Bad dog owner or too soon to tell?

[Fireside_Hindu]

Namaste all,

I'm writing this mostly to vent because I'm not sure if there's any advice anyone can give. I appreciate any thoughts from dog owners though - especially those who have adopted young dogs or puppies.

So, I've wanted a dog for years. Every place we moved I tried and failed to get permission to have one (renters). I grew up with a dog but had never owned one as an adult but was adamant that they were the best thing ever, and other dog owners always confirmed this for me.

About a month ago our apartment manager finally gave us permission to get a dog! I was so excited! Then about two weeks later, I found a dog through a rescue and brought him home. Now, I expected it would take several months for our new dog to adjust (he's an 8 month old wire haired terrier mix) and he certainly has been challenging in all the usual areas one might expect. However, overall, if I'm being honest, he's objectively a breeze compared to other dogs I've met. There's nothing "wrong" with him. All the ways in which he is challenging are probably related to his age and the newness of his environment.

My problem? I'm frustrated to realize that I don't really...like him. Yet, maybe. I feel like a babysitter, rather than an owner. I find myself getting easily irritated with him. I've tried to break out of this funk by playing with him as much as possible (which he loves to do and it's adorable). But that bonding time doesn't do anything for me. Again, yet.

So I feel guilty that the dog I wanted for so long leaves me feeling grumpy and irritated. And I know it's not him. I'm worried it means I'm not cut out to be a dog owner like I thought. I'm worried I get irritated too easily.

But then, I remind myself it's only been a few weeks. Maybe as time goes on and we get to know each other better, I'll feel better. But is it fair to let him get adjusted only to realize I'm a crappy owner? Has anyone else experienced this kind of ambivalence bordering on irritation? Is it normal? Will it pass?

Thanks for the thoughts.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

Maybe it will, maybe it won't. Since my mom died last year, I've been taking care of her cat that I bought her as a gift years ago and I don't really like the cat. I fight with her a lot. I have a sort of love for the cat, but I don't really like her. Lol.

As for your dog, you may be feeling overwhelmed at the moment since a dog is a lot of work and you've only had the dog for a few weeks, plus it's also a puppy, which require even more effort. Give it time and see.

 

[columbus]

But then, I remind myself it's only been a few weeks. Maybe as time goes on and we get to know each other better, I'll feel better.

My partner and I have a dog. I didn't want one. The first day we had her I seriously considered popping her little neck like a cheap wine cork.
But I didn't. In rather short order we adjusted to each other and now she's been a member of the family for nearly 12 years. I love my little dog.
And she is so spoiled it's kinda insane.

Relax and let your dog work doggy magic on you.
Tom

 

[beenherebeforeagain]

Namaste all,

I'm writing this mostly to vent because I'm not sure if there's any advice anyone can give. I appreciate any thoughts from dog owners though - especially those who have adopted young dogs or puppies.

So, I've wanted a dog for years. Every place we moved I tried and failed to get permission to have one (renters). I grew up with a dog but had never owned one as an adult but was adamant that they were the best thing ever, and other dog owners always confirmed this for me.

About a month ago our apartment manager finally gave us permission to get a dog! I was so excited! Then about two weeks later, I found a dog through a rescue and brought him home. Now, I expected it would take several months for our new dog to adjust (he's an 8 month old wire haired terrier mix) and he certainly has been challenging in all the usual areas one might expect. However, overall, if I'm being honest, he's objectively a breeze compared to other dogs I've met. There's nothing "wrong" with him. All the ways in which he is challenging are probably related to his age and the newness of his environment.

My problem? I'm frustrated to realize that I don't really...like him. Yet, maybe. I feel like a babysitter, rather than an owner. I find myself getting easily irritated with him. I've tried to break out of this funk by playing with him as much as possible (which he loves to do and it's adorable). But that bonding time doesn't do anything for me. Again, yet.

So I feel guilty that the dog I wanted for so long leaves me feeling grumpy and irritated. And I know it's not him. I'm worried it means I'm not cut out to be a dog owner like I thought. I'm worried I get irritated too easily.

But then, I remind myself it's only been a few weeks. Maybe as time goes on and we get to know each other better, I'll feel better. But is it fair to let him get adjusted only to realize I'm a crappy owner? Has anyone else experienced this kind of ambivalence bordering on irritation? Is it normal? Will it pass?

Thanks for the thoughts.

Doesn't sound to me like you're a crappy owner. It does, however, sound like you're out of practice having a dog around and it's taking YOU time to adjust.

It's also possible that while the dog is perfectly happy and doing the right things to not annoy owners and neighbors, you simply don't match on personality. I've had dog and cats, and each one is an individual, and some I've like more than others--you're aware that there's a conflict, but it's all in you, so you're gonna have to figure it out...and at least get used to having a dog...because a dog in an apartment does need to be babysat, at least for awhile.

Current indoor kitty has digestion problems, and for most of 13 years has been annoying us no end because she needs to eat almost continuously (special food, too), so her ways of communicating that she wants to eat again is 1) scratching the wall, 2) knocking things off the table, or 3) poking and biting us. Love her dearly, but I do yell and throw things at her from time to time...

 

[Sw. Vandana Jyothi]

Namaste all,

I'm writing this mostly to vent because I'm not sure if there's any advice anyone can give. I appreciate any thoughts from dog owners though - especially those who have adopted young dogs or puppies.

So, I've wanted a dog for years. Every place we moved I tried and failed to get permission to have one (renters). I grew up with a dog but had never owned one as an adult but was adamant that they were the best thing ever, and other dog owners always confirmed this for me.

About a month ago our apartment manager finally gave us permission to get a dog! I was so excited! Then about two weeks later, I found a dog through a rescue and brought him home. Now, I expected it would take several months for our new dog to adjust (he's an 8 month old wire haired terrier mix) and he certainly has been challenging in all the usual areas one might expect. However, overall, if I'm being honest, he's objectively a breeze compared to other dogs I've met. There's nothing "wrong" with him. All the ways in which he is challenging are probably related to his age and the newness of his environment.

My problem? I'm frustrated to realize that I don't really...like him. Yet, maybe. I feel like a babysitter, rather than an owner. I find myself getting easily irritated with him. I've tried to break out of this funk by playing with him as much as possible (which he loves to do and it's adorable). But that bonding time doesn't do anything for me. Again, yet.

So I feel guilty that the dog I wanted for so long leaves me feeling grumpy and irritated. And I know it's not him. I'm worried it means I'm not cut out to be a dog owner like I thought. I'm worried I get irritated too easily.

But then, I remind myself it's only been a few weeks. Maybe as time goes on and we get to know each other better, I'll feel better. But is it fair to let him get adjusted only to realize I'm a crappy owner? Has anyone else experienced this kind of ambivalence bordering on irritation? Is it normal? Will it pass?

Thanks for the thoughts.

Namaste, Fireside
Mmmmm, perhaps on a different level you aren't questioning whether you're a crappy owner but whether the decision to embark on setting up an attachment scheme--with all its pleasures and pains ("adorable, usual challenges")--was actually a good idea? I've been toying with the same idea (more than once, LOL, oh the pics on the internet!) but I remind myself that whoever mentioned "doggy magic" wasn't kidding. It's called "maya" in our lingo, as you well know, girlfriend!

 

[suncowiam]

Accept what ever outcome this experience gives you.

I would suggest you wait it out but at some point, if you don't like the dog, then you just have to accept that. There's no reason to blame yourself as long as you're at least taking care of the dog. You can return the dog to the shelter. You've done more than most people concerning adopting a dog so don't be so hard on yourself.

 

[Fireside_Hindu]

Just popping in for a quick update.

I'm moving closer and closer to the conclusion that I may have tried taking on too much at once for this. I was already over committing to work and volunteering projects, so when you add dog training, dealing with chaos from chewing and barking and just the general restructuring of my daily schedule, I'm not able to get anything done.

I'm still holding out that things will get better, but I've shifted from "not liking dog" to actively resenting him on several occasions. I still take care of him- he gets his walks and treats and playtime. He also just got his clean bill of health from the vet. But I don't feel anything positive toward him yet.

I'm wondering if I need to give myself a deadline. Like if I'm not feeling invested after two more weeks maybe I have to admit to myself that I messed this up.

 

[Ekleipsis]

Terriers are jerks

'nuff said

 

[Fireside_Hindu]

Terriers are jerks

'nuff said

He's not a jerk so much as he is an idiot. Like, he has one job - not to die by eating something he shouldn't and he can't even manage that. Like if I just let him go out into the wilderness he'd be dead in hours because he'd gobble down stones. But that's normal puppy stuff. I just question whether I am patient enough to deal with it and work with it until he unlearns all that. I question whether I'm suited for dog ownership. Most people like dogs, or at least feel neutral about them. I'm feeling a bit disappointed that the dog lover I always thought I was may be turning out to be false.

 

[beenherebeforeagain]

He's not a jerk so much as he is an idiot. Like, he has one job - not to die by eating something he shouldn't and he can't even manage that. Like if I just let him go out into the wilderness he'd be dead in hours because he'd gobble down stones. But that's normal puppy stuff. I just question whether I am patient enough to deal with it and work with it until he unlearns all that. I question whether I'm suited for dog ownership. Most people like dogs, or at least feel neutral about them. I'm feeling a bit disappointed that the dog lover I always thought I was may be turning out to be false.

My wife didn't like--or more factually, was scared of--dogs when her son dropped his off on us--a 50 pound pit/boxer mix. It took her awhile, but after about a year she became very attached to Abby. Abby, of course, had decided that we were both the best within a couple of weeks...

 

[Revoltingest]

Namaste all,

I'm writing this mostly to vent because I'm not sure if there's any advice anyone can give. I appreciate any thoughts from dog owners though - especially those who have adopted young dogs or puppies.

So, I've wanted a dog for years. Every place we moved I tried and failed to get permission to have one (renters). I grew up with a dog but had never owned one as an adult but was adamant that they were the best thing ever, and other dog owners always confirmed this for me.

About a month ago our apartment manager finally gave us permission to get a dog! I was so excited! Then about two weeks later, I found a dog through a rescue and brought him home. Now, I expected it would take several months for our new dog to adjust (he's an 8 month old wire haired terrier mix) and he certainly has been challenging in all the usual areas one might expect. However, overall, if I'm being honest, he's objectively a breeze compared to other dogs I've met. There's nothing "wrong" with him. All the ways in which he is challenging are probably related to his age and the newness of his environment.

My problem? I'm frustrated to realize that I don't really...like him. Yet, maybe. I feel like a babysitter, rather than an owner. I find myself getting easily irritated with him. I've tried to break out of this funk by playing with him as much as possible (which he loves to do and it's adorable). But that bonding time doesn't do anything for me. Again, yet.

So I feel guilty that the dog I wanted for so long leaves me feeling grumpy and irritated. And I know it's not him. I'm worried it means I'm not cut out to be a dog owner like I thought. I'm worried I get irritated too easily.

But then, I remind myself it's only been a few weeks. Maybe as time goes on and we get to know each other better, I'll feel better. But is it fair to let him get adjusted only to realize I'm a crappy owner? Has anyone else experienced this kind of ambivalence bordering on irritation? Is it normal? Will it pass?

Thanks for the thoughts.

You sound more suited to cats.

 

[beenherebeforeagain]

You sound more suited to cats.

at least at this time...

 

[Fireside_Hindu]

You sound more suited to cats.

Which is odd, because my husband had two when we married and I had a similar complaint about them - that I was unable to bond with them and felt like our personalities clashed. Maybe I'm just dead inside when it comes to pets?

 

[Revoltingest]

Which is odd, because my husband had two when we married and I had a similar complaint about them - that I was unable to bond with them and felt like our personalities clashed. Maybe I'm just dead inside when it comes to pets?

Cats do have the advantage of requiring less attention though.
So if you're to not bond with a critter, pick the least annoying kind.