Bull[Stuff] by quagmire
Alternatley titled damn profanity filter.
Alternatley titled damn profanity filter.
I furrowed my field and planted my seed,
But I wasn't sure how much manure I would need,
So I went to the store, and I bought all I could,
And I piled it high, and I packed it down good,
And I waited and waited for something to sprout,
But my field just lie there--nothing came out.
So I sold all I owned and bought more manure still,
Till the field I'd planted grew into a hill,
Then I rested, assured that my hill would soon prosper,
But when harvest time came, there still weren't any crops there.
Still, I had to have something to fill up the glut,
So all I ate that year was, well, you-know-what.
But it soon became clear that this wouldn't suffice,
So I went on a journey in search of advice,
And I came to a church, where they gave me a sign,
Saying, "Plant our name on your hill and your crops will do fine",
So I planted their sign, and I played all their games,
And it sounded much better, but it tasted the same,
And no matter the sign, or the name that I named it,
the verdict was plain; t'would remain just the same ****,
"Alas and alack"! I cried out in despair,
"Surely God hates me"!, and "Life's so unfair"!,
How could He, the Creator, Condemn me, His creation,
To a lowly subsistence on cow defecation?
And it got in my eyes, in my ears, on my hands,
...blind, deaf and wretched I wandered the land,
Until one day it stormed in a furious gale,
With torrents of rain on a Biblical scale,
And when it was over, my eyes now flushed clean,
I climbed to high ground and surveyed the scene:
All I could see for miles around,
Were pile upon pile, and mound upon mound,
Of the same wretched substance with which I'd been cursed,
A blanket of Bull[stuff] that covered the earth.
"Is this all there is"!?, I cried out in despair,
To a being I barely suspected was there,
"Is this all you've made us? This is all?! This is it!!?
An infinite Universe covered in ****?
(to be continued.
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