ScottySatan
Well-Known Member
My superpower is non-purposely scaring the **** out of women when I walk into a room. They get startled. They jump, gasp, clutch their heart, and take the lord’s name in vain. I’ve done it once or twice a week since I was about 16: adult sized.
I’m not trying to do it, I don’t want to do it. At 16, I was looking to give off an impression of sexiness, not murderousness. For a while if I saw a woman alone in the room that I was about to enter, I’d backtrack about 10 steps and try making some noise. Heavy footsteps? Makes it worse. Jingling house keys? Makes it look like I’m watching them and playing with myself. Clearing the throat? Startles them just as much.
I do not dress in black. I do not dress…too strangely. Physically, I’m a bit taller and broader than average, not by much. I have resting ***** face and kind of angry eyes that actually started fights for me in high school. People thought I was giving them the evil eye. Maybe my looks have something to do with it, there are ideas out there about how the physical appearance and the personality are related, but it can’t be the whole story:
When I take my 4 year old to the park, moms look at me like I’m a potential child kidnapper, when I’m wearing sunglasses. Last night I sang Beyonce’s “bootylicious” and danced and my wife couldn’t stand it. “No! it’s so god damned creepy! Stop it!” She said it sounded very “malicious”. I reckon it takes a little something special to make “My body’s too bootylicious, for ya babe!” be malicious. Maybe I have an evil aura, but dogs, toddlers, and old ladies love me. So either I don’t really, or the movies have it all wrong.
Anyway, I discovered that I’m scary at 16, and discovered I was a Satanist ten years later. Coincidence? If so, did one cause the other?
I’m not trying to do it, I don’t want to do it. At 16, I was looking to give off an impression of sexiness, not murderousness. For a while if I saw a woman alone in the room that I was about to enter, I’d backtrack about 10 steps and try making some noise. Heavy footsteps? Makes it worse. Jingling house keys? Makes it look like I’m watching them and playing with myself. Clearing the throat? Startles them just as much.
I do not dress in black. I do not dress…too strangely. Physically, I’m a bit taller and broader than average, not by much. I have resting ***** face and kind of angry eyes that actually started fights for me in high school. People thought I was giving them the evil eye. Maybe my looks have something to do with it, there are ideas out there about how the physical appearance and the personality are related, but it can’t be the whole story:
When I take my 4 year old to the park, moms look at me like I’m a potential child kidnapper, when I’m wearing sunglasses. Last night I sang Beyonce’s “bootylicious” and danced and my wife couldn’t stand it. “No! it’s so god damned creepy! Stop it!” She said it sounded very “malicious”. I reckon it takes a little something special to make “My body’s too bootylicious, for ya babe!” be malicious. Maybe I have an evil aura, but dogs, toddlers, and old ladies love me. So either I don’t really, or the movies have it all wrong.
Anyway, I discovered that I’m scary at 16, and discovered I was a Satanist ten years later. Coincidence? If so, did one cause the other?
Lol!