I've been participating a lot lately in Vajrayana conversations, and Buddhism in general, because of my interest in deity yoga and it seems I've been a dharmic syncretist all along, but primarily Hindu. The part that is scary and disconcerting is in bold underline.
It seems what I'm taking away from Vajrayana, because I don't know much about it, though it's not incompatible with Vaishnavism imo, is:
I'm especially intrigued by and attracted to this quote under Secrecy:
I often find myself in great emotional distress at the plight of the homeless; the eldery (especially those who are alone, ill, frail); the sick, especially children (I hate seeing the words 'child' and 'cancer' in the same sentence'); animals who are sick, injured, abandoned. Hot damn, I get upset when I see roadkill! I want to (no, I'm not going to say "... teach the world to sing in perfect harmony..." ... hey, I have to lighten this up), I want to just take all of them and... I don't know, make it all go away. But back to the initial issue of the "scariness", I don't understand the danger in the Deity Yoga, Symbolism and Secrecy aspects. Am I overthinking this (who, me? ). Feel free to say "yes".
Preliminary practices and approach to Vajrayāna is acknowledged to be the fastest method for attaining Buddhahood but for unqualified practitioners it can be dangerous.[22] To engage in it one must receive an appropriate initiation (also known as an "empowerment") from a lama who is fully qualified to give it. From the time one has resolved to accept such an initiation, the utmost sustained effort in guru devotion is essential.
Tibetan Buddhism - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
It seems what I'm taking away from Vajrayana, because I don't know much about it, though it's not incompatible with Vaishnavism imo, is:
Deity yoga
The most important aspect of the tantric path is to 'use the result as the Path'; which means that rather than placing full enlightenment as a goal far away in the future, one identifies with the indivisible three vajras that is, the enlightened body, speech and mind of a Buddha. The practitioner focusses on and identifies with the resultant buddha-form or 'meditation deity', the yidam (Tibetan) or (Sanskrit) 'ishtadevata'.
Symbolism
In order to achieve this self-identification with the yidam, much symbolism, ritual and visualization is used in Buddhist tantric techniques. Tantric techniques may initially appear to consist of ritualistic nonsense; however, it should only be practiced on the basis of a thorough understanding of Buddhist philosophy and strictly following the traditions.[2]
Secrecy
Secrecy is often a cornerstone of tantric Buddhism, simply to avoid harm to oneself and to others by practicing without proper guidance. Full explanation of tantric symbolism and the psychology of the practice is forbidden to the uninitiated, which can easily lead to misunderstanding and dismissal by those who have not been initiated:[2]
Tantra is limited to persons whose compassion is so great that they cannot bear to spend unnecessary time in attaining Buddhahood, as they want to be a supreme source of help and happiness for others quickly.[3]
I'm especially intrigued by and attracted to this quote under Secrecy:
...they want to be a supreme source of help and happiness for others quickly
I often find myself in great emotional distress at the plight of the homeless; the eldery (especially those who are alone, ill, frail); the sick, especially children (I hate seeing the words 'child' and 'cancer' in the same sentence'); animals who are sick, injured, abandoned. Hot damn, I get upset when I see roadkill! I want to (no, I'm not going to say "... teach the world to sing in perfect harmony..." ... hey, I have to lighten this up), I want to just take all of them and... I don't know, make it all go away. But back to the initial issue of the "scariness", I don't understand the danger in the Deity Yoga, Symbolism and Secrecy aspects. Am I overthinking this (who, me? ). Feel free to say "yes".