HUMOR with MEANING

[Ingledsva]

Once there was a happy little fly buzzing around a barn, when she happened upon a large pile of fresh cow manure.

Since it had been hours since her last meal and she was feeling hunger pangs, she flew down to the irresistible delicacy and began to munch out.

She ate. And ate. And then. She ate some more!!!!!

Finally, she decided she'd had plenty.

She washed her face with her tiny front legs, belched a few times, and then attempted to fly away.

But alas, she had pigged out far too much and could not get off the ground.



She looked around, wondering what to do about this unpleasant situation, when she spotted a pitchfork leaning upright against the barn wall.

She'd found a solution!!

She realized if she could just become airborne, she'd be able to fly again.



So, she painstakingly climbed to the top of the handle.

Once there, she took a deep breath, spread her tiny fly wings, and leaped confidently into the air.

She dropped like a rock and splattered all over the floor...

a dead little fly.

So, what is the moral of this sad story?

"Never fly off the handle when you know you're full of sh*t."

*

 

[Ingledsva]

Once upon a time, in a land far away, a beautiful, independent, self-assured princess happened upon a frog as she sat contemplating ecological issues on the shores of an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle.

The frog hopped into the Princess' lap and said: "Elegant Lady, I was once a handsome Prince, until an evil Witch cast a spell upon me. One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper, young Prince that I am and then, my sweet, we can marry and setup housekeeping in yon castle with my Mother, where you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever feel grateful and happy doing so."

That night, on a repast of lightly sautéed frogs legs seasoned in a white wine and onion cream sauce, she chuckled to herself and thought: "I don't F***ing think so."


*

 

[Thief]

I will just refer you to Lewis Black

 

[Ingledsva]

I will just refer you to Lewis Black

Yep I like a lot of his stuff. I also like Stephen Colbert.

*

 

[VioletVortex]

You made me feel guilty about spraying Lysol on flies...

 

[Thief]

I shall attempt an original joke.....bear with me

Young Frankenstein had just finished the set up and threw the switch
the sparks flew and his creation jumped

moments latter it giggled

and Frankenstein proclaimed ...It's alive!.....It's ALIVE!

the giggles turned to laughter....the laughter roared
the roar turned convulsive
and the creature died

Frankenstein was stunned.....What happened? he cried

his assistant stepped closer and said.....you forgot this...

Oh!.....well no wonder he failed

not a serious bone in his body!



hehehehehehe