"Christian Mother Tries Defending Her Guide to Hitting Kids: 'It Has to Hurt' ”

[Skwim]

.


"Christian blogger Lori Alexander has a long history of saying the worst possible thing in every situation, but this week, a few screenshots began circulating of comments she made several months ago in which she describes smacking her children.

She seems to delight in telling other mothers how and how long to hit their kids.

In one case, she talks about hitting her kid for four straight hours. (In that screenshot, I’m assuming she means “spank” instead of “spark.”)

In another, she says “it has to hurt” or else they won’t learn their lesson.

In yet another, she claims to use a “foot-long strap.”

There’s a word for this and it’s not “discipline.”

It’s “abuse.”

It’s the sort of “train up a child” thinking that’s popular in fundamentalist Christian circles. The idea is that your children must fear you in order to grow up healthy, therefore hitting them (no matter how delicately that’s described) is the best parenting tool available. But realize these are people who grew up to believe hitting their kids is okay. They’re deranged. They’re living proof of how that method fails.

Alexander has now come out with a video attempting to defend herself. The lies begin right in the title: “NO, We Did NOT Abuse Our Children.”

​

In part of the video, she claims she “misspoke” about hitting her kid for four straight hours… before later saying it may have been a four-hour cycle of spanking, then the kid still not obeying, then spanking again, etc.

Which doesn’t help her case.

She eventually summarizes her views:

… if you asked any of our children if they were abused, they would say not in any way, because we loved our children. We’re not abusive. We’re not mean. We’re not mean or unkind parents in any way. We believe in God. We believe that His ways work, and spanking has been around for generations and generations. It’s legal in every single state. And for a reason: It works!
I just wanted to clear that up. We’re not abusive parents. We loved our children deeply. We wanted the best for them. We wanted them to grow up to be disciplined adults.
​

All of that is the same justification you’ll hear from men who abuse their wives. They’re not abusive. They just wanted to fix a problem. They love their partner…

Of course we never hear from the children themselves in this video. Only the abuser. But even if the children say they’re fine, it wouldn’t justify the method. Hitting your kids is abuse. In this case, Alexander uses Christianity to defend her cruelty. And if your religion can provide a cover for violence, then your religion is part of the problem."
source
​

And don't forget, "a 'rod' works much better than a hand." So, how about a show of hands out there: Hurting your child is the best way to discipline them. ..or..

.

​

 

[pearl]

Its the best way to assure another messed up kid turned loose on society.

 

[Koldo]

.


"Christian blogger Lori Alexander has a long history of saying the worst possible thing in every situation, but this week, a few screenshots began circulating of comments she made several months ago in which she describes smacking her children.

She seems to delight in telling other mothers how and how long to hit their kids.

In one case, she talks about hitting her kid for four straight hours. (In that screenshot, I’m assuming she means “spank” instead of “spark.”)

In another, she says “it has to hurt” or else they won’t learn their lesson.

In yet another, she claims to use a “foot-long strap.”

There’s a word for this and it’s not “discipline.”

It’s “abuse.”

It’s the sort of “train up a child” thinking that’s popular in fundamentalist Christian circles. The idea is that your children must fear you in order to grow up healthy, therefore hitting them (no matter how delicately that’s described) is the best parenting tool available. But realize these are people who grew up to believe hitting their kids is okay. They’re deranged. They’re living proof of how that method fails.

Alexander has now come out with a video attempting to defend herself. The lies begin right in the title: “NO, We Did NOT Abuse Our Children.”

​

In part of the video, she claims she “misspoke” about hitting her kid for four straight hours… before later saying it may have been a four-hour cycle of spanking, then the kid still not obeying, then spanking again, etc.

Which doesn’t help her case.

She eventually summarizes her views:

… if you asked any of our children if they were abused, they would say not in any way, because we loved our children. We’re not abusive. We’re not mean. We’re not mean or unkind parents in any way. We believe in God. We believe that His ways work, and spanking has been around for generations and generations. It’s legal in every single state. And for a reason: It works!
I just wanted to clear that up. We’re not abusive parents. We loved our children deeply. We wanted the best for them. We wanted them to grow up to be disciplined adults.
​

All of that is the same justification you’ll hear from men who abuse their wives. They’re not abusive. They just wanted to fix a problem. They love their partner…

Of course we never hear from the children themselves in this video. Only the abuser. But even if the children say they’re fine, it wouldn’t justify the method. Hitting your kids is abuse. In this case, Alexander uses Christianity to defend her cruelty. And if your religion can provide a cover for violence, then your religion is part of the problem."
source​

And don't forget, "a 'rod' works much better than a hand." So, how about a show of hands out there: Hurting your child is the best way to discipline them. ..or..

.

​

Holy crap...
Four hours?!

 

[Nakosis]

Better question is perhaps, how do you discipline your kids?

I find a stern no works well. Generally kids seek approval. You don't need to physically hurt them to show disapproval.

My parents spanked/hit me. That taught me more about avoiding my parents than right from wrong.

 

[Twilight Hue]

I'm mixed on the subject.

If you don't spank a kid he's not going to understand how life works. If the parents dosent spank them early on, then later on they will get spanked by the police and I would say their version of spanking is arguably far worse than any parents.

On the other side of the coin, there is a fine line between reasonable corporal punishment and outright abuse.

Maybe I'm missing something, but ever since parents stop disciplining their children through corporal means, kids seem to have gotten a lot worse and far more degraded and psychotic because they never learned the value of corporal discipline. It's what we still do as a society overall. The tool belt of a police officer is not meant for a timeout. It's designed to inflict harm and brute force on people.

If parents dont instill this fact into their kids, then the authorities will when those kids soon-to-be adults realize the hard way that life does not revolve around them.

I honestly can't say I support or condem corporal punishment.

 

[Eddi]

Neither of my parents ever hit me or anything like that and I turned out OK

 

[epronovost]

Maybe I'm missing something, but ever since parents stop disciplining their children through corporal means, kids seem to have gotten a lot worse and far more degraded and psychotic because they never learned the value of corporal discipline. It's what we still do as a society overall. The tool belt of a police officer is not meant for a timeout. It's designed to inflict harm and brute force on people.

What you are missing is data. Since spanking has fallen out of fashion school attendance has increased and crime went down seriously. It's also good to note that the police itself isn't bound to enforce law and order through brute force and causing harm, most of the police's job imply talking and reasonning often with drunk and handicaped people. During that same period, good police forces have started to add more and more non-violent strings to their bow. What children need isn't "discipline" or "fear" or "limits". What children need is moral reasonning skills. Your discipline method should seek to enforce and improve children's moral reasonning. Discipline isn't something that a parent should do when his or her child behve badly, but also something that a parent must do when a child behave well. Children, especially young children, take much better to reinforcement than punishment.

 

[ChristineM]

.


"Christian blogger Lori Alexander has a long history of saying the worst possible thing in every situation, but this week, a few screenshots began circulating of comments she made several months ago in which she describes smacking her children.

She seems to delight in telling other mothers how and how long to hit their kids.

In one case, she talks about hitting her kid for four straight hours. (In that screenshot, I’m assuming she means “spank” instead of “spark.”)

In another, she says “it has to hurt” or else they won’t learn their lesson.

In yet another, she claims to use a “foot-long strap.”

There’s a word for this and it’s not “discipline.”

It’s “abuse.”

It’s the sort of “train up a child” thinking that’s popular in fundamentalist Christian circles. The idea is that your children must fear you in order to grow up healthy, therefore hitting them (no matter how delicately that’s described) is the best parenting tool available. But realize these are people who grew up to believe hitting their kids is okay. They’re deranged. They’re living proof of how that method fails.

Alexander has now come out with a video attempting to defend herself. The lies begin right in the title: “NO, We Did NOT Abuse Our Children.”

​

In part of the video, she claims she “misspoke” about hitting her kid for four straight hours… before later saying it may have been a four-hour cycle of spanking, then the kid still not obeying, then spanking again, etc.

Which doesn’t help her case.

She eventually summarizes her views:

… if you asked any of our children if they were abused, they would say not in any way, because we loved our children. We’re not abusive. We’re not mean. We’re not mean or unkind parents in any way. We believe in God. We believe that His ways work, and spanking has been around for generations and generations. It’s legal in every single state. And for a reason: It works!
I just wanted to clear that up. We’re not abusive parents. We loved our children deeply. We wanted the best for them. We wanted them to grow up to be disciplined adults.
​

All of that is the same justification you’ll hear from men who abuse their wives. They’re not abusive. They just wanted to fix a problem. They love their partner…

Of course we never hear from the children themselves in this video. Only the abuser. But even if the children say they’re fine, it wouldn’t justify the method. Hitting your kids is abuse. In this case, Alexander uses Christianity to defend her cruelty. And if your religion can provide a cover for violence, then your religion is part of the problem."
source​

And don't forget, "a 'rod' works much better than a hand." So, how about a show of hands out there: Hurting your child is the best way to discipline them. ..or..

.

​

I was under the assumption that child abuse was illegal in the US

 

[LittleLowlife]

.


"Christian blogger Lori Alexander has a long history of saying the worst possible thing in every situation, but this week, a few screenshots began circulating of comments she made several months ago in which she describes smacking her children.

She seems to delight in telling other mothers how and how long to hit their kids.

In one case, she talks about hitting her kid for four straight hours. (In that screenshot, I’m assuming she means “spank” instead of “spark.”)

In another, she says “it has to hurt” or else they won’t learn their lesson.

In yet another, she claims to use a “foot-long strap.”

There’s a word for this and it’s not “discipline.”

It’s “abuse.”

It’s the sort of “train up a child” thinking that’s popular in fundamentalist Christian circles. The idea is that your children must fear you in order to grow up healthy, therefore hitting them (no matter how delicately that’s described) is the best parenting tool available. But realize these are people who grew up to believe hitting their kids is okay. They’re deranged. They’re living proof of how that method fails.

Alexander has now come out with a video attempting to defend herself. The lies begin right in the title: “NO, We Did NOT Abuse Our Children.”

​

In part of the video, she claims she “misspoke” about hitting her kid for four straight hours… before later saying it may have been a four-hour cycle of spanking, then the kid still not obeying, then spanking again, etc.

Which doesn’t help her case.

She eventually summarizes her views:

… if you asked any of our children if they were abused, they would say not in any way, because we loved our children. We’re not abusive. We’re not mean. We’re not mean or unkind parents in any way. We believe in God. We believe that His ways work, and spanking has been around for generations and generations. It’s legal in every single state. And for a reason: It works!
I just wanted to clear that up. We’re not abusive parents. We loved our children deeply. We wanted the best for them. We wanted them to grow up to be disciplined adults.
​

All of that is the same justification you’ll hear from men who abuse their wives. They’re not abusive. They just wanted to fix a problem. They love their partner…

Of course we never hear from the children themselves in this video. Only the abuser. But even if the children say they’re fine, it wouldn’t justify the method. Hitting your kids is abuse. In this case, Alexander uses Christianity to defend her cruelty. And if your religion can provide a cover for violence, then your religion is part of the problem."
source​

And don't forget, "a 'rod' works much better than a hand." So, how about a show of hands out there: Hurting your child is the best way to discipline them. ..or..

.

​

Fat no from me. It'll make kids listen to you sure but out of fear, not respect.

 

[Twilight Hue]

I was under the assumption that child abuse was illegal in the US

It is illegal and always was. There's a huge difference between a red fanny and broken bones and bruises.

 

[Skwim]

.

On occasion I was spanked, but not hard. It worked. As I recall, whatever I did I never did again.

.

 

[SomeRandom]

I'm mixed on the subject.

If you don't spank a kid he's not going to understand how life works. If the parents dosent spank them early on, then later on they will get spanked by the police and I would say their version of spanking is arguably far worse than any parents.

On the other side of the coin, there is a fine line between reasonable corporal punishment and outright abuse.

Maybe I'm missing something, but ever since parents stop disciplining their children through corporal means, kids seem to have gotten a lot worse and far more degraded and psychotic because they never learned the value of corporal discipline. It's what we still do as a society overall. The tool belt of a police officer is not meant for a timeout. It's designed to inflict harm and brute force on people.

If parents dont instill this fact into their kids, then the authorities will when those kids soon-to-be adults realize the hard way that life does not revolve around them.

I honestly can't say I support or condem corporal punishment.

People have been decrying youth as more rebellious and crazy since Plato. I think it’s called getting old, my friend.
I mean if the kid is too young to reason with, a slight tap on the hand to discourage certain behaviour, I could see myself turning a blind eye to.
Like whatever. I think positive reinforcement is better, but I also won’t immediately call child services if I see that either.

My father came up under the generation of the real old school Colonial British system. So he got outright flogged as a kid.
It just made him resent authority and disgusted with the system. To the point where he even ended up in jail. Though he was apparently good friends with his parole officer for years afterwards so I mean lol

He outright refused to lay a finger on me ever. I arguably turned out more obedient then he was. Though I did inherent many mischievous traits.

 

[Heyo]

It is illegal and always was. There's a huge difference between a red fanny and broken bones and bruises.

And there is a huge difference between what an average US citizen recognizes as abuse and what is seen as abuse in Europe.
We see children as individual persons with all human rights, including the right to bodily autonomy and protection from harm. In the US a child is practically a property of the parents.

 

[dianaiad]

I'm torn.

On one hand, I utterly disagree with this woman (four HOURS?)

On the other...I've only been spanked twice in my life. Once was after my mother told me not to run into the road and I laughed at her...and ran into the road in front of an oncoming car. The neighbor's big black dog ran after me and yanked me out of the way of the car. (I was afraid of big black dogs for years...but not of cars...go figure..) My mother turned me over her knee and spanked me, letting me know that yes, when she told me something, she MEANT it, and if I didn't pay attention there would be bad consequences.

The next time was when I looked up at my Dad after he told me to do something....and I said 'I don't have to!"

Er, yes I did. It's the first and only time HE spanked me. I remembered it. Still do.

I raised my own five kids in the same way. I think I spanked three of them once or twice, and two of them not at all. They all remember it vividly...the what, where, and most importantly, the WHY. They never repeated the offense.

So my opinion is this: spanking is an option; a last ditch, only to be used if nothing else works, when the kid's life is at stake if he doesn't get the message sort of thing.....like when the kid decides to run into the street after being told not to.

Not to be used lightly, but to make an impression NOTHING else will make...and to use it so seldom that when it IS used, the kid remembers it. As I do.

And no, I never 'ran into the street' after Mom told me not to, again. OR touched the stove. OR went near the fence on the cliff. OR tried reaching through the bars at the zoo. Nor have I EVER told my Dad 'I don't have to." I've argued with him, and presented what I thought was an air tight case, but at the end of it, what Dad told me, stuck, if I couldn't legitimately change his mind on something.

So...hmnn.

 

[dianaiad]

And there is a huge difference between what an average US citizen recognizes as abuse and what is seen as abuse in Europe.
We see children as individual persons with all human rights, including the right to bodily autonomy and protection from harm. In the US a child is practically a property of the parents.

Oh, that's baloney. I've BEEN there. You are all wet as to the different attitudes. I've also read the books and seen the rules about corporal punishment in schools. So go peddle your hatred for all things American somewhere else.

 

[Nakosis]

I was under the assumption that child abuse was illegal in the US

Generally speaking, if you spank your child it is not child abuse. However, there are caveats which you should understand. First, disciplining a child by spanking must fall into what is considered “reasonable discipline.” This is determined by two factors:


It is crucial to know when you have crossed the line between spanking and child abuse.

1. If the punishment was warranted; and
2. If the punishment is considered excessive under the circumstances.

Spanking your child with an object other than your hand is also legal, but it must not be excessive in relation to the circumstances which led to the punishment.

Are You Violating California Law If You Spank Your Child?
I gets to beat my kid with a belt.

 

[Evangelicalhumanist]

Ever watch a young kid being taken out of a restaurant by Daddy for a bit of a timeout when needed? I have. Daddy, in this case, is a very good friend, father of two of my favourite children on earth, and they are both (at 7 and 4) extremely well-behaved. They've never been hit by their parents, but they have been told when they are misbehaving -- and taken aside for a time if that wasn't enough to change the behaviour.

This past December, my partner and I joined the family (including dad's parents) for a nice lunch -- the problem was, nobody remembered to make a reservation. So, we had a 45 minute wait, which with 2 young kids is kind of brutal. Guess what? They've been well brought up to know what's right and wrong -- and they were perfect!

Kids want approval more than most of us can imagine -- it helps them to establish who they are, and who they want to be. You don't need to physically hurt them -- you need to let them know what you approve of and what you don't. Believe me, they will respond.

 

[Skwim]

And there is a huge difference between what an average US citizen recognizes as abuse and what is seen as abuse in Europe.
We see children as individual persons with all human rights, including the right to bodily autonomy and protection from harm. In the US a child is practically a property of the parents.

Yup, and in a sense it's certainly a shame of the USA. However, despite the banning corporal punishment of children we still don't know what goes on behind closed doors. So as nice as what is considered abuse in Europe and elsewhere may be, we have no idea if it translates into any actual behavioral differences in parents. For all anyone knows spankings, beatings, and whatnot may be going on in European homes just as frequently as they are in the USA.

.

 

[Saint Frankenstein]

That woman is deranged. Spankoh is abusive enough (if you're not allowed to hit an adult when they make you mad, you shouldn't be allowed to do it to children), but she goes beyond even that and beats the **** out of her kids. I was beaten with a belt many times as a kid. I still hate my father, partially because of that (I have many reasons to hate him).

 

[shmogie]

Its the best way to assure another messed up kid turned loose on society.

Kids from my generation were spanked as a method of discipline. Teachers in jr. hi had paddles we made in wood shop, we got swats for acting out.

We weren't messed up kids.

I never spanked my children, feeling I could devise more memorable behavior correctors, yet I don't think an occaissonal swat on the butt damaged any kid.