A deacon from the cathedral I'm a member of came by to give my mom Communion because she's very sick with cancer and can't make it to church.
He's an elderly guy and kind of conservative, as most people involved in my parish seem to be. It feels that he's always viewed me as somewhat of a freak, because of my appearance and such. I have a shaved head and facial piercings and I don't have fancy clothes. I haven't been to Mass in a long time because I suffer from severe depression and social anxiety disorder, which makes it very hard for me to go anywhere and be around people. But he basically said that I don't have a reason not to go to church. I also haven't been to Confession in 6 years, because it terrifies me. He doesn't understand.
He basically refused to give me Communion. He made that pretty clear. He did hesitantly ask if I wanted to receive it, but I didn't take it because I didn't want to offend him and he was making me feel like garbage, anyway. He said he would give me a "good blessing", but he left without giving me any blessing.
I'm also a female to male transsexual and I tried to keep that to myself as much as possible. I know those people don't understand it and my Godmother rejected me years ago over it and suggested I go to Courage, when transsexualism has nothing to do with homosexuality! Anyway, I can no longer hide it because I'm on testosterone therapy and it's caused obvious changes to my features and my voice. So he was kinda confused and questioned me about it. He thought I was someone else. Now he's going to go and tell everyone at the parish about it.
He also actually asked how my mom and I are related! We've been going to that parish for years! People seem to have a problem believing that I'm my mom's child because I'm mixed black/white and she's white. One guy at the parish thought we were lesbian lovers!
I love the beauty of that cathedral and the beauty of the liturgy, but I never felt like I really belonged because of how the people treat me. One friend of mine, who is a gay man, ended up leaving the Church because they rejected him due to him being gay. He was really devout and loved his faith very much. He was really involved with the parish, as an altar server and doing other things. He brought a lot of his friends in with him, too. But guess what? They're all gone now, because people's judgmental and negative attitudes have driven them away. My friend ended up leaving Christianity all together because of the way he was treated. They judge you because of how you look, because you're LGB and/or T, because you have mental health issues (which aren't taken seriously), etc.
I used to love going to Mass and I used to be very devout. Now I have little to no desire to go to Mass, because of how I am treated. I'm viewed with suspicion and as if I don't belong there. I'm tired of being viewed as a freak and a sinner (which I am, but apparently my sins are much worse than the sins of the "normal" people).
So I'd rather just stay home and love God and Christ in my heart. Because "God's people" are driving me away, and it hurts. I do not feel like I'm part of a community and I feel like I don't belong. Fine. They'll just earn themselves yet another empty space in the pews. They do it to themselves. They need to think long and hard about why it's mostly elderly people in the pews and why the pews are mostly empty, except for Christmas and Easter, when people just show up for appearance's sake and not because they actually care all that much about it.
He's an elderly guy and kind of conservative, as most people involved in my parish seem to be. It feels that he's always viewed me as somewhat of a freak, because of my appearance and such. I have a shaved head and facial piercings and I don't have fancy clothes. I haven't been to Mass in a long time because I suffer from severe depression and social anxiety disorder, which makes it very hard for me to go anywhere and be around people. But he basically said that I don't have a reason not to go to church. I also haven't been to Confession in 6 years, because it terrifies me. He doesn't understand.
He basically refused to give me Communion. He made that pretty clear. He did hesitantly ask if I wanted to receive it, but I didn't take it because I didn't want to offend him and he was making me feel like garbage, anyway. He said he would give me a "good blessing", but he left without giving me any blessing.
I'm also a female to male transsexual and I tried to keep that to myself as much as possible. I know those people don't understand it and my Godmother rejected me years ago over it and suggested I go to Courage, when transsexualism has nothing to do with homosexuality! Anyway, I can no longer hide it because I'm on testosterone therapy and it's caused obvious changes to my features and my voice. So he was kinda confused and questioned me about it. He thought I was someone else. Now he's going to go and tell everyone at the parish about it.
He also actually asked how my mom and I are related! We've been going to that parish for years! People seem to have a problem believing that I'm my mom's child because I'm mixed black/white and she's white. One guy at the parish thought we were lesbian lovers!
I love the beauty of that cathedral and the beauty of the liturgy, but I never felt like I really belonged because of how the people treat me. One friend of mine, who is a gay man, ended up leaving the Church because they rejected him due to him being gay. He was really devout and loved his faith very much. He was really involved with the parish, as an altar server and doing other things. He brought a lot of his friends in with him, too. But guess what? They're all gone now, because people's judgmental and negative attitudes have driven them away. My friend ended up leaving Christianity all together because of the way he was treated. They judge you because of how you look, because you're LGB and/or T, because you have mental health issues (which aren't taken seriously), etc.
I used to love going to Mass and I used to be very devout. Now I have little to no desire to go to Mass, because of how I am treated. I'm viewed with suspicion and as if I don't belong there. I'm tired of being viewed as a freak and a sinner (which I am, but apparently my sins are much worse than the sins of the "normal" people).
So I'd rather just stay home and love God and Christ in my heart. Because "God's people" are driving me away, and it hurts. I do not feel like I'm part of a community and I feel like I don't belong. Fine. They'll just earn themselves yet another empty space in the pews. They do it to themselves. They need to think long and hard about why it's mostly elderly people in the pews and why the pews are mostly empty, except for Christmas and Easter, when people just show up for appearance's sake and not because they actually care all that much about it.
Last edited:
