Being told "you're pretty"

[Kathryn]

OK - well, I guess in Ireland that may be the case, but I assure you that in the southern United States, most women would appreciate being told they were pretty. It would not be considered an insult at all.

Unless of course, you say, "You know what - you're pretty in three ways - pretty ugly, and pretty apt to stay that way for a pretty long time."

 

[monta]

OK - well, I guess in Ireland that may be the case, but I assure you that in the southern United States, most women would appreciate being told they were pretty. It would not be considered an insult at all.

Unless of course, you say, "You know what - you're pretty in three ways - pretty ugly, and pretty apt to stay that way for a pretty long time."

lol I may use that! when we use it as an insult it is a joke, as in 'you may be dumb, but at least your pretty' and gets shortened to 'your pretty'

 

[Kathryn]

Well, I like that little Irish joke. It wouldn't be understood here at present, but with time, it could work! I may start trying to spread it.

 

[DallasApple]

I answered no..It wouldnt be creepy.

What is wrong with people when we cant say somethign nice and of course "respectful" if it refers to admiration of something they find physciacally "pretty" about you?

Don't we freely observe and comment all the time on how pretty someones baby or child is?Or even their dog? Or their car or lawn for Gods sake?

Its obvioulsy not the most important thing in the world.But I catergorize it with any words of kindness or affrimation.

And it doesnt have to be just "you are pretty".

I must be weird or a creep by some peoples standards..Because I have commented on "pretty" physcial attributes to both men and women and children and animals.(to strangers and walked away).

Color of eyes..eyelashes..color of hair..texture of hair..skin...freckles.. smile ..and in fact.."you are so pretty"..

I think unless someone is paranoid..or spoiled..It can make their day.

I once had a man..(an older man) a total stranger in Autsin..just walk up to me and say "excuse me I have to tell you something do you mind"..I said O.K..he leaned close to me..and sang softly in my ear a love song..(I wish to God I could remember the words..but it sounded folklorish and it was short like a nursery rhyme)..His breath tickled my ear and the words made me smile.Then he walked off..

Thrilling I'll tell you..I will never forget it.

Love

Dallas

 

[monta]

It must be a cultural thing, I know Irish people have a wider personal space circle around them than continental Europeans.
:run:
Conversely I have a Latvian friend who has told me that saying 'thank you' to a server in a restaurant for just doing their job would be seen as obsequious.

 

[black cat royalty]

I don't much enjoy having strangers comment on my appearance in any fashion. I mean, I know I'm pretty, what does that have to do with you?

No, but really, most of the time when a stranger approaches me and makes a comment about my looks, they follow it up with asking if I have a boyfriend or commenting further about my body, and I consider that inappropriate, so I've become wary of someone I don't know speaking to me about anything but the most perfunctory or professional things. My mental response is to wonder what they want and to be defensive. If the person is someone I know mildly, like we're in a class together but haven't spoken much, I don't mind as much because as brief as the relationship is, we have some base of communication. But out of the blue, nah, I don't like that. I'm sure it's personal, me not you, lol, because I don't tend to trust men in general except for close guy friends. I'd have to know the guy a while before I'd feel comfortable talking to him. If a random woman came up and said I looked pretty, I'd thank her. But a guy, I would probably just glare.

 

[Rise Above]

No. Why would that be creepy? If anything, I'd be more perturbed about a particular someone lurking and gawking from afar everyday than if they were to simply approach me and proclaim their attraction.

 

[JamieA1A]

Depends if they tell you in a creepy way or not. Beats being told you are ugly. :run:

 

[Alceste]

No doubt. It's very difficult to keep the lyrics from 'Closer' by NIN out of my head.

Ha - that reminds me, I was giving a guy a lift home once and he was REALLY sexy. All I could think about was how sexy he was, but I didn't want to come off creepy myself so I wasn't saying anything. But the silence was a bit too much to take, so to take the edge off I popped in a random mix tape, and that's the song that came on, really loud, right in the chorus. Talk about awkward! I couldn't turn it off hastily because that would have tipped my hand re. what I was thinking, which I'm sure was stupidly obvious to begin with. So I just turned the colour of a stewed tomato and suffered through it.

If I hadn't been engaged at the time to a friend of his, I probably would have just said something. I'm not usually the type to withhold such things.

 

[Alceste]

With regards to the OP, since you have a girlfriend anyway, what does it matter if they think you're creepy?

That said, it depends on your objective. If the point of the exercise is to make her feel attractive, you can do it best just by looking her in the eye and smiling (or not, depending on how you are at smoldering). If, on the other hand, you need to get it off your chest, go ahead and say something. However, if you don't say anything, it increases the value of your appreciation of her looks, because it makes you a guy who doesn't go around randomly hitting on chicks and leaves her a lot of room to imagine what else you might be like.

As a general rule, men are way sexier with their mouths shut.

 

[Scott C.]

I pass many pretty girls every day, and on multiple occasions, I've been tempted to go up to them with the sole purpose of telling them that I thought that they were pretty. Nothing else. Not even planning on talking to them. The thing holding me back is thinking that they might think I'm being creepy. I have a girlfriend, but I feel like many women deserve to be told that they're pretty when they are, especially with all the social pressures they face to be "perfect," comparing themselves to movie stars and models.

Would I be being creepy?

Your personality and delivery will make a lot of difference. The right person, saying it the right way, might pull it off - but then it will still depend on the personality and mood of the other person. The wrong person, saying it the wrong way (which would be most of us) would come across as weird.

As for me, I would feel creepy saying this to a stranger, even if I'm thinking it - since I'm married and it would seem like a come on. My wife and I have a few couples we go out with a lot. One guy will tell the other women how pretty they look - and he pulls it off - it sounds natural and complimentary - and it's clear that he's not coming on to anyone. But, if I try it, it comes out weird and just doesn't work. - but then he's in sales and I'm in software.

 

[idea]

Would I be being creepy?

Not to be offensive - but to me it would be both superficial, and creepy IMO. Personally, I don't walk down the street checking people out.

I would not get a boost of self-esteem / feel attractive etc. if a stranger told me "I was pretty", I would wonder if my outfit was not modest enough, I would feel like a target of some pervert, sorry.

that said, I talk to strangers all the time, not about what they look like, about what we both happen to be doing. talk to other moms and the grocery store who also have screaming kids in the cart, talk to people on the greenbelt about neighborhood news, talk to people at the park about things we have in common - say we packed the same lunch snacks or something. you start a friendship by talking about things that you have in common with people, about subjects that are safe. sure-if you have a friend that you know who has self-esteem issues, then you tell her something nice about herself (and if you do not think she is pretty, don't say it, no one likes pity lies). if you are meeting someone for the first time though, don't jump in the deep end of the pool, addressing imagined deep dark secrets, assuming that they have self-esteem issues and need to be told they are pretty, when you know nothing about them.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

With regards to the OP, since you have a girlfriend anyway, what does it matter if they think you're creepy?

Because they could be carrying mace.

 

[Alceste]

Because they could be carrying mace.

Well, if you're going to tell her from close enough to get maced, then yeah, that's creepy.

 

[Comicaze247]

Not to be offensive - but to me it would be both superficial, and creepy IMO. Personally, I don't walk down the street checking people out.

But I don't think you can deny that some people just catch your eye, right?

that said, I talk to strangers all the time, not about what they look like, about what we both happen to be doing. talk to other moms and the grocery store who also have screaming kids in the cart, talk to people on the greenbelt about neighborhood news, talk to people at the park about things we have in common - say we packed the same lunch snacks or something. you start a friendship by talking about things that you have in common with people, about subjects that are safe. sure-if you have a friend that you know who has self-esteem issues, then you tell her something nice about herself (and if you do not think she is pretty, don't say it, no one likes pity lies). if you are meeting someone for the first time though, don't jump in the deep end of the pool, addressing imagined deep dark secrets, assuming that they have self-esteem issues and need to be told they are pretty, when you know nothing about them.

I'm not assuming anything. I just know that many women in our society are being pressured to compare themselves to Hollywood, so letting them know that they are pretty without looking like a movie star does no harm. I'm not assuming anything about anyone's self-esteem, but isn't it nice, even if you don't have self-esteem issues, to get a compliment once in a while?

 

[Comicaze247]

Well, if you're going to tell her from close enough to get maced, then yeah, that's creepy.

My mom's mace can reach about 7 feet. That's still plenty of distance. (my friend was messing with it when we were little. Let it off in the friggin' house . . .)

 

[angellous_evangellous]

My mom's mace can reach about 7 feet. That's still plenty of distance. (my friend was messing with it when we were little. Let it off in the friggin' house . . .)

Yep. I imagine some can get up to 15 feet, so watch out for hot chicks with big purses.

 

[Scott C.]

My mom's mace can reach about 7 feet. That's still plenty of distance. (my friend was messing with it when we were little. Let it off in the friggin' house . . .)

Speaking of mace, two of my sons and a friend thought it would be fun to pepper spray each other, so they did. It burned, but they came out ok. They both lost confidence in pepper spray for self defense, as they said you had to get real close to the person and be a very good aim to make it work.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

Speaking of mace, two of my sons and a friend thought it would be fun to pepper spray each other, so they did. It burned, but they came out ok. They both lost confidence in pepper spray for self defense, as they said you had to get real close to the person and be a very good aim to make it work.

On top of that, you can hurt yourself with it.

But, a full can of pepper spray right in the eyes (and up the nose, in the mouth) plus a good hard kick to the pants should free you up to run.

A boyfriend who really cares about his girl will let her test the spray on him.

That's a fun thing to do after drinking with friends, and post it on youtube. :clap:

I suggest having a running water hose nearby.

 

[DallasApple]

On top of that, you can hurt yourself with it.

But, a full can of pepper spray right in the eyes (and up the nose, in the mouth) plus a good hard kick to the pants should free you up to run.

A boyfriend who really cares about his girl will let her test the spray on him.

That's a fun thing to do after drinking with friends, and post it on youtube. :clap:

I suggest having a running water hose nearby.

All I know is the last time I sprayed pepper in my eyes ..it certaintly wasnt to test it or for laughs.

It was an accident I swear.

Love

Dallas