Zen Monk vs Vendor

[The Hammer]

A Zen monk visiting New York City goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."

The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog "that will be $4" and hands it to the Zen monk, who pays with a $10 bill.

The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it.

"Excuse me, but where’s my change?" asks the Zen monk.

The vendor responds, "Change must come from within."

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

A wolverine sees @Revoltingest in his underwear with a jar of sour kraut, eating it by the spoon while watching Futurama.

The wolverine realized its life mission then and there: confiscate Revoltingest's pants which were on the ground, and take them away.

As it did, a voice called out, "Wait! Interruptin' me Sunday worship, are ya? Well, I need th' pants for th' bacun truck."

That was when the wolverine fulfilled its life mission of tearing the pants to threads.

Legends has it the wolverine escaped into the woods. But now every Friday at 2, a voice is heard saying "Well I may have fuhgot my jimmy's, but I still need th' bacun!"