Coffee or Tea? But what about Me?

DeviChaaya · Dec 4, 2011

Hiya, dudes and dudettes

Anyone else here find it a tad uncomfortable when people offer you tea or coffee and you say no? Their sudden confusion on your rejection is almost comical. 'Well... um... water?' and when you say 'no thanks' (because you're honestly not thirsty) you almost feel as if you're snubbing them.

And then, when you have people over and you just don't think to offer and they sit there all awkward and you finally twig and 'would you like something to drink?' and they ask for coffee or tea and then you're left saying 'I have water?'.

For the record, I drink cordial (I'm in Australia) but I drink so little soda so as not to really drink it at all and I don't have beverages other than cordial and water around. I don't even drink milk!

Terrywoodenpic · Dec 4, 2011

If people ask me that. I say "nothing at the moment thank you."
No confusion, no explanation needed.

You are probably uncomfortable, because you know that your particular choice of drinks can be seen as unusual. And being asked "Tea or Coffee" highlights that.

It is only a problem if you make it one.

You could even make it an opportunity to spread a healthy option. ( though cordials often contain too much sugar)

SMSummer · Dec 4, 2011

hahaha i've never had that happen to me

Reverend Rick · Dec 4, 2011

Terrywoodenpic said:
If people ask me that. I say "nothing at the moment thank you."
No confusion, no explanation needed.

That make so much sense. If I was the OP and I planned on entertaining, I might have some basics around to offer my guests.

Other people do this, perhaps they only drink diet, but keep a six pack of something else on hand.

Many small markets will let you mix and match so you could buy a six pack and have six different choices to offer. Myself I would choose two of each and have 3 choices in case two guests wanted the same thing.

They make coffee singles and many teas have variety packs.

For very little expense, you could be a full service host.

If I hardly ever had guests, I would not worry about it.

Gaura Priya · Dec 9, 2011

Hare Krishnas and some health people are anti-caffeine anyways, so it's not really a problem here.

The health movement is pretty influential here... everything is omega this, blue menu healthy that, whole grain this, yoga mat that, lol.

As for me, I drink coffee once in a while when I need to wake up for night shift. Otherwise, I prefer going for decaf or non-caffeinated alternatives. I'm sure glad that some cafes here in my vicinity have moved to rooibos!

Penumbra · Dec 18, 2011

9 times out of 10, I don't eat the same food or drink the same drinks as people I associate with. It results in some inconvenience, but it doesn't have to be awkward.

When I have guests, I offer them what I have. It's all very high-quality stuff, and although they may not be used to it, they may enjoy it. I drink green tea so that's always offered. Usually I have something that people want, like chocolate, tea, nuts, etc.

When people offer me stuff I don't want, I just say "no thanks" or "I'm not hungry/thirst", and it doesn't have to be a big deal.

Reverend Rick · Dec 18, 2011

Penumbra said:
I drink green tea so that's always offered.

I absolutley love green tea hot or cold.

Mathematician · Jan 5, 2012

"No thanks, but I'll take some whiskey if you have it."

Breathe · Jan 5, 2012

I have coffee in the house, but I don't drink it.
If I'm offered something I don't want, I'll usually say I don't drink coffee or alcohol, and if something I do drink, "I'm fine for now, thanks."

I don't know if almost everyone whose house I've been to is a borderline drunk, but not accepting alcohol in houses has caused some funny (and occasionally, filthy) looks to be thrown in my direction.

Panda · Jan 5, 2012

Odion said:
I have coffee in the house, but I don't drink it.
If I'm offered something I don't want, I'll usually say I don't drink coffee or alcohol, and if something I do drink, "I'm fine for now, thanks."

FREAK! How can you not drink the two greatest drinks on Earth.

Odion said:
I don't know if almost everyone whose house I've been to is a borderline drunk, but not accepting alcohol in houses has caused some funny (and occasionally, filthy) looks to be thrown in my direction.

Hahaha I can imagine that.

I drink coffee or water normally if at someone's house.

illykitty · Jan 5, 2012

Hm, well personally I like coffee and LOVE tea, so many flavours to choose from! Loose green tea being the type I drink most, we have two teapots, one of them being a cast iron tetsubin!

Anyway, I have an issue with people asking me if I want a drink (alcohol) and I say "no, I don't drink much" they look at me funny. I find it funny that saying no to a substance that takes away your awareness is considered weird! I only occasionally drink a little bit on holidays and such because I feel like I have to. =_=

My husband doesn't really drink tea or coffee, he drinks squash (juice) and LITERS of it. It annoys him when people automatically assume that you either like tea or coffee.

enchanted_one1975 · Jan 5, 2012

As Rick mentioned, I usually keep beverages around for guests that I would not drink. I drink diet soda, but I usually keep some regular soda around. If I want to enjoy a glass of wine I like dry reds, like a cabernet. I buy those 4-packs of small bottles of other wines, like chardonnay and white zinfandel, in case someone else likes the opposite of what I like. I even keep some beer in the fridge, although I prefer other stuff.

As far as coffee, I could see one that doesn't like coffee not keeping a coffee pot on their counter. If this is you, you now know why instant coffee exists.

Breathe · Jan 5, 2012

Panda said:
FREAK! How can you not drink the two greatest drinks on Earth.

Coffee smells like cat **** to me for some reason; always has. I must be a freak.

Alcohol, though, is gross. I was bought some as a present for Christmas, and so come new years' I gave it to the sis-in-law. The smell alone makes me feel queasy.

Hahaha I can imagine that.

I drink coffee or water normally if at someone's house.

Asking for water seems to be like asking to drink from the toilet from my experience. They're like "What? Water? We have coke." "No thanks, water would be fine." "What about apple juice?" "No thanks." "Squash?" "...Okay, I'll have squash."

Penumbra · Jan 5, 2012

I never once drank coffee in my life.

<_<

>_>

lunamoth · Jan 5, 2012

Seems perfectly polite to ask someone if they would like a glass of water if they come to your home, without having to offer any other options.

When offered tea or coffee in someone's home, I think "no thank you" or "I would love a glass of water, thank you" would be appropriate.

I understand how it can be little things like this that make you feel awkward, if you don't have a plan!

Mathematician · Jan 5, 2012

I think some people may give bad glances if you say "I don't drink alcohol" because it may come off condescending. I personally would know what you meant, but I've met my fair share of prohibitionists, heh.

lunamoth · Jan 5, 2012

GeneCosta said:
I think some people may give bad glances if you say "I don't drink alcohol" because it may come off condescending. I personally would know what you meant, but I've met my fair share of prohibitionists, heh.

I can't imagine why anyone would need to give that particular detail, unless pressed. And, if the host/ess has pressed, then no need to worry about decorum at that point anyway.

"No, thank you" should suffice.

Breathe · Jan 6, 2012

Penumbra said:
I never once drank coffee in my life.

Neither have I. For all I know, it could be amazing, but I can't get past that funky smell, y'know?

GeneCosta said:
I think some people may give bad glances if you say "I don't drink alcohol" because it may come off condescending. I personally would know what you meant, but I've met my fair share of prohibitionists, heh.

It probably appears condescending.
However, if people weren't trying to force it on me, I wouldn't say it.

It usually goes something like this:

"Do you want a can?"
"No thanks."
"Go on, just one won't hurt."
"I'm fine."
"It's okay, you can have one."
"I don't drink."
Queue looking like I'm an alien or like I've just took a whizz on their kids.

Shadow Wolf · Jan 6, 2012

I don't drink coffee so it tends to catch people off guard when I decline there offers of coffee. It doesn't cause any problems though, just people thinking I'm odd for not liking a drink that tastes like burnt something. Tea I like, but people hardly offer that.
At my house, I very rarely have anyone over for more than a few minutes so I really don't keep anything extra for guests.

The Sum of Awe · Jan 8, 2012

Drinking tea daily really gets annoying after a while. The coldness wakes me up the first couple of days, then I'm used to the coldness + the usual taste and it bores me.

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