Dating

[Trailblazer]

Where are the best places to meet people to date? I feel that using dating sites doesn't significantly improve one's odds in general - it's just more time spent in the house, where if someone went out and about in real life, any social interaction there could easily replace getting frustrated by some dating site that doesn't bring easily reproducible results.

I have no idea where you would meet a man in person, it would depend upon the activities you like. There would be no place for me to meet men in person which is one reason I only use the dating sites. I am now a member of Zoosk, Spiritual Singles, eharmony, and two Baha'i dating sites which are pretty much inactive. I just joined eharmony recently but so far it is no better than the other sites. I only joined because I got a cheap deal. Of all those sites, I like Spiritual Singles the best, and there is one man from there I am hoping might work out. I will consider it a miracle if it does since hardly any men are looking for a woman with my values, lifestyle, and interests.

 

[Trailblazer]

Welp, my dating days are over, so you missed your chance...!!

My dating days were over too, until my husband passed on. I hope yours remain over.

 

[Trailblazer]

My ultimately successful option was to befriend guys with hot sisters.

That is how my late husband met me, through my sister. I was hot back in those days but now I am cold as ice, but it's looking like I am going to be forced to heat up, or never get married again. What is it with men and sex? Don't they ever get too old?

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

I have no idea where you would meet a man in person, it would depend upon the activities you like. There would be no place for me to meet men in person which is one reason I only use the dating sites. I am now a member of Zoosk, Spiritual Singles, eharmony, and two Baha'i dating sites which are pretty much inactive. I just joined eharmony recently but so far it is no better than the other sites. I only joined because I got a cheap deal. Of all those sites, I like Spiritual Singles the best, and there is one man from there I am hoping might work out. I will consider it a miracle if it does since hardly any men are looking for a woman with my values, lifestyle, and interests.

There are men who pursue me.

But me, I'm more of a trans female (she/her or they/them), who likes women.

There are times when I don't feel like identifying with much of a gender too. But I still tend to mostly remain feminine presenting.

 

[JustGeorge]

My husband was the friend of a gamer friend. I'd never met the friend in person, but we'd online gamed for about 6 years, and talked on the phone a lot, and knew each other pretty well. So, him deciding that his real life buddy was a good match for me was spot on.

I met my oldest son's father pretty young; 19, I think. He was the friend of friends.

I had one boyfriend in between him and my husband; I met him on an online game.

The idea of dating was terrifying. I am a person who isn't casual about sex, and the idea that most circles I was in seemed to put little worry into that being just a part of dating wasn't okay with me. (I don't care what others do, it just wasn't something I could do.) Meeting at a distance gave me a chance to build a bond and get to know a person before I'd be put in any situations like that.

 

[Trailblazer]

Well, I met my wife after I joined a writers' group...

Thanks for the idea. I guess I need to join a cat group, since that is where my heart is.

 

[Trailblazer]

I've met and dated several people from dating sites. But I tend not to even look at people for which there is less than a 90% match.

I find that those matching scores are very unreliable. I don't like any of the men that are matched to me. eharmony is worse than the other dating sites. It says I am an 109% match and I have nothing in common with these men.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

My husband was the friend of a gamer friend. I'd never met the friend in person, but we'd online gamed for about 6 years, and talked on the phone a lot, and knew each other pretty well. So, him deciding that his real life buddy was a good match for me was spot on.

I met my oldest son's father pretty young; 19, I think. He was the friend of friends.

I had one boyfriend in between him and my husband; I met him on an online game.

The idea of dating was terrifying. I am a person who isn't casual about sex, and the idea that most circles I was in seemed to put little worry into that being just a part of dating wasn't okay with me. (I don't care what others do, it just wasn't something I could do.) Meeting at a distance gave me a chance to build a bond and get to know a person before I'd be put in any situations like that.

The main problem for me, I think, is that I sometimes don't know how to flirt.

There have been times where I sensed that someone was interested in me, and I just shut down.

 

[Trailblazer]

I generally don't go below 20 years younger that I am. At my age, that is usually at least the moms if not the grandmoms.

On the Zoosk dating site, a few men much younger than me wanted to date me but I could not figure out why. When I inquired I found out they wanted sex so that was a deal-breaker since I would never have sex out of wedlock. That limits my prospects considerably unless a man is looking to get married and is willing to wait. I am holding my ground and if that means remaining single so be it. It might take me so long to find a man that by then he will be too old for sex. But there is a man on one dating site who is 107 and he still wants sex!

 

[Trailblazer]

There are men who pursue me.

But me, I'm more of a trans female (she/her or they/them), who likes women.

There are times when I don't feel like identifying with much of a gender too. But I still tend to mostly remain feminine presenting.

You might try Spiritual Singles since they have categories for all the different sexual orientations.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

There are men who pursue me.

But me, I'm more of a trans female (she/her or they/them), who likes women.

There are times when I don't feel like identifying with much of a gender too. But I still tend to mostly remain feminine presenting.

I should probably also clarify that there are some men out there who interest me, but most don't. For that reason, I don't pay too much mind to a lot of men, because I feel there are more women I feel I connect with.

As for the men that do manage to interest me... I've never made a move.

 

[JustGeorge]

The main problem for me, I think, is that I sometimes don't know how to flirt.

There have been times where I sensed that someone was interested in me, and I just shut down.

I don't know how to flirt, either.

When I was a teen, I went out in something I'd created myself, but was pretty scandalous. My mom's friend asked why in the world she'd let me go out in such a thing, and my mom laughed and said that I didn't know how to flirt. She was correct. I wasn't even wearing it to be showy. I had put a lot of effort into that outfit's creation; of course it would hug the right parts. Nothing sexual in my mind; all art. She got it, though.

I think with my husband, he made a fool of himself. I have a weakness for fools. He also seemed to genuinely enjoy the abuse I swung at him. It worked. No flirting; I don't, and his was turned into a comic wasteland.

I think you just have to find one you 'vibe' with.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Welp, my dating days are over, so you missed your chance...!!

Someone else might be willing! I'll even push for it to be turned into a TV show so I can have at least one schadenfruede buffet out of it.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Really, I think my 'type' is people 4-6 years younger than me who are into Alt fashion. I mention that if anyone knows of any dating site mentions or real life mentions that caters to that kind of stuff.

I was actually kind of into that stuff and scene as a teenager. Then I got fat and kind of stopped caring about my appearance. Then I later cared about my appearance again. But myself, as it stands, I feel I kind of have that 'alt' personality, but I look pretty plain and normal as it is. Never got any abnormal piercings though, because when I was younger, that would have been like a death sentence in a conservative family (only exaggerating a little - lol).

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

You might try Spiritual Singles since they have categories for all the different sexual orientations.

I might look into it later.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

I find that those matching scores are very unreliable. I don't like any of the men that are matched to me. eharmony is worse than the other dating sites. It says I am an 109% match and I have nothing in common with these men.

Yeah. It's nothing personal to @Polymath257 , but reading his post, I was thinking "He makes this sound easy", and it wasn't easy for me.

Some people just really have the right approach, too - I'm thinking.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

Yeah. It's nothing personal to @Polymath257 , but reading his post, I was thinking "He makes this sound easy", and it wasn't easy for me.

Some people just really have the right approach, too - I'm thinking.

Polymath used to be a pimp, I’m sure of it.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Polymath used to be a pimp, I’m sure of it.

Yeah, some people are just naturally drawn.

@Valjean digs through people's trash. Then all the cute women look at him and ask, "Can I take you out?"

 

[lewisnotmiller]

That is how my late husband met me, through my sister. I was hot back in those days but now I am cold as ice, but it's looking like I am going to be forced to heat up, or never get married again. What is it with men and sex? Don't they ever get too old?

I seriousness, I think there is more variety than women think. But it's the ones interested in sex who are most likely to put themselves out there and be easiest to identify and flirt with.

 

[Trailblazer]

I might look into it later.

There are members all over the world. It is free to put a profile on and view members, and if they are paying members they can send messages to you but you need to be a member to send messages to other members. I only paid $12 a month for 6 month full membership.