Funniest misspelled word/incorrect phrase/pet peeve about english language

[Smoke]

I really hate plurals made by adding 's: Kitten's for sale.

I hate it when people say fortuitous when they mean fortunate.

I dislike it when people insist on the use of artificial, Latinate rules of grammar in English -- that is, prescriptive grammar. Having gone to American schools, I may say My family is going, but the British My family are going makes as much sense and is easier on the ears. I split infinitives, end sentences with prepositions, and use double negatives whenever I feel like it.

My favorite examples of unusual English are these:

1) My nephew: My favorite flavor is red!

2) My mother's cousin often spelled things as they sounded to her; my favorite was "haft to," as in "Will close now as I haft to go to work."

3) My great-grandmother was born in the U.S. but grew up speaking German and often mixed German in with her English: I went bei William mit Dorothy.

I also enjoy noticing different, mostly regional ways of saying the same thing:

Push the button.
Press the button.
Mash the button.
Hit the button.

Turn off the light.
Put out the light.
Shut the light.
Close the light.

 

[Smoke]

Oh, I forgot another of my favorites.

In Greek, monk is monokhos, and nun is monakhi. So it was only natural when a certain Greek lady saw a group of nuns and exclaimed: Look at all the monkeys!

 

[Nepenthe]

I thought of another one: when people spell "gas" as petrol. What the hell people!?! It's three letters- how can you misspell something like that!

 

[Panda]

I thought of another one: when people spell "gas" as petrol. What the hell people!?! It's three letters- how can you misspell something like that!

Because petrol is it's name. Gas is a type of matter, idiot

 

[Panda]

Having gone to American schools, I may say My family is going, but the British My family are going makes as much sense and is easier on the ears.

I would use My family is going while speaking (though sounds like My family's going) but when writing I would use My family are going.

 

[Wookiemonster]

I dislike it when people insist on the use of artificial, Latinate rules of grammar in English -- that is, prescriptive grammar. Having gone to American schools, I may say My family is going, but the British My family are going makes as much sense and is easier on the ears.

I would use My family is going while speaking (though sounds like My family's going) but when writing I would use My family are going.

How is it gramitacillay correct to use "are" with a singular word such as family rather than the singular "is".

Just curious, my grammer is horrible.

 

[Smoke]

How is it gramitacillay correct to use "are" with a singular word such as family rather than the singular "is".

Just curious, my grammer is horrible.

There's no particular reason why English grammar should conform to the rules of mathematics. The idea that a singular noun (family) must take a singular verb (is), makes sense on the surface, but you know perfectly well that you're talking about more than one person.

Likewise, the double negative. If we look at I don't have none mathematically, we could say that two negatives make a positive, but grammar is not math, and everybody knows that I don't have none and I don't have any mean exactly the same thing. The double and even the triple negative have a long history in English, and if they're good enough for Chaucer, they're good enough for me.

The best thing ever said about grammar was said by Martin Luther: "One should not imitate those asses who ask the Latin language how German should be spoken; but should ask the mother in her home, the children in the gutters, the common man at the fair, and watch their big mouths as they speak, and do accordingly."

 

[Nepenthe]

Because petrol is it's name. Gas is a type of matter, idiot

Curse you Panda!
As much as I hate to get all serious and say it, both uses are correct.

Gas' is short for gasoline- gasoline being a liquid mix of hydrocarbons derived from petroleum. And petrol' is just the abbreviation of petroleum.

 

[Panda]

Curse you Panda!
As much as I hate to get all serious and say it, both uses are correct.

Gas' is short for gasoline- gasoline being a liquid mix of hydrocarbons derived from petroleum. And petrol' is just the abbreviation of petroleum.

Do you still call diesel diesel?

 

[Nepenthe]

Do you still call diesel diesel?

Yep.
:yes:

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Likewise, the double negative. If we look at I don't have none mathematically, we could say that two negatives make a positive, but grammar is not math, and everybody knows that I don't have none and I don't have any mean exactly the same thing. The double and even the triple negative have a long history in English, and if they're good enough for Chaucer, they're good enough for me.

Reminds me of a joke:

A linguistics professor is giving a lecture. He says, "there are many languages where a double negative indicates a negative, but none where a double positive indicates a negative."

From the back of the hall one of the students shouts, "yeah, right!"

 

[Fortunato]

I also enjoy noticing different, mostly regional ways of saying the same thing

This reminds me, I find some things about British English rather funny. Some of my favorites:

Mind the gap.
Whilst.....(I've never heard an American use that word)
Lorry

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

This reminds me, I find some things about British English rather funny. Some of my favorites:

Mind the gap.
Whilst.....(I've never heard an American use that word)
Lorry

"Mind the gap" isn't exclusively British. All the Toronto subway stations have signs like this:

 

[Fortunato]

"Mind the gap" isn't exclusively British. All the Toronto subway stations have signs like this:

Wow, it's been a while since I've ridden on the Toronto subway. I still find that phrase funny though.

 

[McBell]

I'm from Utah and have never noticed any of those. But the one I do notice is how many Utahns pronounce "creek" as "crick."

Huh?
I thought every one knew that a crick is smaller than a creek....

 

[.lava]

I find signs that say "Support Breast Cancer" to be odd.

lol that's funny




.

 

[Kathryn]

Ok since we're on the topic of British English, here are some of my favorites:

Spotted dick for supper
Toad in a hole for lunch

My daughter told me once when she was about 14 that she wished she lived in England so that she could eat cookies called bisquits and wear trousers instead of pants.

Now - to poke fun at myself, I live in Texas.

"I'm fixin ter go to the store." Actually, this should probably be spelled, "...FIDNNA...go to the store."
"Turn rat at the lat."
"Git over hyar rat this minute."

 

[Wookiemonster]

There's no particular reason why English grammar should conform to the rules of mathematics. The idea that a singular noun (family) must take a singular verb (is), makes sense on the surface, but you know perfectly well that you're talking about more than one person.

While I see what you're saying here. I still feel that "are" in this case sounds/is wrong. Simply becuase family in this case (while comprised of many menbers) is still singular. But that's just me...

 

[Panda]

Time to make fun of Scotland

tude - an idiot
tool - general insult
yer maw - the most offensive thing you can ever say to anyone

 

[Madhuri]

Time to make fun of Scotland

tude - an idiot
tool - general insult
yer maw - the most offensive thing you can ever say to anyone

What does 'yer maw' mean? If too offensive for boards, feel free to pm me.