Spiderman
Veteran Member
There was a time I had hope that with time and the right effort and grace would come sound, stable, healthy, mature mind.
But eventually I've realized that is like a lizard expecting to become a homosapien some day or Helen Keller thinking she would become a marathon runner.
It isn't good to have impossible expectations that are clearly not any plan Divine Providence has, and is an attempt at rebellion against being the vessel the potter molded it into.
God wanted me and a lot of people to be weird and mental illness is simply not going anywhere. Neither is drama, mistakes, or the three ring circus sideshow that covers the globe.
I'm discovering a lot of terrible mistakes I made, maybe not all, but enough, lead to some very important changes that accomplished the greatest good in my life, like where I geographically live being one example, that saved my *** from living a far worse existence back home in Montana, and missing out on some extremely important graces and lessons here.
Being able to know what to do with sanity and not make the mistakes would be great, but it is clear God is using mental health problems and crises , addictions, the mistakes, and has them shepherding me to destiny, provided I combine it with faith and prayers, the results and grace is in more abundance.
So, I guess I go with the circus, and go where sickness and woundedness and mental illness takes me.
God is the Shepherd, ghosts are Shepherds, illness, the cross, and thorns in the flesh are Shepherds, all there for a reason leading to destiny...
Do you ever feel that way?
But eventually I've realized that is like a lizard expecting to become a homosapien some day or Helen Keller thinking she would become a marathon runner.
It isn't good to have impossible expectations that are clearly not any plan Divine Providence has, and is an attempt at rebellion against being the vessel the potter molded it into.
God wanted me and a lot of people to be weird and mental illness is simply not going anywhere. Neither is drama, mistakes, or the three ring circus sideshow that covers the globe.
I'm discovering a lot of terrible mistakes I made, maybe not all, but enough, lead to some very important changes that accomplished the greatest good in my life, like where I geographically live being one example, that saved my *** from living a far worse existence back home in Montana, and missing out on some extremely important graces and lessons here.
Being able to know what to do with sanity and not make the mistakes would be great, but it is clear God is using mental health problems and crises , addictions, the mistakes, and has them shepherding me to destiny, provided I combine it with faith and prayers, the results and grace is in more abundance.
So, I guess I go with the circus, and go where sickness and woundedness and mental illness takes me.
God is the Shepherd, ghosts are Shepherds, illness, the cross, and thorns in the flesh are Shepherds, all there for a reason leading to destiny...
Do you ever feel that way?