Recently I think I've been questioning some things in life.
What it means to be feminine in both my cultures. Where I fit into the spectrum and how that has affected the way I see things.
I've been growing bored and tired of the whole "Feminist vs Antis, MRAs whoever the hell" scene.
It seems more rooted in hyperbolic American politics and I'm not even interested in my own country's politics. (I mean, I vote for the Pirate Party and the Party Party simply cos they sound cool.)
So what attracted me to that "scene" in the first place? Well I suppose I used to watch Thunderf00t in High School because his science videos were interesting and accessible. Even his series attacking creationists taught me a lot of Biology.
But really, I think it was because I found the "new brand" of Feminist critics confusing and sometimes frustrating. They didn't seem to speak to my concerns. But did my own feelings of inadequate femininity cause me to lash out at them? Or was I frustrated at what I perceived as "ungrateful?"
Don't get me wrong, my own family accept me for who I am and I do what I want. But that's not to say there's not the expectations of both my cultures as a female weighing upon me.
According to Western ideas, I am kind of acceptably tom boyish. I wear "guy" clothes, often with a bit of a geeky inclination and no one really cares.
According to my own background I am too Western and even somewhat masculine. According to the ideals of the sexes and gossiping disapproving old aunties, I am not nearly feminine enough. I am not particularly academically inclined right now, so already I fail. I don't even like to wear the Salwar (pants and top) let alone a sari. I don't wear make up, I hang out "inappropriately" with boys and at the ripe old age of 20 something, I'm shockingly not even engaged to anyone (oh the scandal!)
Yeah, been politely declining proposals for prospective suitors since I was about 16/17. Yay! Tradition!
Western Ideals were always easier for me to navigate around. Yeah you got some judgment from some people, sure. But it always seemed subtle enough for me to laugh off.
Eastern Ideals I can laugh off as outdated most of the time. Mainly because I'm often with other Westerners, so there's far more of my girlfriends who do and think like I do.
But when I venture into the "Eastern" community, even among my fellow Westernized friends, it's harder to ignore that I am not as "feminine" as they are. Or that I am not as great a daughter or woman as I should be.
To my young mind, the battle cry of "Modern" Feminists seemed a bit..........whiny. Like as in a "how do they not know how great they have it?" kind of way.
Well that was my random angsty ramble. Do with that what you will.
What it means to be feminine in both my cultures. Where I fit into the spectrum and how that has affected the way I see things.
I've been growing bored and tired of the whole "Feminist vs Antis, MRAs whoever the hell" scene.
It seems more rooted in hyperbolic American politics and I'm not even interested in my own country's politics. (I mean, I vote for the Pirate Party and the Party Party simply cos they sound cool.)
So what attracted me to that "scene" in the first place? Well I suppose I used to watch Thunderf00t in High School because his science videos were interesting and accessible. Even his series attacking creationists taught me a lot of Biology.
But really, I think it was because I found the "new brand" of Feminist critics confusing and sometimes frustrating. They didn't seem to speak to my concerns. But did my own feelings of inadequate femininity cause me to lash out at them? Or was I frustrated at what I perceived as "ungrateful?"
Don't get me wrong, my own family accept me for who I am and I do what I want. But that's not to say there's not the expectations of both my cultures as a female weighing upon me.
According to Western ideas, I am kind of acceptably tom boyish. I wear "guy" clothes, often with a bit of a geeky inclination and no one really cares.
According to my own background I am too Western and even somewhat masculine. According to the ideals of the sexes and gossiping disapproving old aunties, I am not nearly feminine enough. I am not particularly academically inclined right now, so already I fail. I don't even like to wear the Salwar (pants and top) let alone a sari. I don't wear make up, I hang out "inappropriately" with boys and at the ripe old age of 20 something, I'm shockingly not even engaged to anyone (oh the scandal!)
Yeah, been politely declining proposals for prospective suitors since I was about 16/17. Yay! Tradition!
Western Ideals were always easier for me to navigate around. Yeah you got some judgment from some people, sure. But it always seemed subtle enough for me to laugh off.
Eastern Ideals I can laugh off as outdated most of the time. Mainly because I'm often with other Westerners, so there's far more of my girlfriends who do and think like I do.
But when I venture into the "Eastern" community, even among my fellow Westernized friends, it's harder to ignore that I am not as "feminine" as they are. Or that I am not as great a daughter or woman as I should be.
To my young mind, the battle cry of "Modern" Feminists seemed a bit..........whiny. Like as in a "how do they not know how great they have it?" kind of way.
Well that was my random angsty ramble. Do with that what you will.