, and was attacked by a couple of young boys (Nothing too bad, they tried to steal my mini-disc player and headphones) who could see I was disabled, I am much more 'aware' than I used to be.

Today, I left the place where the two guys were, and went on back (with the odd glance behind me). They didn't follow me. Coming out of the park, I saw a young woman taking her dog for a walk; we said 'hi', but when I saw her taking my path I called after her. She ignored me twice - I am sure she could hear me, but she turned round the third time, and I warned her about the guys in the woods - she thanked me and went on.

The base line is, I was suspicious of the two guys - is that wrong ?
she was (I think) suspicious of my motives in calling her back - I don't blame her in the least.
For all I know, the two guys might have been angelic young men.
I think I was right to think what I did, I think the girl was right to be wary of me. But isn't it a shame ? so much negativety and distrust. What do you think ? How would you have dealt with the situation had you been in my shoes - on crutches?

The answer to the thread question is "yes".

The reverse is "Support" and "positive".

 

[michel]

I used to leave for work very early in the morning and had to catch the first train - at about 5am. It was always dark, and being aware that a woman on her own walking aroung at 4:30am is a target, I would walk in the centre of the road, my rationale being that there were no cars around on the streets I walked at that time of the morning, but I could see anyone coming, so there would be no nasty surprises. It wasn't a theory I ever had to test, thankfully.
I guess my point is, better safe than sorry. Dogs that are by nature friendly, who decide they don't want to talk to someone is an indication that perhaps that person isn't quite kosher. Anything outside of her normal behaviour is telling you that things aren't normal.

You have just reminded me of a time when my Wife had a part time Job in town; to get to work, she would have to go through a park (open land), & then up some steps in a secluded area - she never felt comfortable about it. One day she though she saw a guy 'stalking', and she ran up the steps and into work - she told a few of her colleagues about the incident, but two days later, a woman was assaulted on those very stops, early in the morning, on the way to work!