Help, GF Assaulted but doesn't want to do anything about it.

[Cacotopia]

My advice is to apologize for threatening to abandon her. Ultimatums are a power play. You essentially threatened to deprive her of emotional security if she did not bend to your will. The intent behind this action is to create an anxiety within her that forces her to act according to your will.

If you would truly contemplate terminating your relationship because she did not seek help then perhaps you should just terminate the relationship and not attempt emotional manipulation of a victim of sexual assault. If doing so is the only way to preserve your sanity, then that is justification enough.

If however you are willing to suffer the emotional turmoil of seeing a loved one suffer in order to provide a respite then continue to engage her and offer advice on how to ameliorate the situation.

It is hard to know whether or not she going to the authorities would help notwithstanding her belief to the contrary. If she chooses not to contact the authorities, perhaps she at least has trusted friends she can ask to accompany her or with whom she can stay, until she can move to a different residence.

she knows it's a hollow threat. I just couldn't see any rational method to get her to take her head out of the sand. it's apologized for though.

If I didn't care I wouldn't be going to the lengths I am going right now to see that she gets help.

 

[Jumi]

Kenya is a messed up place, where women are for the most part blamed for being raped and ostracized or abandoned if they are assaulted. What kind of savages behave like that.

It's the same in many conservative places, why do women keep quiet and why is it recently changing in some "western" countries? Going to police in some places is a mistake, especially if you're a woman.

I wish you could move together some place.

 

[suncowiam]

I am in a long distance relationship with a woman, she was just attacked by her landlord. He tried to rape her, she managed to get away. She is staying at a friend's place, she has talked to just me and the friend she is living with.

But she refuses to take action about this POS bag of expletives that literally lives next door to her. She won't tell her family, I even threatened to break up with her unless she tells someone anyone, the police. I don't care. The landlords wife? I mean jibber effing crabst what the hell can I do if I am stuck 6000 miles away. She has a kid whom she has gone great lengths to defend from harm but she won't lift barely a finger in defense of herself. I DON"T UNDERSTAND.

If I were there I would probably have pout the guy in a wheelchair or a breathing tube for the rest of his natural life. But she won't do anything, I'm at a complete loss here. i have talked to her for hours trying to convince her to tell her family, maybe they can help. She says the landlord also works for the local government and that her friends also say nothing will happen if she tells anyone so what is the point.

I mean this **** has to end! and all these dirt bags need to die in my opinion, PUBLICLY. I don't know what to do. She just let's people run over her but is a rock against the fury of the storm for her child. Mirror opposites in behavior I don't want to do. So I am asking for your advice, the only solutions I can think of end in bloodshed, I am too close to this to think rationally.

Help Please.

EDIT I wasn't going to break up with her and yes I know it was stupid and callous. I just didn't know how else to get her to think she needs to take some kind of action to her predicament. I don't do that sort of psychological warfare in the first place, well I guess that's a a lie cause I did this morning. But I wouldn't ever do it under normal circumstances. i really feel bad about that.

I was desperate and I knew it was wrong. I just I dunno, did out of desperation.

As a landlord I deal with criminal claims against other tenants.

I can never arbitrate these claims because it becomes the word of one party versus the word of another party. I tell my tenants that the best I can do is call the police and everyone will have to go on record. Sometimes, I'm forced to call the police regardless because of how extreme the claims are. The legal system is best to arbitrate these occurrences. It's always best to report these occurrences as soon as they are reported.

You might lose your GF's trust and thus your relationship but if you ever feel that your anyone is in danger then you can go to the police and report it yourself even anonymously.

[Edited]
I didn't read the part that it was in Kenya until later. Then I really don't know how to deal with that. I was assuming a western society with an established legal system. Sorry for your situation.