I Have A Confesion To Make

Hi everyone.
I joined these forums for your thoughts and advice on my problem, since I would only like to share it with people of similar thinking to myself, such as yourselves. I am a devout Roman Catholic, and am . Over the last couple of months, I have noticed that I am beginning to find other men attractive. Is there something wrong with me? Or is this just natural? What can I do to change it? Please help me!

Hi there.

Firstly, how old are you, a teenager or fully mature man?

Have you found women attractive in the past?

It's important to know your age before answering. It can make a big difference. So, how old are you?

Also, how extensive is your experience with women?

Have you ever been with a man?

If you can tell me the answers to those and perhaps some other questions it would help greatly in addressing your concerns.

I think we scared him off, Halcyon. He must not have been too concerned about it.

Sunstone said:

I think we scared him off, Halcyon. He must not have been too concerned about it.

Click to expand...

Maybe he got tired of waiting for a reply.

Hi, sorry I didn't reply sooner. I am 15 years old. I have never really fancied girls before, but only recently started liking guys. Thanks for your replies, its much appreciated.

Hi medwartz,

Firstly I want to Welcome you to Religious Forums;

I think I can understand your plight and confusion, because I can relate to your Catholic stance, even though I am not one myself.
We have a Catholic here by the name of "Victor" who would probably be the most likely member to be able to help you during this time.

The first thing I feel it necessary to say at this stage is "Don't worry" (you are most certainly not the only person who feels this way), and I look forward to hearing more from you.

Edit: I see you have now replied. Your body is at a stage where hormones are literally "Running wild", and maybe it is just a question of you 'finding your feet sexually'. Above all I think that there is only one message I can give you, and that is to re affirm the "Don't worry"; the more you focus on this, the more you will confuse yourself. As a Christian, I am somewhat unusual in that I think that, since God made us, Homosexuals are part of his creation, and therefore will receive the same Love and comfort from him. You are not alone.

Thanks for the help Michel, I'll bear that in mind.

medwardz said:

Hi, sorry I didn't reply sooner. I am 15 years old. I have never really fancied girls before, but only recently started liking guys. Thanks for your replies, its much appreciated.

Click to expand...

In many cases, 15 is not old enough to really know with confidence whether one is homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual. I have a friend I used to nanny when she was a child. She is now 22 and still isn't entirely sure what her orientation is, although by 22 most of us do know. If I can recall, I myself wasn't completely confident I was heterosexual as late as age 19. So, you shouldn't worry too much about this at 15.

Please remember: If it does turn out that you don't have the mainstream orientation, but are instead either homosexual or bisexual, then don't make the mistake of thinking that means you are immoral. There is nothing about ones orientation that makes a person any more or any less moral than another person of a different orientation.

Lastly, if you have an experimental bent, then experiment (using proper barrier protection, if you have sex) with both sexes. If being with one sex feels not much better to you than masturbation, while being with the other sex makes you much more passionate, then you will soon enough have your answer. Pretty simple, eh?

BTW, welcome to the Forum. We're a pretty tolerant group here and like just about everyone. I hope you like it here.

Hello my dear Medwardz,
May the peace of our Lord be with you. I too am a Catholic. I know this is a difficult time for you, so I will make a few suggestions. I agree with those who say that your hormones are running rampant at this time, but I do not agree that you should experiment. Acting upon your desires and curiosity at this time in your young life will only confuse the issue. I believe that chastity is a precious thing to hold onto. My first suggestion is for you to talk with the Lord for He truly hears your words. Ask Him to direct you. Rely upon your faith and on His compassion for your soul, for you are beloved of Jesus. Whenever you have these thoughts, just say " Jesus help me." Those words will remind you of your devotion to His Way.

I would also suggest that you speak with a priest. If you are embarrassed to speak with your own parish priest then go to another church in the area. Call and set up an appointment to speak with him. Another idea is to contact the Vocations Director in your Archdiocese. I am not suggesting that you become a priest! My thought is this, vocation directors deal on a daily basis, with young men who are trying to figure out their path in life, to see if they have a calling to the Lord. They speak to these young men about all kinds of things. I am sure that the vocations director can help you with this issue or direct you to someone who would be very willing to help you through this time.

It is good that you are wise enough to speak of the concern that you are having. I will pray for you. Remember, " The shortest distance between a problem and a solution is the distance between your knee and the floor. The one who kneels to the Lord , can stand up to anything." May the Lord bless and keep you. May He make His face to shine upon you all the days of your life.

Joyfully in Jesus,
Martha

Oh yes, 15 is way too early to be overtly concerned about any attractions you might have. It is common and natural, just not openly talked about often.

Just about everyone, especially men, will hope they are not gay and go to extraordinary lengths to deny it (like rushing into marriage, promiscuity or becoming a priest). Just don't rush into anything, give yourself time to mature and to fully understand yourself.

Talk to others, but do not only talk to devout catholics, whom obviously have a definite slant on the subject.

-Erin

My advice is to be true to yourself. Don't change who youa re to suit the beliefs of others, or how others think you should believe.

Just a little note..... You were the one who stated that you were a devout catholic, therefore I addressed you as a devout catholic! My point is this, when a soul reaches out for direction and claims a certain bent in it's thinking, then one would only assume that it is calling for those who think the same way to respond to it first and foremost. This is not to say that there are not those who believe in another path who are not just as knowledgable in the Way.
This young one is under great pressure and it is up to those who have insight into these matters to express their wisdom.
It has not gone unnoticed that there has been no response from this young one. Perhaps our advice was too overwhelming, or on the other hand maybe this was just someone who wanted some recognition. Then again maybe this one didn't realize that sometimes one's post gets pushed to the wayside and maybe he couldn'' t find it the next day and thought no-one cared. Therefore I revise this post in the hopes that by doing so, this young one will see it today and come back to let us know how he feels about our advice.

Or you could send a private message so they'll see it next time they log on....

Tiberius, well duh! Sometimes I am just too stupid and clueless for words. Thanks for the reminder about PM's. I am not being sarchastic, I am quite greatful for your reminder.
I wonder what happened to that young one? Oh well se la vie! We will be here if he returns.

medwardz said:

Hi, sorry I didn't reply sooner. I am 15 years old. I have never really fancied girls before, but only recently started liking guys. Thanks for your replies, its much appreciated.

Click to expand...

It's okay to be bi, It's not a crime. I was attracted to boys at the age of 8. Only you know what you are attracted to, age doesn't mean a thing. Age is a number, you don't need experience, plus 15 years is enough to know how your body works and what your mind wants

Sunstone said:

In many cases, 15 is not old enough to really know with confidence whether one is homosexual, heterosexual, or bisexual.

Click to expand...

egroen said:

Oh yes, 15 is way too early to be overtly concerned about any attractions you might have. It is common and natural, just not openly talked about often.

Click to expand...

People are always saying things like that, especially to gay and lesbian teens, and I just don't understand it.

It bothers me when people tell gay and lesbian teenagers that they aren't old enough to know what their orientation is. It seems condescending and unhelpful. Some people do go through a phase of curiosity and experimentation, but a fifteen year old who announces that he is attracted to males and has never been attracted to females is not likely to be one of those people.

Most of us wouldn't tell a fifteen-year-old boy who was attracted to girls that he was too young to know what his sexual orientation was, and we wouldn't tell him that he's too young to think about such things. So whence comes this refusal to give gay and lesbian youth the same respect and courtesy?

I agree, when the person is old enough to know for sure, then they'll know for sure. Some might know from a young age, others not until they get older. it's different for everyone.

Young man,

You are perfectly fine the way you are.
If you think other guys are attractive then go for it. Age is not the issue here. If it was then how do you know you are a catholic. You're too young for those things.
Understand what I'm saying. I can give you advice and everyone in here can. BUT you live your life. You have to be true to yourself. Not the church and what they think. What you want in life. Your loves and passions.

Once you know you. Then you will have the confidence to say I'm gay or sorry it was just a phase I'm straight. Or You know what sex sucks I'm celebit. Or Look out world I like guys and girls!

Question. Can you think of yourself as a gay guy and still have a relationship with God and not feel a little guilty?