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What is written in books does not matter now. Hindus do not have a 'sharia'. We have new laws, 18 is the age of consent and marriage (some times relaxed by Supreme Court).
Indian Supreme Court has said that the case that Modi government was involved in Godhra riots falls like a house of cards. There is not even a shred of evidence for that. Of course, the government failed to cope with the situation. The Suprme Court further ordered that those who blamed Modi for Godhra riots should be investigated. Consequently, Teesta Setalvad is currently in jail.
Islam never had A Reformation and The Enlightenment which toned down Christian fundamentalism (although it still exists as a minority). Islam is pretty much the way it was 1200 years ago. Jews on the other hand have been through centuries of persecution and suffering - that has also reduced their fundamentalism (but it still exists like among settlers in the West Bank).
The similarity between Christianity and Islam is that they were the religions of conquering nations whose by no means unusual habit was to convert the conquered to the conqueror's religion.
The Quran does not specify "gently". It merely says "beat them". The word used to describe beating a wife in 4:34 is in the same form as the word used to describe striking enemies in battle in 8:12.
What better way to persuade people give their lives fighting for a cause than to promise them a fantastic paradise in the afterlife where they have whatever they desire. Oh, and the promise that they can keep a share of any of the valuables and women that are captured.
Not a particularly high bar though. All religions are clearly false and contain nonsense.
It is important to acknowledge the difference between "Islam" (as defined by the contents of the Quran and sunnah), and "the behaviour of individual Muslims", which covers pretty much the entire spectrum of human behaviour. What is interesting is that many of them can point to some passage of the Quran or sunnah that they claim supports their position, whatever that might be.
But it isn't incoherent. It is demonstrably true that some people use religion to justify violence.
It has been accepted knowledge amongst Islamic scholars for 1400 years that Muhammad married Aisha when she was 6 and had sex with her when she was 9. It is not a "mistranslation". It is based on several sahih hadith found in the most reliable and authentic (in an Islamic context) collections. No one ever questioned it until recently when sceptics raised the issue as a problem with the claim that Muhammad is the perfect moral exemplar for all mankind.
Just because something is morally unacceptable today doesn't mean that it therefore can't be part of Islam. Look at keeping slaves, using female captives for sex, and torturing people to death. We can't judge life in 7th century Arabia by our 21st century, western morality (unless people claim that 7th century Arab morality should apply today, of course).
"Rape" is basically "unlawful sex". Which is why Muhammad did not "rape" Aisha, because unlawful sex based on age was not a concept then.
That is by no means limited to Islam. Christians can easily do this with the Bible. And when it comes to Talmud and Torah? Oh my.
People are generally inclined to tribalism. If it's not religion it's something else. However there are cultural differences.