Neo Deist
Th.D. & D.Div. h.c.
The following is my opinion on the different types of women you should avoid. If a woman that you are dating starts to exhibit any of these signs, run for the hills! They will only cause you grief, stress and a desire to gtfo...
Note: some adult content is ahead. Reader advisory in effect.
1. The constant nagger. This is the woman that is always griping and complaining about everything under the sun. She is never happy, and nothing you do is ever good enough. She will go out of her way to find something to gripe about on a daily basis.
2. The hoarder. This is the woman that keeps everything that she ever buys, receives, finds or inherits. She will have junk stacked up in every room of the house. You have to follow little trails through the middle of the rooms in order to move around.
3. The non-cleaner. This is the woman that is not a hoarder, but refuses to clean anything up unless absolutely necessary. She will have dishes piled up in the sink and overflowing down the counter top, dirty clothes piled up on the floor, hair/dust/makeup all over the bathroom sink, and junk laying on the couch thus preventing you from sitting down anywhere but on the floor.
4. The chastity belt. This one is iffy, but in my experience I like to take things for a "test drive" before I commit a large portion of my life to it. I say iffy, because some women prefer to wait until marriage, and that is fine; I can respect that. However, what if she just absolutely is a dead fish in bed? You'll regret it.
5. The dead fish. This is the woman that just lays there, silent and not moving, during sex. You have to occasionally feel for a pulse on her or stop and listen for her breathing. B-O-R-I-N-G.
6. The missionary. This is the woman that always wants sex in the "missionary position" and doesn't really offer it any other way. No doggie, cowgirl or anything. B-O-R-I-N-G.
7. The freak nasty. While running into one of these women occasionally can be exciting, you'll quickly grow tired of her wearing a strap on and ramming you like a jail cell *****. She is good for a drunken one night stand, but leave it there...and never tell anyone.
8. The high maintenance capital B. This is the type of woman that has such high demands, that she will drive you insane if you try to keep up. Always wants to eat at the fanciest restaurants (you pickup the check), always takes 3 hours to get ready, can't have a hair out of place (so no convertible), and her face looks painted on 24/7. She looks nice for arm candy, but let someone else struggle through life with one of these.
9. The gold digger. If you are not wealthy and semi-GQ, you can forget it. This woman only wants one thing: easy street. If you qualify, make sure to get a prenup before saying "I do." Of course the moment you mention a prenup, she will probably let her bipolar disorder show through while she chases you with a large kitchen knife.
10. The four time divorced baggage claim. This is the woman that has so much extra "baggage" that you wonder how in the hell she even got that way in the first place. Four divorces in 10 years...obviously something isn't right. She will put up a good front and tell you a sad story about how she has been mistreated her entire life, but the truth is she is just cray-cray.
Finding Ms. Right is a daunting task. You want someone that is intelligent and fun, compassionate but not a cheater, honest but full of good surprises, fulfilling in bed, knows how to take care of herself but lets you pamper her, will cook and clean, and does not spend half the day with increased blood pressure because she is pissed off about something from three weeks ago.
Note: some adult content is ahead. Reader advisory in effect.
1. The constant nagger. This is the woman that is always griping and complaining about everything under the sun. She is never happy, and nothing you do is ever good enough. She will go out of her way to find something to gripe about on a daily basis.
2. The hoarder. This is the woman that keeps everything that she ever buys, receives, finds or inherits. She will have junk stacked up in every room of the house. You have to follow little trails through the middle of the rooms in order to move around.
3. The non-cleaner. This is the woman that is not a hoarder, but refuses to clean anything up unless absolutely necessary. She will have dishes piled up in the sink and overflowing down the counter top, dirty clothes piled up on the floor, hair/dust/makeup all over the bathroom sink, and junk laying on the couch thus preventing you from sitting down anywhere but on the floor.
4. The chastity belt. This one is iffy, but in my experience I like to take things for a "test drive" before I commit a large portion of my life to it. I say iffy, because some women prefer to wait until marriage, and that is fine; I can respect that. However, what if she just absolutely is a dead fish in bed? You'll regret it.
5. The dead fish. This is the woman that just lays there, silent and not moving, during sex. You have to occasionally feel for a pulse on her or stop and listen for her breathing. B-O-R-I-N-G.
6. The missionary. This is the woman that always wants sex in the "missionary position" and doesn't really offer it any other way. No doggie, cowgirl or anything. B-O-R-I-N-G.
7. The freak nasty. While running into one of these women occasionally can be exciting, you'll quickly grow tired of her wearing a strap on and ramming you like a jail cell *****. She is good for a drunken one night stand, but leave it there...and never tell anyone.
8. The high maintenance capital B. This is the type of woman that has such high demands, that she will drive you insane if you try to keep up. Always wants to eat at the fanciest restaurants (you pickup the check), always takes 3 hours to get ready, can't have a hair out of place (so no convertible), and her face looks painted on 24/7. She looks nice for arm candy, but let someone else struggle through life with one of these.
9. The gold digger. If you are not wealthy and semi-GQ, you can forget it. This woman only wants one thing: easy street. If you qualify, make sure to get a prenup before saying "I do." Of course the moment you mention a prenup, she will probably let her bipolar disorder show through while she chases you with a large kitchen knife.
10. The four time divorced baggage claim. This is the woman that has so much extra "baggage" that you wonder how in the hell she even got that way in the first place. Four divorces in 10 years...obviously something isn't right. She will put up a good front and tell you a sad story about how she has been mistreated her entire life, but the truth is she is just cray-cray.
Finding Ms. Right is a daunting task. You want someone that is intelligent and fun, compassionate but not a cheater, honest but full of good surprises, fulfilling in bed, knows how to take care of herself but lets you pamper her, will cook and clean, and does not spend half the day with increased blood pressure because she is pissed off about something from three weeks ago.
