Bill Cosby.....You Know You Wanna Discuss It.

[Revoltingest]

Primary drive to rape is control and power in a violent manner.
The sexual drive is ancillary.
I've said this all along. I prefer to place more importance in the primary drive and less importance in the sexual drive.

Tis above my pay grade to say which predominates. I simply note both, & that it's important to deal with both. But we're on the same page.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Wot! ??
Do you mean to tell me that you have been promoting risk-reduction and crime-prevention? That has to be the most misogynistic and bigoted theme on RF this afternoon, Sir!

But I like it. I like 'risk-reduction' in any area of human life or endeavour.

What more can targets do in addition to the numerous ways that we already re-arrance our lives to reduce the risk? How many times have we gone over and over with this, that victims already go through the motions to walk assertively, learn self-defense, lock the car door when entering, look look look for signs everywhere....

It's this reality that when faced with a sexual assault case, that people assume that people who are assaulted were too stupid to not take precautions. And when the conversation turns to focus more on that and not the broken system that we have, it's frustrating that it's assumed that rapists ought to be held accountable when conversations like this would rather keep telling survivors what they could have done differently.

Guess what....we already do a lot more than others do. What do YOU do to prevent yourself from being sexually assaulted?

It isn't bigoted or misandrist to suggest that rapists need to be held more accountable.

 

[Revoltingest]

I can't answer for OldCoot....er, OldBadger, but I take precautions against assault (although I cannot imagine sexual assault in my case). Depending upon circumstances, I'll methodically scan my surroundings looking for suspicious characters, avoid rounding blind corners too closely, & at times have a weapon at the ready (but concealed). Should I have to? No. Is it worth it. A couple times it was.

One of the greatest self defense techniques is controlling a would-be malefactor's anger & sense of threat. On occasion, I've had to defuse bruised egos of those bent on violence. Sitting down is particularly effective against enraged silverback types who are ready for a fight. To be so obviously calm & unthreatening is to remove their perception of a threat.
Again, there is no one-size-fits all approach to minimizing risk.

 

[savagewind]

And yer charity is what keeps me go'n.
(Some might say that means yer to blame.)

I don't know if forum would be so good with no mascot.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I can't answer for OldCoot....er, OldBadger, but I take precautions against assault (although I cannot imagine sexual assault in my case). Depending upon circumstances, I'll methodically scan my surroundings looking for suspicious characters, avoid rounding blind corners too closely, & at times have a weapon at the ready (but concealed). Should I have to? No. Is it worth it. A couple times it was.

One of the greatest self defense techniques is controlling a would-be malefactor's anger & sense of threat. On occasion, I've had to defuse bruised egos of those bent on violence. Sitting down is particularly effective against enraged silverback types who are ready for a fight. To be so obviously calm & unthreatening is to remove their perception of a threat.
Again, there is no one-size-fits all approach to minimizing risk.

First, let Badger speak for himself.

Second, is your way of scanning for possible perpetrators unique? Or is that a good idea for everybody?

Third, to be so smug about the tone (you ought to be controlling that tone, better, if the seriousness of the situation is highlighted) about how sexual assault targets need to do better when one doesn't even walk in a targets shoes is super uncool.

I asked Badger, who thinks he knows oh so much about how to reduce risk of sexual assault, what he does to reduce his own risk of being raped.

 

[Robert.Evans]

Dick Cheney doesn't post here. I am sure of it.

haha.... now I see! They were not on before... it was more subtle. Subtel enough to fool an old fool like me for a moment anyway

 

[Revoltingest]

First, let Badger speak for himself.

Uh....that's what I said in my opening disclaimer.

Second, is your way of scanning for possible perpetrators unique? Or is that a good idea for everybody?

Like all advice, it's good for whoever finds it useful.

Third, to be so smug about the tone (you ought to be controlling that tone, better, if the seriousness of the situation is highlighted) about how sexual assault targets need to do better when one doesn't even walk in a targets shoes is super uncool.

"Smug"? WTF? (Pardon me French.)

I asked Badger, who thinks he knows oh so much about how to reduce risk of sexual assault, what he does to reduce his own risk of being raped.

I wanted to address the question.
You can't stop me...neener neener neeeeener!

 

[Robert.Evans]

Primary drive to rape is control and power in a violent manner.

The sexual drive is ancillary.

I've said this all along. I prefer to place more importance in the primary drive and less importance in the sexual drive.

Not all rape is violent madam

 

[Revoltingest]

Not all rape is violent madam

Rape by fraud is a good example.
New Jersey lawmaker introduces “sexual assault by fraud” bill - Salon.com

 

[Robert.Evans]

It isn't bigoted or misandrist to suggest that rapists need to be held more accountable.

I agree, I think most would

 

[Robert.Evans]

Rape by fraud is a good example.
New Jersey lawmaker introduces “sexual assault by fraud” bill - Salon.com

Interesting. If i read it correctly, someone slept with someone as a girlfriend, just to get her money. I don't see how that is rape. I think it stupid to say it is. They would both be in agreement, and no doubt he would have some feelings for her, however little, or or the wrong kind. But the situation is bad that is fair to say. Does this mean that the man should be chekced out by the family first, the old way, to see it he is a suitable suitor?

We back to freedoms again I feel.

What of a woman marrying a man for his money. Should she be arrested. There would not be many left perhaps. Not so bad now, but still golddiggers out there.

 

[Revoltingest]

Interesting. If i read it correctly, someone slept with someone as a girlfriend, just to get her money.

The definition of "rape" evolves. Some definitions are technical & strained (eg, 18 year old boinks a 17 year old in consensual sex). The proposed New Jersey law seems along these lines, but has some merit. But I oppose lumping all illegal sexual activity under the singular broad label of "rape", even with the prefix "statuatory".

 

[savagewind]

The definition of rape seems to be sex by force or duress. To define it by fraud seems a stretch.

 

[MysticSang'ha]

Uh....that's what I said in my opening disclaimer.
Like all advice, it's good for whoever finds it useful.

It isn't specific, though. It's a situational awareness that is at it's most basic. It doesn't address the specific precautions that are advised to women to avoid sexual assault.

"Smug"? WTF? (Pardon me French.)

Yes, he was smug. Read it again and try to tell me his tone wasn't condescending toward those who call out victim blaming when it occurs. Or was it because he agreed with you?

I wanted to address the question.
You can't stop me...neener neener neeeeener!

Nope I can't. But also you can't stop me from calling you out when I specifically addressed badger for his tone and his remark.

 

[Robert.Evans]

It isn't specific, though. It's a situational awareness that is at it's most basic. It doesn't address the specific precautions that are advised to women to avoid sexual assault.
.

What about just not going certain places, or is that too easy?

 

[MysticSang'ha]

What about just not going certain places, or is that too easy?

I've already addressed that contention.

 

[oldbadger]

What more can targets do in addition to the numerous ways that we already re-arrance our lives to reduce the risk? How many times have we gone over and over with this, that victims already go through the motions to walk assertively, learn self-defense, lock the car door when entering, look look look for signs everywhere....

You give three examples of risk reduction. Pathetic paragraph. That victims go through the motions? Too late. Your attitude actually distracts people from listening to and reading up on simple advice and common sense. The common sense of risk reduction. You should have identified at least 20 examples of R/R to even come close to a responsible proposal.

It's this reality that when faced with a sexual assault case, that people assume that people who are assaulted were too stupid to not take precautions. And when the conversation turns to focus more on that and not the broken system that we have, it's frustrating that it's assumed that rapists ought to be held accountable when conversations like this would rather keep telling survivors what they could have done differently.

...people assume? No..... you presume..... Your whole para is just one complete negative towards good advice and education for greater safety. If you live in a country with what you consider to be a bust system, there's not much that I can do from mine to help it, but I'm rather specialised in risk assessment, so focus upon that, because I was a pro...

Guess what....we already do a lot more than others do. What do YOU do to prevent yourself from being sexually assaulted?

You do more than others? Doesn't look like it to me. Your gave three examples.

It isn't bigoted or misandrist to suggest that rapists need to be held more accountable.

Correct....... so write to your Governor about new legislation or whatever, but don't don't don't put people off from listening to good risk reduction advice.

This goes for murder, rape, grievous harm, kidnap, robbery, and all other risks.

 

[Revoltingest]

Yes, he was smug.

I mistakenly thought your post was about my being smug.

 

[Revoltingest]

The definition of rape seems to be sex by force or duress. To define it by fraud seems a stretch.

Here's a scenario which happened to someone Mrs Revolt knows: A gal was sexually assaulted while under anesthesia. There was no force, just trickery. I called it rape.

 

[savagewind]

Here's a scenario which happened to someone Mrs Revolt knows: A gal was sexually assaulted while under anesthesia. There was no force, just trickery. I called it rape.

That might be considered duress.