Cardero vs. Mrscardero

[cardero]

Mrscardero writes: Mike Nelson did the same. Did you ever question how he ate, breathed and other science facts?

No, I was too busy questioning why Frank Conniff (TV’s Frank) and Trace Beaulieu (Dr. Clayton Forrester) defected from the show to write for episodes of Sabrina: The Teenage Witch and Americas Funniest Home Videos!?!??!

Mrscardero writes:Statement you made that he has done nothing to me. What about what he has done to others. The war was over and everyone was calming down. What did Joel do?

Joel: "Yeah, but when you think about it, Joel's better!" And then we took off.

Where do you see the good in him after the comment he made as he left that chat room?
That was wrong...really wrong.

Yeah and Kevin Smith has been recorded on video protesting his own movie Dogma and never told the news people that were interviewing him that he was the director of the film but you still have a fondness for Kevin Smith and I don’t believe what he did was wrong as much as it was fun.

Well I had to pull a lot of strings but I have been able to secure a copy of Mystery Science Theater 3000 Episode 502 of Santa Claus. What this means is that we can satisfy both Cardero tradition and your impractical fondness for Mike Nelson. There is only one catch. Though Santa Claus Conquers the Martians is surreal and bizarre, Santa Claus is more disturbing on an international level and will leave you empty and hollow for the Christmas season (I hope that is not a problem). BUT…I do think that you should work on your unhealthy relationship with Joel Hodgson. There are too many terrible, horrible movies that you have yet to be exposed to and I do not think that your hesitation to Joel Hodgson is going to make these bitter pills easier to swallow. So that is my compromise and I wish you would accept it.

Mrscardero writes When I opened my Christmas present early, I went to cardero with tears in my eyes. I didn't know what to say. I am not sure if he is giving me this gift to get rid of me because he is not winning on the one on one debate or it's because…. he really loves me.

There are many people that are probably wondering why you would accept such a gracious gift from somebody who only wishes to share his version of what Christmas means to him. I remember the tears of happiness, I remember the excitement and surprise that you felt when you discovered your holiday present, I was there when you wrapped your arms around me and I felt your warm tears running down my neck. For the time in which you should be reunited with your family and homeland, the guy you have been debating so ferociously on this forum is only asking for 90 minutes of your time to spend and watch a movie that meant so much to him and to his childhood. I don’t think what I am asking from you is that unreasonable, do you?

 

[mrscardero]

There are many people that are probably wondering why you would accept such a gracious gift from somebody who only wishes to share his version of what Christmas means to him. I remember the tears of happiness, I remember the excitement and surprise that you felt when you discovered your holiday present, I was there when you wrapped your arms around me and I felt your warm tears running down my neck.

Sureeeeeeeeeeeee. Put me in the spot. This is like black mail. Giving me a present I cannot refuse and in exchange, your so called tradition of watching your movie. That is soooo low man. Really low.

the guy you have been debating so ferociously on this forum is only asking for 90 minutes of your time to spend and watch a movie that meant so much to him and to his childhood.

Umm...childhood? Not touching that one hun.

I shall offer you this. You must accompany me to my family on Christmas eve for a few hours. Don't worry! It's not like you are coming home empty handed. You will just have to spend some lovely quality time with my FAMILY. Plus you will be getting presents. I don't think you will be getting a tin can with coal

Then, when we come home, we shall watch your Santa Claus Verses the Martians

. Just because I am giving you this offer does not mean I like Joel. I don't think he is funny enough for MST3K. This doesn't mean you win you know. This just means that we are working on a compromise. Plus, friends compromise. Dance with me! Dance with me!!!!

I don’t think what I am asking from you is that unreasonable, do you?

I don't think what I am asking of you is that unreasonable either. Do you?

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Mike Nelson Rules!!!!!!!!!

 

[cardero]

Mrscardero writes: Sureeeeeeeeeeeee. Put me in the spot. This is like black mail. Giving me a present I cannot refuse and in exchange, your so called tradition of watching your movie. That is soooo low man. Really low.

I don’t think so mrscardero, the present was already announced and decided upon on December, 11th 2006, 2 days before I knew of your intentions about Mike Nelson and Joel Hodgson and your reservations about Santa Claus Conquers the Martians and before this one on one debate was proposed (12/13/06). You are two days, too late to use this excuse against me.

http://www.religiousforums.com/forum...t=43403&page=3

You will just have to face it, you’re ungrateful.

Mrscardero writes: Umm...childhood? Not touching that one hun.

Why is it so hard for you to believe that I had a childhood and that I may never have outgrown it?

Mrscardero writes: I shall offer you this. You must accompany me to my family on Christmas eve for a few hours. Don't worry! It's not like you are coming home empty handed. You will just have to spend some lovely quality time with my FAMILY.

I would rather watch the full 10 season catalog of those horrible, horrendous movies raw, stripped, without the comedic assistance of Joel or Mike or the “bots” than spend a night , a holiday night at your family’s house but I will consider it because my lawyer is telling me that it’s a good deal.

Mrscardero writes: Plus you will be getting presents. I don't think you will be getting a tin can with coal

If your family offered me another plane ticket to accompany you to the Philippines it still wouldn’t be worth it.

Mrscardero writes: Just because I am giving you this offer does not mean I like Joel. I don't think he is funny enough for MST3K.

You do understand that there are two other people that go into the theater with Joel and Mike right?

 

[mrscardero]

You will just have to face it, you’re ungrateful.

Ungrateful is such a harsh word to use on someone that does nothing but give. To call someone ungrateful hurts and just reading the word makes me wonder. How do you really feel about me.

Why is it so hard for you to believe that I had a childhood and that I may never have outgrown it?

Dude!!!! The movie came out 2 years before you were born. The only reason it's riffed is because it was a Ho Ho Horrible movie.

I would rather watch the full 10 season catalog of those horrible, horrendous movies raw, stripped, without the comedic assistance of Joel or Mike or the “bots” than spend a night , a holiday night at your family’s house but I will consider it because my lawyer is telling me that it’s a good deal.

Deal? Hmmm...does this mean I should start packing my things?
Wouldn't want to leave anything behind when you hand me the divorce papers. Can I still go to the Philippines? You're not going to be an Indian giver and take your present to me back, are you?

If your family offered me another plane ticket to accompany you to the Philippines it still wouldn’t be worth it.

It wouldn't be worth spending time with me in my country to see where I use to live?

To see how I lived and learn more about my heritage? Not worth it? If you lived in another country and you wanted to visit, I would go with you. I would even try my hardest to learn your language like being able to say I love you. In my language, "Mahal kita."

You do understand that there are two other people that go into the theater with Joel and Mike right?

Yeah...I know. You do know they are not people but voices. The other two that are in the theater with Joel and Mike are gadgets.

 

[cardero]

EPILOGUE: The debate between who is a better TV host, Joel Hodgson or Mike Nelson is an important all-inclusive debate that has been raging on for more than a decade now with no decisive winner in sight. It is probably a question that will trouble humankind for generations to come. The concept of riffing on bad movies and “yelling at the movie screen” is an age-old practice with unknown origins which probably started from our heckling fore-fathers during primitive stage performances but no one has adopted to manifest it into an art form like the cast and crew of Mystery Science Theater 3000. No one has organized it so properly into a televised weekly gathering like the gang over at Best Brains. The Best Brain-child of this television series exclusively goes to Joel Hodgson for taking the initiative and planting the idea of watching bad movies and making it fun once again. The same can be said for Mike Nelson for carrying this torch, this burden, another 6 years so that we would be able to keep this ritual alive and spiritually lit for generations to come. There is clearly value in both men’s performances and this cannot be denied. I cannot solve the Joel Hodgson/Mike Nelson debate for the whole world (I realized that now) but I can quell the disputes and bring a mutual understanding to this issue to my own household and I believe this debate has provided just that.


Mrscardero and I have compromised on Mike and Joel. Though she prefers Mike Nelson to Joel Hodgson, I am going to be a little more considerate towards the Mystery Science Theater movies I choose when we watch further episodes. I cannot promise that all bad movies previewed will be of the Mike Nelson quality because my catalog does not dictate that. Mrscardero has also learned the value that it is not about who is hosting the segments but is about the movies and how the victims of the Satellite Of Love handle these “cheesy movies” and how they overcome the helplessness, the torture, the pain and the suffering that such experiences bring. We could all learn a lot from these people. It is also safe to assume that MST3K Episode 501 Santa Claus will now be our Cardero Holiday Tradition but not without one last previewing of the Joel Hodgson Santa Claus Conquers The Martians. This is the celluloid handshake that has ended this debate


Cardero is keeping the tradition of the yearly viewing of Santa Claus Conquers the Martians (if only for himself) and handing this tradition down to his children (if interested), mrscardero is more than invited to participate in the festivities (if she so desires). Cardero will continue his search for bad movies for goodness sake and not use such films for spite or evil.

Violet Newstead was promoted to Vice President in recognition of her ability to remain calm in a crisis.

Judy Bernly fell in love and married the Xerox representative.

Doralee Rhodes quit Consolidated and became a country and western singer.

Daniel Simpson Day '63
Whereabouts unknown

Boon and Katy
Married 1964. Divorced 1969.