I feel trapped between Christianity, Islam, and Atheism.

[JeremK]

I can see why you'd have trouble fitting religion into all of this.

And why would you hate yourself? because someone from a church who knows absolutely nothing about YOU thinks you're not worthy?

I have a self-hatred complex because I get very little positive reinforcement. I feel like a failure constantly. I have a 130 IQ, yet I act like an idiot. I don't fit in anywhere, and don't have any sense of community. I feel alone in a world filled with conflict and tragedy, and I want to punish myself for that. For not being good enough.

 

[JeremK]

This is all in your mind. Let go of it. It really sounds like abrahamic religions aren't for you, as they are making you feel terrible. I see no spiritual development in you. And you have a self-hated complex. You think this is God's work when its all you. God is existence knowledge and bliss itself. It's silly to think he hates you. What is this 'irredeemable sin' you speak of?

...I have such a massive fear of the Abrahamic Hell, though.

An eternal punishment for not following rules given by a somewhat tyrannical God. How is that just? I don't see how, yet I constantly feel reminded of it, as if it looms over me and will eventually capture me, torturing me for eternity.

When I was Catholic, the idea of this Hell was emphasized daily. More than love, more than anything.

The unforgivable sin, by the way, is blaspheme towards the Holy Spirit, meaning a full-on rejection of it... which at this point, I've likely already done.

 

[Oldsoul]

I have a self-hatred complex because I get very little positive reinforcement. I feel like a failure constantly. I have a 130 IQ, yet I act like an idiot. I don't fit in anywhere, and don't have any sense of community. I feel alone in a world filled with conflict and tragedy, and I want to punish myself for that. For not being good enough.

Wow!!
That's so much weight to carry..

What makes you happy?

 

[JeremK]

Wow!!
That's so much weight to carry..

What makes you happy?

Plenty of things. Acting, being with friends, succeeding, playing video games, and community service are just a few examples of this.

However, when I start to panic internally, which happens quite frequently, nothing can pacify me. Nothing can make me happy. I feel like I want to brutalize myself, and I feel like I deserve nothing but absolute pain.

 

[Terese]

...I have such a massive fear of the Abrahamic Hell, though.

An eternal punishment for not following rules given by a somewhat tyrannical God. How is that just? I don't see how, yet I constantly feel reminded of it, as if it looms over me and will eventually capture me, torturing me for eternity.

When I was Catholic, the idea of this Hell was emphasized daily. More than love, more than anything.

The unforgivable sin, by the way, is blaspheme towards the Holy Spirit, meaning a full-on rejection of it... which at this point, I've likely already done.

I don't fear this Hell. In fact i don't believe in it at all! Do i think i'm going to hell? absolutely not. The good deeds you do, happiness to others AND yourself is what makes you go to heaven. Would Jesus approve of such fear?

 

[JeremK]

Would Jesus approve of such fear?

He doesn't seem to care, else he'd have helped me when I prayed for deliverance.

 

[Terese]

Plenty of things. Acting, being with friends, succeeding, playing video games, and community service are just a few examples of this.

However, when I start to panic internally, which happens quite frequently, nothing can pacify me. Nothing can make me happy. I feel like I want to brutalize myself, and I feel like I deserve nothing but absolute pain.

the Lord would not wish this at all. You are hurting yourself.

 

[Terese]

He doesn't seem to care, else he'd have helped me when I prayed for deliverance.

Of course he cares. The lord loves those that help themselves. The lord has helped you, you just don't see it. discovering this forum is a blessing right?

 

[JeremK]

Of course he cares. The lord loves those that help themselves. The lord has helped you, you just don't see it. discovering this forum is a blessing right?

I guess this forum could be called a blessing.

But, I'm just in a major panic right now... I can't stop thinking about ISIS. I feel like they're going to harm me or my loved ones, or that they're right about God, etc. I feel so absolutely afraid and broken. How can I help myself at all?

 

[Terese]

I guess this forum could be called a blessing.

But, I'm just in a major panic right now... I can't stop thinking about ISIS. I feel like they're going to harm me or my loved ones, or that they're right about God, etc. I feel so absolutely afraid and broken. How can I help myself at all?

Why are you worried about ISIS? how many attacks have happened in America? And right about god? absolutely not. I think you need a therapist. Someone to help you personally.

 

[Oldsoul]

Plenty of things. Acting, being with friends, succeeding, playing video games, and community service are just a few examples of this.

However, when I start to panic internally, which happens quite frequently, nothing can pacify me. Nothing can make me happy. I feel like I want to brutalize myself, and I feel like I deserve nothing but absolute pain.

So you are living an active engaging life..
Focus on the positives. .
Stop beating yourself up..
It's pointless. .

 

[JeremK]

Why are you worried about ISIS? how many attacks have happened in America? And right about god? absolutely not. I think you need a therapist. Someone to help you personally.

I have a therapist, and he's very helpful and makes me feel good, but there's very little that can be done about my panicking. I'm not sure how much even he could help me...

 

[Thana]

I've posted a bit about this kind of thing before, so I'll make my introduction quick.

I'm an Atheist who has been deconverted from Catholicism for two years. As a bisexual, I was really turned off (no pun intended) by the way I was treated at my church. Additionally, I started to have massive doubts on the content of the Bible and I was going through a very hard time.

I suffer from depression and anxiety, as well as intrusive thoughts. I cannot shake the idea out of my head that God hates me. I miss the community of my church, and I miss being able to feel truly at peace. Furthermore, I have a massive fear of the Christian and Islamic Hell, and I'm scared that I will someday be persecuted and killed over what I end up believing.

I feel stuck between Christianity, Atheism, and Islam, and I'm not sure which is right. What can I do?

I miss having the presence of God and a Church-like community. But I also fear the possibility of me having incorrect beliefs; for example, I'm worried that I will become a Christian, but Islam will be right and I'll go to Hell. I'm also afraid of being delusional, and I don't want to waste my life believing a false religion. Additionally, I'm concerned that becoming religious will cause me even more stress in the end, especially if I'm once again deconverted and can't build another worldview. I'm even worried that ISIS might have the truest interpretation of Islam, that I'll be killed by Muslims or Christians, or that I'll be discriminated upon if I go to any place of worship.

Furthermore, I'm still worried that, if there's a God, he hates me and is making me suffer intentionally, and wants me to go to an eternal Hell. I'm still just so damn confused and scared.

In Christianity and Islam the message is the same. God loves ya, mate
Stop stressing. We're all sinners here, Muslim and Christian alike.

Go to church if you want to go to church. You don't have to be a Christian, just go and have a good time in fact if you let them know that you're confused and unsure in your faith they'll probably be even more accommodating.

In regards to hell, well that's only something you can figure out.

 

[gsa]

If you are an atheist, why are you worried about fictitious hells?

 

[JeremK]

If you are an atheist, why are you worried about fictitious hells?

At this point, I don't know what the hell I am.

I'm as much an Atheist as I am a Christian right now.

 

[JeremK]

In Christianity and Islam the message is the same. God loves ya, mate
Stop stressing. We're all sinners here, Muslim and Christian alike.

Go to church if you want to go to church. You don't have to be a Christian, just go and have a good time in fact if you let them know that you're confused and unsure in your faith they'll probably be even more accommodating.

In regards to hell, well that's only something you can figure out.

But the problem is, both of these religions call for violence against those not exactly like them, and threatens them with eternal punishment.

I don't see how their God can be loving...

 

[InChrist]

I've posted a bit about this kind of thing before, so I'll make my introduction quick.

I'm an Atheist who has been deconverted from Catholicism for two years. As a bisexual, I was really turned off (no pun intended) by the way I was treated at my church. Additionally, I started to have massive doubts on the content of the Bible and I was going through a very hard time.

I suffer from depression and anxiety, as well as intrusive thoughts. I cannot shake the idea out of my head that God hates me. I miss the community of my church, and I miss being able to feel truly at peace. Furthermore, I have a massive fear of the Christian and Islamic Hell, and I'm scared that I will someday be persecuted and killed over what I end up believing.

I feel stuck between Christianity, Atheism, and Islam, and I'm not sure which is right. What can I do?

I miss having the presence of God and a Church-like community. But I also fear the possibility of me having incorrect beliefs; for example, I'm worried that I will become a Christian, but Islam will be right and I'll go to Hell. I'm also afraid of being delusional, and I don't want to waste my life believing a false religion. Additionally, I'm concerned that becoming religious will cause me even more stress in the end, especially if I'm once again deconverted and can't build another worldview. I'm even worried that ISIS might have the truest interpretation of Islam, that I'll be killed by Muslims or Christians, or that I'll be discriminated upon if I go to any place of worship.

Furthermore, I'm still worried that, if there's a God, he hates me and is making me suffer intentionally, and wants me to go to an eternal Hell. I'm still just so damn confused and scared.

If you really knew the love of God through Jesus Christ I don't believe you would be experiencing any such confusion and fear. I was raised Catholic and understand the oppression and fear religion can cause, but God's perfect love casts out fear.

 

[InChrist]

But the problem is, both of these religions call for violence against those not exactly like them, and threatens them with eternal punishment.

I don't see how their God can be loving...

Actually, the biblical faith does not call for violence, but calls believers to "love their enemies".

 

[Thana]

But the problem is, both of these religions call for violence against those not exactly like them, and threatens them with eternal punishment.

I don't see how their God can be loving...

I can't answer for Islam, But as for Christianity you're mistaken. There are plenty of denominations that don't believe in a literal hell and plenty that don't believe in violence. In fact a lot of Christians are pacifists.

 

[JeremK]

Actually, the biblical faith does not call for violence, but calls believers to "love their enemies".

What about the OT, where God kills most of humanity and condones things like stoning and slavery?