Why people do what other people tell them to do

[Clizby Wampuscat]

Exactly, that was her mistake. I am blaming her.
In fact the point of this thread is: why do so many people (like my friend) do what others tell them to do?

Probably different reasons. Loyalty, fear, frustration may be a few causes.

 

[Twilight Hue]

Doing what others tell you to do is a free choice. Your friend regretted her choice but it was her choice to make. I think using the word slavery is wrong here.

But there are plenty of bossy people out there that want to tell you what to do and think I agree.

I tell bossy people to screw off unless they have a better right hook or they pay my wages. ;0)

 

[Spice]

Exactly, that was her mistake. I am blaming her.
In fact the point of this thread is: why do so many people (like my friend) do what others tell them to do?

Lack of self-esteem. Fear of responsibility. Laziness. Habit. Mental illness. Social illness.

Experience. Love/concern. Decisiveness. Habit. Mental illness. Social illness.

Both sides, as with nearly all things of this world, are determined as a good thing or a bad thing according to degree.

 

[Spice]

What is freedom?

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose..."

Freedom is when you do what you want to do.

No. The word for that is selfish, irresponsible, or perhaps narcissistic.
Freedom is choice.

 

[bobhikes]

Seriously...why do people do what other people tell them to do?
And why are there so many bossy people who tell other people what they are supposed to do?

Thanks in advance for your answers

The simplest answers are:

1 thinking for yourself is work and many people are lazy

2 if some one else makes the decision then when it goes bad they are not to blame and can blame the decision maker.

 

[Altfish]

Seriously...why do people do what other people tell them to do?

I often do what other people tell me to do, and I've not lost my freedom.

Examples: -
"Please go to Platform 14 for the Liverpool train"
"Boil for 15 minutes"
"Buy a ticket before you board"
"Mark with a black 'X' against your chosen candidate"

 

[Estro Felino]

"Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose..."

No. The word for that is selfish, irresponsible, or perhaps narcissistic.
Freedom is choice.

One question: if I want to live on a desert island, because I love silence and tranquillity, does it mean I am irresponsible and narcissistic?

 

[Estro Felino]

Seeing clearly without the interference of filters.

Not possible.

Human beings are never truly "free".

Perfect. I don't understand what is the point of breeding, then.
It consists in creating new human beings that will be unfree, that is, they will be humiliated and exploited by bossy people.

So I am really free. Because I have decided not to have kids.
But people who have them...well...most of the times are not free to decide.

No, I might do what someone tells me to do because I agree with them.

Well...it depends.
There can be copycats who do all the things their best friend does.
Their best friend gets married? They get married.
Their best friend moves to another town? They move to that town.
Their best friend wears pink? They wear pink.

 

[Estro Felino]

I often do what other people tell me to do, and I've not lost my freedom.

Examples: -
"Please go to Platform 14 for the Liverpool train"
"Boil for 15 minutes"
"Buy a ticket before you board"
"Mark with a black 'X' against your chosen candidate"

Nobody forces you to take the train ...or to vote.

 

[Nakosis]

What is freedom?
Freedom is when you do what you want to do. When you are free to decide.
Slavery is when you do what other people tell you to do.

That is sad.
Despite millennia of evolution people are just disoriented and imitate others, or repeat others' actions, like copycats.
I think that creates a horrific, vicious cycle or errors, and errors.

I give you an example. A friend of mine had a baby at 40 just because her mother wanted to be a grannie, and tormented her untile she yielded to her desire.
And now my friend regretted that choice...and blames her mother.
Because she is less free.

Seriously...why do people do what other people tell them to do?
And why are there so many bossy people who tell other people what they are supposed to do?

Thanks in advance for your answers

Usually money.
Or in the case of your story acceptance.

 

[Stevicus]

There are people who violate other people's free will.
Like the wife tells her husband: "if we don't make a baby, I am going to divorce you".
And the husband is really, you know, nullified, his will is reduced to zero by her wife. Because her wife doesn't respect his will not to have kids.

That happens in every social and economic situation. Blackmailing.
Workplace, family, relations.

Well, he could always accept getting divorced. That might be the better option anyway, especially if his wife is going to blackmail him like that.

 

[Spice]

One question: if I want to live on a desert land, because I love silence and tranquillity, does it mean I am irresponsible and narcissistic?

As in all things, the answer is determined by degree and perspective. Are you still able to contribute and make your life worthwhile?

If you choose to live on a desert you still have to have sustenance. Someone must supply. Do they want to, or do they feel obligated?

Are your love ones worried and miserable because of your choice?

"No man is an island, no man lives alone."
(John Donne)

 

[Vinayaka]

There is also the factor of laziness. Why think when somebody else will think for you?

 

[Spice]

Nobody forces you to take the train ...or to vote.

Exactly! Freedom is choice with the consequences that go with.

 

[Estro Felino]

Well, he could always accept getting divorced. That might be the better option anyway, especially if his wife is going to blackmail him like that.

Exactly.
But people make the wrong decision under pressure.
If people respected other people, the world would be a better place.

 

[Estro Felino]

As in all things, the answer is determined by degree and perspective. Are you still able to contribute and make your life worthwhile?

If you choose to live on a desert you still have to have sustenance. Someone must supply. Do they want to, or do they feel obligated?

Are your love ones worried and miserable because of your choice?

"No man is an island, no man lives alone."
(John Donne)

I don't know if you have watched Cast Away with Tom Hanks.

The protagonist is a very self-absorbed man, who takes human relations for granted.
So many years on a desert island makes him understand he needs human contact.
He is so desperate for contact, that he talks to a ball. A sport ball.
He decided to quit the island because he was going crazy. He missed human contact, above all.

There are other people who listen to their own soul, and don't need others to feel alive.

 

[Spice]

I don't know if you have watched Cast Away with Tom Hanks.

The protagonist is a very self-absorbed man, who takes human relations for granted.
So many years on a desert island makes him understand he needs human contact.
He is so desperate for contact, that he talks to a ball. A sport ball.
He decided to quit the island because he was going crazy. He missed human contact, above all.

There are other people who listen to their own soul, and don't need others to feel alive.

No, I haven't watched Cast Away, but I have read Robinson Crusoe many times. Clearly both prove "alone" isn't necessarily a good thing, by choice or not.

In my nearly 70 years I've made many choices. It's always been nice to have those who care advise, but I'm one who learned early in life, at the end of the day, I'm responsible - advice or no.

Namaste

 

[Altfish]

Nobody forces you to take the train ...or to vote.

No, but they tell me what to do when I get there. eg I couldn't put a red circle

 

[setarcos]

I don't understand what is the point of breeding, then.

Instinct, pleasure, spiritual growth in living, and perpetuation of your essence into the future with expectations that your progeny will some how make what life you have to live a little less taxing overall.

It consists in creating new human beings that will be unfree, that is, they will be humiliated and exploited by bossy people.

I suspect one of the above becomes a powerful driving force. We are subject to subconscious influences such as instinct.
Not everyone to the same degree. My guess is, from what you've said, you don't feel a particularly strong drive to reproduce but do feel a compulsion to justify your position.
If I were to go religious on you I'd say that we can't know true freedom unless we know what it is to be enslaved. You cannot ascend if your already above where you wish to ascend to.

So I am really free. Because I have decided not to have kids.

Hardly. You think having kids is the only method of enslavement? For instance, not having kids might enslave you to your ignorance in what it means to parents that they have had children.
There are myriads of ways human beings are enslaved. I think, mostly, we enslave ourselves.

But people who have them...well...most of the times are not free to decide.

Not sure what you mean here?
I'll tell you one thing though. Watching how people behave...parks, restaurants, grocery stores etc. I sure wish some people would have decided not to have kids.

Well...it depends.
There can be copycats who do all the things their best friend does.
Their best friend gets married? They get married.
Their best friend moves to another town? They move to that town.
Their best friend wears pink? They wear pink.

Of course it depends. All circumstances are dependent for their development.
What you've described here is a person enslaved to themselves not enslaved by someone else.

 

[Heyo]

One question: if I want to live on a desert island, because I love silence and tranquillity, does it mean I am irresponsible and narcissistic?

Yes.

There are only a limited number of desert islands, and you just taking one for yourself is selfish.