Complaining about free, unncessary things

[PetShopBoy88]

Is it okay to complain about the quality of something that you are getting for free and you don't need anyway? Like, let's say somebody gives you a free lunch (and don't nobody say there ain't no such thing as a free lunch, neither ). It's free, and you certainly don't need it (we'll say for the sake of argument). Are you then entitled to complain to the person who cooked the meal that it was too salty or too dry, and pester them to change their meals to suit you, who doesn't need the free service in the first place?

 

[UnTheist]

If it was free, they have no reason to complain. But you do have the right to complain about the things you paid for

 

[nutshell]

Is it okay to complain about the quality of something that you are getting for free and you don't need anyway? Like, let's say somebody gives you a free lunch (and don't nobody say there ain't no such thing as a free lunch, neither ). It's free, and you certainly don't need it (we'll say for the sake of argument). Are you then entitled to complain to the person who cooked the meal that it was too salty or too dry, and pester them to change their meals to suit you, who doesn't need the free service in the first place?

The issue is, what does "free" mean. For example, if I'm volunteering to clean a park and a local church provides a "free" lunch, is it really free? After all, I'm putting in my time and labor. That might not be money, but it's payment of some kind.

Anyway, I wouldn't complain anyway so this is all hypothetical to me.

 

[SoyLeche]

Is it okay to complain about the quality of something that you are getting for free and you don't need anyway? Like, let's say somebody gives you a free lunch (and don't nobody say there ain't no such thing as a free lunch, neither ). It's free, and you certainly don't need it (we'll say for the sake of argument). Are you then entitled to complain to the person who cooked the meal that it was too salty or too dry, and pester them to change their meals to suit you, who doesn't need the free service in the first place?

Sure. You are entitled to complain about just about anything. Don't be surprised when the free lunch isn't offered to you again though.

The person giving the "free lunch" is getting something out of it, even if it is just a good feeling. Take that incentive away and they won't offer it anymore.

 

[Djamila]

I think it's tacky to complain in such situations.

 

[PureX]

Sometimes these questions need to take into accound human nature, but don't.

If someone does me a small favor every day for a year, and I get used to them doing it, and then one day they don't do me this favor, anymore, I think it would only be natural that I'd miss their favor, even though I had no "right to it". And if I did happen to voice my dissappointment of the loss of this favor, would I really be that wrong? After all, hadn't I been sort of "trained" to expect it?

It's just human nature.

I think the answer isn't just about what's "right", but of what's reasonable, too.

 

[PetShopBoy88]

Sure. You are entitled to complain about just about anything. Don't be surprised when the free lunch isn't offered to you again though.

Let's take it a step further, then. Should those to whom I complain be under some sort of obligation to change because people don't like what they're dishing out?

The issue is, what does "free" mean. For example, if I'm volunteering to clean a park and a local church provides a "free" lunch, is it really free? After all, I'm putting in my time and labor. That might not be money, but it's payment of some kind.

Yes, that's the question I specifically wanted to avoid. I'm talking something that is monetarily or in terms of labour free for consumption. Something that I can get without being required to give back something tangible or visible. You know, the layman's definition of free.

 

[SoyLeche]

Let's take it a step further, then. Should those to whom I complain be under some sort of obligation to change because people don't like what they're dishing out?

No, they should not be obligated to change. They may choose to though. Most of them eventually will change if the complaining keeps up (the most likely change will be the removal of the "free lunch" entirely).

 

[evearael]

It would be rude to complain. In circumstances where it is not possible for you to enjoy what they are offering for valid reasons, like for a food allergy, you should politely decline and give them verbal appreciation for their generosity.

 

[mostly harmless]

I think it's tacky to complain in such situations.

I agree!

I have had to get on my BF's case a couple of times...we will go see his sister, and she will have made some kind of treat for someone else (say brownies for instance) and she will give him one and he will say things like 'oh, it's too dry' or 'could've put some nuts in them'
It makes me mad when he does this, I tell him that if someone does something for you out of the kindness of their heart, or gives you something they think you might enjoy, you DO NOT complain about it. You thank the person and maybe in the future mention how much you love brownies with nuts in them, or brownies that are ooey gooey, so that if they decide to make you brownies again they might think 'hey, he mentioned ooey gooey brownies once, I'll make those!'

Not only is it tacky, but it is also incredibly rude and ungrateful. Since the last time I had to speak to him about this topic it seems to have sank in...But, if I see he is about to be so rude, I'll just have to give him a good hard kick under the table and the evil eye.

 

[Draka]

No, you don't complain, especially if the person is going out of their way.

I had a friend (had being the appropriate word after this happened) who called me once for a ride to work. She didn't need a ride, as she usually walked but didn't feel like walking that day and had asked if I could give her a ride. I had plans with other people for the time she wanted the ride, but I told her that I could swing it if I took her early. She had a fit. She didn't want to go early and that if I couldn't do it when she wanted then I wasn't a real friend. There were some swear words thrown in as well. I was done with her then and there. I had helped her out on more than one occassion and the one time I can't be there she throws a fit about it? She is no longer a friend now.

Isn't there the whole saying about not looking a gift horse in the mouth?

 

[Feathers in Hair]

As others have said, it can be human nature to simply react negatively to things we don't like, regardless of whether or not we 'paid' for them. (In any sense of the term.) With that said, it's a rather negative thing if you find someone who does it constantly.

 

[CaptainXeroid]

No, you don't complain...

Isn't there the whole saying about not looking a gift horse in the mouth?

This is exactly what I was going to say.

When someone gives me something, I try to be gracious and say thank you whether I like it need it or whatever.:162:

Now, in the example in the OP, if someone offers you a free lunch and then asks you how it was, I don't see a problem in offering free advice how to make it better next time. I do see complaining just to express displeasure to be extremely rude.

 

[SoyLeche]

No, you don't complain, especially if the person is going out of their way.

I had a friend (had being the appropriate word after this happened) who called me once for a ride to work. She didn't need a ride, as she usually walked but didn't feel like walking that day and had asked if I could give her a ride. I had plans with other people for the time she wanted the ride, but I told her that I could swing it if I took her early. She had a fit. She didn't want to go early and that if I couldn't do it when she wanted then I wasn't a real friend. There were some swear words thrown in as well. I was done with her then and there. I had helped her out on more than one occassion and the one time I can't be there she throws a fit about it? She is no longer a friend now.

Isn't there the whole saying about not looking a gift horse in the mouth?

This is what I was talking about. She made it too expensive for you to offer her the ride. That's the risk you take when you complain - it adds to the cost to the "seller".

 

[Draka]

This is what I was talking about. She made it too expensive for you to offer her the ride. That's the risk you take when you complain - it adds to the cost to the "seller".

Yeah, if she had accepted the offer as it was then she would have not only gotten the lift, but things might be different between us.

If you complain or put specific requirements on a gift or act of kindness you may not only lose the act or gift, but the person going out of their way to give it. No one wants to give to the ungrateful and be taken advantage of.

 

[ChristineES]

If you give any kind of payment for it, such as money or services or whatever then it is not free. But if someone gives it to you for no payment on your part, then you should not complain, that is tacky.

 

[Pagaal~Mexican18]

I think it's tacky to complain in such situations.

agree if someone gives something to you....its just kind of rude to complain, if its due to the fact that you dont like something that was put in this said lunch, there are moe graceful ways of correction.:yes: