Whispers To the River

[Sunstone]

When this weariness is broken on the dawn,
I'll go to the river and cry,

And I won't speak a word
But my tears will flow down
To join with the waters flowing by.

Tears are whispers to the river.
Whispers the river knows.
Whispers the world shall hear, my love,
Although you wouldn't think so.

For the river whispers to the ocean,
The ocean whispers to the sky,
The sky whispers to the clouds:

And the clouds whisper to us, my love,
For the times when we must cry.

 

[michel]

When this weariness is broken on the dawn,
I'll go to the river and cry,

And I won't speak a word
But my tears will flow down
To join with the waters flowing by.

Tears are whispers to the river.
Whispers the river knows.
Whispers the world shall hear, my love,
Although you wouldn't think so.

For the river whispers to the ocean,
The ocean whispers to the sky,
The sky whispers to the clouds:

And the clouds whisper to us, my love,
For the times when we must cry.

That's beautiful, Phil.

 

[Sunstone]

That's beautiful, Phil.

Thank you, Michel! Much appreciated! I am trembling, however, over the prospect that Alyssa herself might not like it. If she doesn't, please ask the missus to set an extra place for me at supper tomorrow: England might be the only safe place far enough abroad that I can escape that troublesome 19 year old's wrath.

 

[Mystic-als]

WoW! Very nice. How can she not like it? Well done.

 

[ChrisP]

Thank you, Michel! Much appreciated! I am trembling, however, over the prospect that Alyssa herself might not like it. If she doesn't, please ask the missus to set an extra place for me at supper tomorrow: England might be the only safe place far enough abroad that I can escape that troublesome 19 year old's wrath.

Well I'm sure she will. That's some of the nicest imagery I've read in a while. Nice work Sunstone.

 

[robtex]

It is nice Phil. It is good not to read some analogy about crying a river or cried enought to make a river. I think that horse has been kicked till its dead. I think readers can apprciate letting go of ones feelings in nature which makes the poem "real" to myself when I read it. It is a bigger asset not to go too much into detail about the river and landscape it is on because people when able to use their own imagination seem to relate even more. I think the poem will have a bigger effect because you didn't spend time trying to describe the landscape in detail. Everyone will kinda have their own river to visit mentally when reading your piece. Thanks for sharing it.

One just footnote, if that is ok. I have noticed over time in poetry (and in general) people tune the word "I" out alot of times or it can inadvertenly make the piece look more self-centered than it was oringinally proposed to be. Perhaps, you could take the stanza :
I"'ll go to the river and cry," and take the I'll out to say something like:
Going to the river to cry or, lets go to the river to cry and with the stanza:
" And I won't speak a word" take out the I to say , Won't speak a word or something with the same concept but with no I. I do that from time to time to. Write something (business proposal, poem, anthing other than a letter to a friend) go back and take out all the "I''s.

 

[Sunstone]

WoW! Very nice. How can she not like it? Well done.

Thank you, Ticandy! What a beautiful and interesting username you have chosen! Might I ask what it means?

Also, where are you located? I'm so curious!

As for how it's possible she might not like it, I can't bring myself to assume anything about people liking my work because early in my journey as a poet, I was utterly and permanently traumatized by someone who frequently and viciously torched my poems at momments when she was peeved at me:

http://www.religiousforums.com/forum/showthread.php?t=33512

BTW, Welcome to the Forums! I hope you like it here!

 

[Sunstone]

Well I'm sure she will. That's some of the nicest imagery I've read in a while. Nice work Sunstone.

Thank you so much, Chris! *is pleased, then irrationally suspicious* That's the sort of thing my friend used to say at first, but later on she'd burn my poems. *gives Chris narrow demented look* You aren't fixing to print my poem out and burn it are you?

 

[Sunstone]

It is nice Phil. It is good not to read some analogy about crying a river or cried enought to make a river. I think that horse has been kicked till its dead. I think readers can apprciate letting go of ones feelings in nature which makes the poem "real" to myself when I read it. It is a bigger asset not to go too much into detail about the river and landscape it is on because people when able to use their own imagination seem to relate even more. I think the poem will have a bigger effect because you didn't spend time trying to describe the landscape in detail. Everyone will kinda have their own river to visit mentally when reading your piece. Thanks for sharing it.

Thank you, Rob! Those are very kind and thoughtful words. I love the way you are on the same page with me here. I thought as I was writing it out yesterday that the blankness of the landscape was a virtue in this one case. It's good to hear I might have made the right choice in that.

One just footnote, if that is ok. I have noticed over time in poetry (and in general) people tune the word "I" out alot of times or it can inadvertenly make the piece look more self-centered than it was oringinally proposed to be. Perhaps, you could take the stanza :
I"'ll go to the river and cry," and take the I'll out to say something like:
Going to the river to cry or, lets go to the river to cry and with the stanza:
" And I won't speak a word" take out the I to say , Won't speak a word or something with the same concept but with no I. I do that from time to time to. Write something (business proposal, poem, anthing other than a letter to a friend) go back and take out all the "I''s.

I also like the way we're almost on the same page again! I hate that little "I" in most poems too. It seems to throw everything into a self centered mess or worse. But in this one poem I like how it echos the word "cry", so after thinking about your remarks I'm going to risk keeping it. Nevertheless, thank you so much for your thoughtful views!

 

[standing_alone]

I love it, Phil! :hug:

As with everyone else, I loved the imagry - and that it uses nature. And how funny a river, too, since rivers, both in actuality and metaphorically hold significance to me in my life. As rivers are made up of water, which gives life, I see rivers as a life body, and always moving - a perfect metaphor for life (and one that is being worked into my next tattoo, when I have the money ). That the narrator cries and the tears "join" with the river is personally special to me, since it's like joining - or re-joining? - with life or something - it makes sense in my head, I swear. Now, that, I'm sure, wasn't your intent (and I've only read the poem a few times, not enough to begin serious analysis), but it made the poem all the more special.

 

[Sunstone]

Thank you, Alyssa! I'm grateful you love it.

I think for me a river is a metaphor for life, time, process, connection. So, we make rather similar associations, which intrigues me. How did we manage to do that, I wonder?

I know part of the symbolism of rivers for me might come from Heraclitus' observation that, "one cannot step into the same river twice" for it is always changing.

 

[standing_alone]

How did we manage to do that, I wonder?

I think that might actually be a common interpretation of rivers metaphorically.

 

[Sunstone]

I think that might actually be a common interpretation of rivers metaphorically.

I suppose your right, O Rainbow Woman! Now that I think of it, I'm sure I've heard the expression, "river of time".

How many "rivers" are there, My Dearest Neice, that make sense as rivers? Is there a :

river of life?
river of love?
river of charity?
river of laughter?
river of song?
river of lust?
river of dust?
river of....?

 

[standing_alone]

I suppose your right, O Rainbow Woman! Now that I think of it, I'm sure I've heard the expression, "river of time".

How many "rivers" are there, My Dearest Neice, that make sense as rivers? Is there a :

river of life?
river of love?
river of charity?
river of laughter?
river of song?
river of lust?
river of dust?
river of....?

Exactly. Many things can make sense attached to the river metaphorically.

You know what? All this reminded me of a poem by one of my favorite poets, Langston Hughes:

THE NEGRO SPEAKS OF RIVERS

By Langston Hughes

I've known rivers: I've known rivers ancient as the world and older than the flow of human blood in human veins.
My soul has grown deep like the rivers.
I bathed in the Euphrates when dawns were young. I built my hut near the Congo and it lulled me to sleep.
I looked upon the Nile and raised the pyramids above it. I heard the singing of the Mississippi when Abe Lincoln went down to New Orleans, and I've seen its muddy bosom turn all golden in the sunset.
I've known rivers: Ancient, dusky rivers.
My soul has grown deep like the rivers.

 

[Sunstone]

I grew up in a town near a river called the Sangamon which flows across the muddy belly of Illinois, Alyssa, and is for its size, first or second among the most trecherous rivers in the nation for taking lives. The name is Native American, but the meaning of the word is lost, and maybe that's fitting.

There is a family named the Washingtons, who live in the town right on the bank, so close the folk of the family can dive from their own porch right into the current; and the men in that family for three generations have rescued from the Sangamon over 20 drowning people a piece. But two generations of men in that one family alone have themselves drowned in trying to rescue others.

The most recent was Kevin, who I grew up with, and who was the high school's star athlete in the year we went to the State finals, beating out the big Chicago schools for second place. Kevin was a strong swimmer; so strong, I recall Kevin pulled 23 from the Sangamon before it killed him on his 24th try.

That old river knows how to take a life, Alyssa, and is just as ruthless as a hunter.

 

[Sunstone]

BTW, thanks for posting the Hughes poem. I love it!

 

[Buttercup]

When this weariness is broken on the dawn,
I'll go to the river and cry,

And I won't speak a word
But my tears will flow down
To join with the waters flowing by.

Tears are whispers to the river.
Whispers the river knows.
Whispers the world shall hear, my love,
Although you wouldn't think so.

For the river whispers to the ocean,
The ocean whispers to the sky,
The sky whispers to the clouds:

And the clouds whisper to us, my love,
For the times when we must cry.

Ahhhhh, Phil. I love this one the most of all your work so far. I relate to melancholy poems the best and the nature elements are easy to capture vividly in my mind living in the beautiful place I do. This could have been written by me because I've done this very thing on several occasions in my life.

Great job and thanks for sharing......

 

[Sunstone]

Ahhhhh, Phil. I love this one the most of all your work so far. I relate to melancholy poems the best and the nature elements are easy to capture vividly in my mind living in the beautiful place I do. This could have been written by me because I've done this very thing on several occasions in my life.

Great job and thanks for sharing......

Thank you, Buttercup! I'm very flattered.

If you like melancholy poems, perhaps you wil enjoy this poem about Paula, who was once some time ago a friend:

http://www.religiousforums.com/forum/forumdisplay.php?f=242

 

[michel]

Thank you, Alyssa! I'm grateful you love it.

I think for me a river is a metaphor for life, time, process, connection. So, we make rather similar associations, which intrigues me. How did we manage to do that, I wonder?

I know part of the symbolism of rivers for me might come from Heraclitus' observation that, "one cannot step into the same river twice" for it is always changing.

I think you can sum the representation more easily; river = flow. Therefore, flow of time, of love, ect.....