Abuse and Religion

[Nisou Kitsune]

Does your God:

• humiliate you?
• criticize you and put you down?
• treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see, especially if they aren't in the same church or religion?
• blame you for His own abusive behavior?
• see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?
• have a bad and unpredictable temper?
• hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?
• threaten to take your children away or harm them?
• threaten to hurt you if you leave?
• destroy your belongings?
• act excessively jealous and possessive?
• constantly check up on you?

Does your religion and/or religious authorities:

• ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
• (for women) tell you or teach you that you are the property of your husband/father and your place is in the home?
• threaten to ostracize you if you leave?
• force you to stay with your partner no matter what is happening in the relationship, even if it means your possible death?
• control where you go, what you do, or what you wear?
• keep you from seeing your friends or family of different faith(s)?
• limit your access to money, the phone, the car, certain work, or limit any and everything you do?
• claim "persecution" whenever the group/leader is criticized or questioned?

Does your group or religion have:

• absolute authoritarianism without meaningful accountability?
• little to no tolerance for questions or critical inquiry?
• unreasonable fear about the outside world, such as impending catastrophe, evil conspiracies and persecutions?
• said or say there is no legitimate reason to leave, former followers are always wrong in leaving, negative, sinful or even evil?
• former members who often relate the same stories of abuse and reflect a similar pattern of grievances?
• records, books, news articles, or television programs that document the abuses or illegal activities of the religion/group or its history of violence?
• followers who feel they can never be "good enough"?
• preach that the group/leader/religious book is always right or infallible?
• said or say the group/leader/religious book is the exclusive means of knowing "truth" or receiving validation and that no other process of discovery is really acceptable or credible?

Do you:

• feel afraid of your God or religious group much of the time?
• avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your God or group?
• feel that you can’t do anything right for your God?
• believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated by your God?
• wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
• feel emotionally numb or helpless?
• feel like anything your God/the group/leader does can be justified no matter how harsh or harmful?
• have extreme obsessiveness regarding the your God/group/leader?
• depend upon your God/the group/leader for problem solving, solutions, and definitions without thinking for yourself?

If half or more of each category is true, chances are you are in an unhealthy relationship with your God and are in a cult-like atmosphere in your religion. If you need help leaving your cult, here is some information to help you. If you believe your friend or family member is involved with this cult-like religion, here is some information you can use to help them.

 

[sojourner]

None of the above.

 

[RitalinO.D.]

Funny, all that describes pretty much what every person that's left Scientology has said.

Of course I'm sure Scientology isn't the only one.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Does your God:

humiliate you?

Nope.

criticize you and put you down?

Never.

[*] treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed for your friends or family to see, especially if they aren't in the same church or religion?

Not really. Everyone knows, it's on my facebook as my Religious Views. Sometimes write notes on facebook about my prayers to the Sun.

[*] blame you for His own abusive behavior?

Doesn't blame anyone, not even Itself, though it rarely does abusive behavior.

[*] see you as property or a sex object, rather than as a person?

Not at all.

[*] have a bad and unpredictable temper?

Unpredictable, but usually not bad.

[*] hurt you, or threaten to hurt or kill you?

Never has to anyone, if It wants to kill us, It would kill Itself.

[*] threaten to take your children away or harm them?

Never.

[*] threaten to hurt you if you leave?

Nope, It doesn't care if I worship it or not.

[*] destroy your belongings?

Sometimes, but that'd be my fault because I should know better to show my possessions to It that could harm the possessions.

[*] act excessively jealous and possessive?

No.

[*] constantly check up on you?

No.

Does your religion and/or religious authorities:

[*]ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?

Nah.

[*]threaten to ostracize you if you leave?

No.

[*]force you to stay with your partner no matter what is happening in the relationship, even if it means your possible death?

If it involves death or pain, no, but it wants me to try to stay if it's no big deal.

[*]control where you go, what you do, or what you wear?

I stay in the sight of my God as much as possible, though it doesn't require me to.

What I wear, of course, if it is too hot that means my God is telling me to wear shorts and short sleeves

[*] keep you from seeing your friends or family of different faith(s)?

No way!

[*] limit your access to money, the phone, the car, certain work, or limit any and everything you do?

Yes, tries to make me cut down on polluting the environment... That means carpool when possible and if I can walk or ride a bike, do that instead. Do not liter.

And most importantly, do not use the Sun in a magnifying glass to kill insects

[*]claim "persecution" whenever the group/leader is criticized or questioned?

Well, I'm the only one in the group that I know of

Does your group or religion have:

[*]absolute authoritarianism without meaningful accountability?

No.

[*]little to no tolerance for questions or critical inquiry?

Nope.

[*]unreasonable fear about the outside world, such as impending catastrophe, evil conspiracies and persecutions?

No fear, it thinks that outside is good when the God is out.

[*]said or say there is no legitimate reason to leave, former followers are always wrong in leaving, negative, sinful or even evil?

Not really, each to their own.

[*]former members who often relate the same stories of abuse and reflect a similar pattern of grievances?

There are no former members that I'm aware of, except for the ancients, which I am a reconstructionist of their beliefs, though I haven't heard any stories of abuse.

[*]records, books, news articles, or television programs that document the abuses or illegal activities of the religion/group or its history of violence?

None.

[*]followers who feel they can never be "good enough"?

I don't think anything is "good enough", as a pessimist, but my beliefs do not require you to be pessimistic.

[*]preach that the group/leader/religious book is always right or infallible?

The only Leader of my religion would be the Sun, and I think it is.

[*]said or say the group/leader/religious book is the exclusive means of knowing "truth" or receiving validation and that no other process of discovery is really acceptable or credible?

Nope.

Do you:

[*] feel afraid of your God or religious group much of the time?

Never.

[*] avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your God or group?

Not at all. My God doesn't have emotion, thus does not get angry.

[*] feel that you can’t do anything right for your God?

My God doesn't want us to do right for It, It just wants to do right for us.

[*] believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated by your God?

No way!

[*] wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?

Not really, I'm pretty sure I'm right, and pretty sure there are more things that can be worship and that is right too.

[*] feel emotionally numb or helpless?

No.

[*]feel like anything your God/the group/leader does can be justified no matter how harsh or harmful?

Not "anything", but some things.

[*]have extreme obsessiveness regarding the your God/group/leader?

Not really, but I think about my God a lot, because I respect it, and I pray and bow to it a lot.

[*]depend upon your God/the group/leader for problem solving, solutions, and definitions without thinking for yourself?

Only for some things, but not many.

If half or more of each category is true, chances are you are in an unhealthy relationship with your God and are in a cult-like atmosphere in your religion. If you need help leaving your cult, here is some information to help you. If you believe your friend or family member is involved with this cult-like religion, here is some information you can use to help them.

Haha! I win! :beach:

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Funny, all that describes pretty much what every person that's left Scientology has said.

Of course I'm sure Scientology isn't the only one.

Wonder if there are any Scientologists on this forum.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Just for another perspective on this, here are Rick Ross' 10 signs of a safe group or leader:

1. A safe group/leader will answer your questions without becoming judgmental and punitive.
   
2. A safe group/leader will disclose information such as finances and often offer an independently audited financial statement regarding budget and expenses. Safe groups and leaders will tell you more than you want to know.
3. A safe group/leader is often democratic, sharing decision making and encouraging accountability and oversight.
4. A safe group/leader may have disgruntled former followers, but will not vilify, excommunicate and forbid others from associating with them.
5. A safe group/leader will not have a paper trail of overwhelmingly negative records, books, articles and statements about them.
6. A safe group/leader will encourage family communication, community interaction and existing friendships and not feel threatened.
7. A safe group/leader will recognize reasonable boundaries and limitations when dealing with others.
8. A safe group/leader will encourage critical thinking, individual autonomy and feelings of self-esteem.
9. A safe group/leader will admit failings and mistakes and accept constructive criticism and advice.
10. A safe group/leader will not be the only source of knowledge and learning excluding everyone else, but value dialogue and the free exchange of ideas.

Warning Signs

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Wonder if there are any Scientologists on this forum.

We've had a few over the years, but I don't believe any of them have been active recently.

 

[ChristineES]

OP answer: My God does none of those things.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

People that said no: If you are Christian: Doesn't God want you to give it extreme obsessiveness?

Doesn't the Bible say that you are not worthy?

So you would have to admit to "yes" for those things.

 

[RitalinO.D.]

Jesus Sum, That post has to be some kind of record for most quotes in a post lol.