Earl of Oxford farts before the queen

[Spiderman]

"This Earl of Oxford, making of his low obeisance to Queen Elizabeth, happened to let a Fart, at which he was so abashed and ashamed that he went to Travel [for] 7 years. On his return the Queen welcomed him home, and said, 'My Lord, I had forgot the Fart'."
Edward de Vere, 17th Earl of Oxford - Wikiquote

That said, the current Queen of England farted in public and blamed it on a nearby horse , eyewitnesses say.

Do you think people will fart in heaven? I wonder if God farts? Jesus certainly did, ( me thinks ), says I.

 

[Quagmire]

Does God fart? Sure, ever heard of the Big Bang?

 

[Spiderman]

I bet people have killed themselves for farting around certain people. I know of people who committed suicide for reasons that are equally strange and silly things to die for.

My brother purposely farted around a girl he was in love with. He said he did it to " break the ice" lol

 

[Spiderman]

Does God fart? Sure, ever heard of the Big Bang?

I thought that was an orgasm?

 

[Quagmire]

I thought that was an orgasm?

Nah, it was what happened after God ate The Big Burrito.

 

[Spiderman]

The worst gas that I ever had was when I was in the hospital being fed by a tube going into my stomach. I have no clue what the hell they were feeding mean, but it made me feel extremely sorry for the nurses aid who had to be in the room with me.

It was just one fart after the other. Just terrible!

 

[Spiderman]

Has anyone here ever farted and blamed it on someone else? When I was a kid, in front of a group of people I denied the abomination, but don't think I have ever blamed it on someone else

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Nah, it was what happened after God ate The Big Burrito.

I thought it was a chimmichanga.

*peers suspiciously*

Should we have a schism?

 

[Spiderman]

A fart is an emission of gas that escapes from the anus.

 

[Quagmire]

My tablet keeps screwing up my posts.

 

[Quagmire]

I thought it was a chimmichanga.

*peers suspiciously*

Should we have a schism?

Burn the heretic!!

No wait, Cover him in habanero peppers!!

 

[Quagmire]

My tablet keeps screwing up my posts.

It keeps replacing words with other words when I'm not looking.

 

[Quagmire]

It keeps replacing words with other words when I'm not looking.

And it keeps calling me Dave.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

Burn the heretic!!

No wait, Cover him in habanero peppers!!

See? Definitely schism-worthy. The true believers would have smothered me in jalapenos.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

And it keeps calling me Dave.

Hmm...my wife often calls me Dave...
You're not using my wife as a tablet, are you?

 

[Quagmire]

Hmm...my wife often calls me Dave...
You're not using my wife as a tablet, are you?

I don't think so, but I'm pretty sure the salesman lied about everything else so, maybe.

 

[lukethethird]

There's no way Jesus farted.

 

[Spiderman]

There's no way Jesus farted.

He experienced hunger and ate food but of course never farted