Doing well and trying to relate...

[Fireside_Hindu]

Hello everyone,

I've recently begun encountering an interesting social dynamic that is making it difficult for me to relate to some of my peers and I wanted to hear peoples' thoughts on it.

I'll try to be as brief as possible:

I'm 27 and I work from home as a Children's Book Illustrator. My husband is 30 and works outside the home. Being an Illustrator, needless to say, doesn't bring in nearly enough income to rely on, but in our case it's okay because my husband makes enough to support us. To say that we are living comfortably would be an under-statement. For our age, given the current economy, we are extremely fortunate and we know it.

So because of this, I don't have to work the 9-5 slog that most people do, and not only that, the work I am doing is what I love to do and what I went to school for. How often does that even happen these days?

So what's the problem? When I'm in social situations with people my age - particularly in the process of trying to meet new people, a lot of the time people like to vent about their terrible jobs, low pay, lack of sleep, being buried in debt etc and I don't blame them. They inevitably ask what I do and I suddenly feel awkward. "Misery loves company" but I'm not miserable and I feel like it would be insulting to people to try and play the "Oh, I know how you feel" card and try and make up something that I hate about my job. But I also don't know how to feel okay about talking about how much I love my job without sounding like I'm bragging or rubbing it in their face.

Now, I didn't always work for myself - I've had plenty of terrible jobs in the past. I just happen to be very lucky now.

I don't really know what I'm asking - I suppose I'm just wandering what people think of this scenario or if anyone else has encountered this.

Thank you for taking the time to read this!

Shanti :camp:

 

[lewisnotmiller]

I've kinda encountered it, although not exactly in the terms you describe.
I threw in my career in teaching, but had a lot of friends who were teachers. So we'd be getting together, and over time, my thoughts about teaching changed/developed, since I was an outsider looking in. Plus, they would talk about very specific things which I had no understanding of. I would, and still do, argue educational theory with them. But when they are talking about the funding model of the XYZ program...

Then I got pretty successful in my new career, and made plenty of cash. Thing was, it was hard work, much harder in a lot of ways than when I was a teacher. And it meant sacrifices they didn't have to make (being away from home, etc).

It did create some distance. But over time, a couple of others have left the profession, and we all have kids, so now, lots in common again...lol

My advice would be to speak honestly about your life. If they ask about your job, etc, then tell them what you do and why you like it. You might get some people who are jealous, but you will find some (I am sure) who are not. And the ones who are jealous are not ever going to be really good, close friends you can trust.

 

[dawny0826]

You inspire me and have more "power" to inspire others than you realize. I wouldn't be shy to talk about your success. You've earned it and you never know who you will inspire to pull out their paint set, violin or go back to school.

Successes are to be celebrated! Yay for you. I wish you and yours many more years of happiness.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

You inspire me and have more "power" to inspire others than you realize. I wouldn't be shy to talk about your success. You've earned it and you never know who you will inspire to pull out their paint set, violin or go back to school.

Successes are to celebrated! Yay for you. I wish you and yours many more years of happiness.

This would be an example of a reaction you might get from someone who is not self-absorbed, and has the capacity to respect and be glad for other people.

:yes:

 

[Fireside_Hindu]

You inspire me and have more "power" to inspire others than you realize. I wouldn't be shy to talk about your success. You've earned it and you never know who you will inspire to pull out their paint set, violin or go back to school.

Successes are to be celebrated! Yay for you. I wish you and yours many more years of happiness.

Thank you so much for your generous words, dawny! I really appreciate the encouragement =)

One place I have tried to go with the conversation is to make sure I say how lucky I know I am and how sad it is that so many talented people I know are unable to do what they love because they simply can't get paid enough doing it. Sometimes this feels like an apology for being lucky/successful, but I tend to be overly self-conscious in many areas so I could be over-thinking it.

I do try to encourage people who share with me that they have an artistic interest they have either never indulged in or that they have had to abandon for one reason or another. I know it takes a lot of physical/mental energy to come home from a soul-sucking job and then turn around and paint/practice when all you want to do is relax. ( I have been there, but again just not recently)

Thank you again for your response!

Shanti :camp:

 

[BSM1]

No matter what your position in this life you can always find someone in better circumstances and someone in worse. Remember the only person you have to answer to is yourself. Do what you can for others but do not be ashamed of being happy. If you let your joy silently show through your day-to-day life you might find it contagious-others around you seem to feed off your happiness. There's not much you can do for people who refuse to be happy no matter what. Just wish for the best for these types and never look back. Go...be happy already.