Trying to find happiness without God has become impossible

PopeADope said:

I've fallen into unbelief in the sense that I do not have the faith that I had.

I don't believe in God or any such spirit being can be contacted by me or has any interest in my life.

It is a miserable hopless place to be and I've been there before. I cannot experience happiness in this agnostic or Deist frame.

Everything has become un interesting and the women I desire are out of my league and would require too much work and change for me to ever get close to.

I cannot figure out what else there is to live for. The days where prayer brought euphoria and I could taste heaven were so happy. My sins or something cut me off from that, and life has become bitter and empty.

I'm telling you, having faith is a much happier place to be. This atheism is hell and a feeling of total separation from God.

Not a damn thing brings me joy anymore. I walk to beautiful places to pray and my prayers are like daggers returning to stab me.

there is simply no reward in religion anymore and now I must make a difficult decision to find reward without a God or religion.

I simply cannot do it.

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May I ask a personal question?

Perhaps hell is for reformation of lost souls.

I have tried to escape atheism all my adult life because it is a type of hell for people who love life. I have never been satisfied with it.

I find no reality, nor comfort in Christianity, Islam, Judaism, and all the monotheist religions currently out there.

So i took a pragmatic approach to proving God's existence, and God's power and character. The best i have come up with is that we humans, and all living creatures truly deserve to live in this purgatory/hell until we all transform into creatures of virtue. And if we truly deserve to be here there are two ways you can go, A) deeper hells of depravity B) listen to God's commands and graduate out of this existence someday in peace.

My mother has a very general, and personal view of God that has nothing to do with any religion out there. She finds God on her entire own. I started to search that very way.

My personal view lately is that someday all souls, all living creatures will eventually be conquered out of this purgatory/hell into the light of true everlasting life. It may take the eternal fires of hell to do it, or simply the choice to abide and listen to the truest voice of conscience. But eventually ignorance, sin, and evil will be conquered by God in the hearts of all living creatures.

Any hell is going to be totally undesireable. Some hells are to be totally unbearable. But living without the knowledge of God is misery.

Many atheists are at total peace with ceasing to exist someday, and they revel in this vaporous, short, fleeting life. But i do not think it a wise way to go.

PopeADope said:

I've fallen into unbelief in the sense that I do not have the faith that I had.

I don't believe in God or any such spirit being can be contacted by me or has any interest in my life.

It is a miserable hopless place to be and I've been there before. I cannot experience happiness in this agnostic or Deist frame.

Everything has become un interesting and the women I desire are out of my league and would require too much work and change for me to ever get close to.

I cannot figure out what else there is to live for. The days where prayer brought euphoria and I could taste heaven were so happy. My sins or something cut me off from that, and life has become bitter and empty.

I'm telling you, having faith is a much happier place to be. This atheism is hell and a feeling of total separation from God.

Not a damn thing brings me joy anymore. I walk to beautiful places to pray and my prayers are like daggers returning to stab me.

there is simply no reward in religion anymore and now I must make a difficult decision to find reward without a God or religion.

I simply cannot do it.

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Maybe you can't do it, but God can! IMO any God would have infinite and individual attention, and there's no reason to suppose that God would not have time to spend with you.

Maximilian said:

May I ask a personal question?

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Yes

adrian009 said:

You just need somebody to love that isn't you.

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True!

PopeADope said:

Yes

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Thank you. Have you ever been physically, emotionally or sexually abused?

Maximilian said:

Thank you. Have you ever been physically, emotionally or sexually abused?

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Yes, all three

PopeADope said:

I've fallen into unbelief in the sense that I do not have the faith that I had.

I don't believe in God or any such spirit being can be contacted by me or has any interest in my life.

It is a miserable hopless place to be and I've been there before. I cannot experience happiness in this agnostic or Deist frame.

Everything has become un interesting and the women I desire are out of my league and would require too much work and change for me to ever get close to.

I cannot figure out what else there is to live for. The days where prayer brought euphoria and I could taste heaven were so happy. My sins or something cut me off from that, and life has become bitter and empty.

I'm telling you, having faith is a much happier place to be. This atheism is hell and a feeling of total separation from God.

Not a damn thing brings me joy anymore. I walk to beautiful places to pray and my prayers are like daggers returning to stab me.

there is simply no reward in religion anymore and now I must make a difficult decision to find reward without a God or religion.

I simply cannot do it.

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It's like a break up.
The first couple days / weeks are like "what is the point of everything..." and being reminded left and right about your lost love.

Then comes the day that you noticed you barely thought of that lost love during the entire day.
Some joy seems to sprinkle in left and right. You can smile again at funny things.
More time passes. Then the time comes that you realise you haven't thought of the lost love for an entire week. And looking back on it, you realise it was actually a pretty fun week.

Some more time passes. You meet someone. You feel a connection. It's exciting. You feel like a 16-year old kid again, sweaty when she calls. Then that first kiss... You're in heaven.

Someone reminds you of your old love.
You reply "who? ow....right,... wow...That seems like a long time ago..."


And life is nice again.

Unguru said:

I interpret it you come from a Catholic background? I don't believe in hell perse but I fully agree with your sentiment. Atheism is the absence of rationality and the idolatry of the physical world, all it can cause is suffering. A bad religious person and an atheist are inevitably the same thing.

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What a terrible and hatefull thing to say.

PopeADope said:

I have no clue how you atheists and agnostics find happiness when you only have faith in yourself to accomplish your goals.

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I'll go ahead and tell you: in the exact same way that theistic people find hapiness in life.

God is not a factor in your hapiness when you see your child smile.
God is not a factor in your hapiness while having fun with friends.
God is not a factor in your sense of accomplishment when you finally finish that ambitious project your were working on.

God isn't a factor in anything except in the mind of theists.

They thank him for everything that goes well and blame themselves for everything that goes wrong.
This is engrained in many religions. When it's nice it's thanks to god, but when it's bad it's because of "your sin" , because you are that "terrible". It's pure poison for the mind.

There is nothing wrong with being proud of your own accomplishments and there is no need to attribute your wins to an imaginary friend or father figure.

As a matter of fact, I think I get more satisfaction, more happiness, more sense of accomplishment... from the realisation that I have myself to thank for the things I did, instead of attributing it all to some undetectable deity.

Obviously you feel terrible now. That's part of the self-defense mechanism of religion, christianity in particular. It thrives on guilt from its followers. Which ties back to what I said above: if it's god, then it's god. But if it's bad, it's because YOU are such a terrible person and "need" forgiveness and a saviour. It really is pure poison.

It is literally designed from the ground up to make you feel bad about yourself and then conviniently offers the "only way out". This is what you have been taught. So this is how you feel. Now, it seems you are coming to a point where you no longer believe christianity has any "way out" to offer. Now all you have to do, is realise that you don't need a "way out". You are not a terrible person. There's nothing inherently wrong with you that supposedly needs "fixing".


As soon as you figure that out, your journey towards spiritual freedom can begin.

When you only have faith in the material world, and there are no spirits looking out for you or after life, it seems there is nothing meaningful to life imo

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Or so you have been taught by the very religion you are breaking away from...

If you do good deeds or bad deeds, so what? It really doesn't matter.

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Sure it does.
Go help a person that needs help. See if it matters to those people.
See what it does to you, when that person then smiles at you in thankfullness.

It's very meaningfull.

There is no reward or consequences for any of them.

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Sure there are...There will be social impact. And that social impact, will heavily influence the direction of your life.

as a believer I thought I could draw power from someone who was much greater than myself. I thought I could rely on these heavenly beings to be stronger and wiser.

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Well, you were wrong.
But ask yourself this.... did you really believe that?
And when such power was then "bestowed" upon you, did you really feel it? Yes?

Well then, the question becomes: if you now no longer believe that such entities exist... where then did you draw that power from?

Answer: yourself.
It was you all along. Nothing changed. Your beliefs changed. Reality didn't.
The hapiness, power, inspiration... you found in religion before: it all came from yourself. It didn't come from gods or angels. It's just you. You can draw that out again - without pretending it's supernatural beings who are allowing you to do that.

Now it must all come from me

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It always has....

It's a terrible place to be

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I say, it's the exact same place you were before.
Your beliefs might have changed. Reality didn't.

Atheism is hell in my experience.

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I'm quite positive that in a couple weeks or months, you'll think quite differently.

You'll realise that religion was no more or less then a spiritual prison for your mind, designed to prey on your fear and anxiety, by putting you down and then pretending to lifting you up.

It's typical con-man strategy...
First convince people that they are sick (and never actually proving or supporting that off course), and then conviently sell them the "only" cure.

You have now realised that there is no cure.
Now all that's left is realising that you aren't sick.

PopeADope said:

I've fallen into unbelief in the sense that I do not have the faith that I had.

I don't believe in God or any such spirit being can be contacted by me or has any interest in my life.

It is a miserable hopless place to be and I've been there before. I cannot experience happiness in this agnostic or Deist frame.

Everything has become un interesting and the women I desire are out of my league and would require too much work and change for me to ever get close to.

I cannot figure out what else there is to live for. The days where prayer brought euphoria and I could taste heaven were so happy. My sins or something cut me off from that, and life has become bitter and empty.

I'm telling you, having faith is a much happier place to be. This atheism is hell and a feeling of total separation from God.

Not a damn thing brings me joy anymore. I walk to beautiful places to pray and my prayers are like daggers returning to stab me.

there is simply no reward in religion anymore and now I must make a difficult decision to find reward without a God or religion.

I simply cannot do it.

Click to expand...

Are you kidding?! We are all sinners! That is called being human. God understands that. God knows that we are not perfect but loves us anyway just because we are we. And don't worry about religion. Be spiritual. Know that God or your higher power is with you always no matter what. Start praying again.