What is the funniest story you know? Is there anything funnier than a fart in church?
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What do you say when someone passes gas out loud?
- Thread starter Reverend Rick
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Ever learning
Active Member
I do not take the time to say anything, just move away quickly.
I like to go shopping at Walmart when I have excess gas.
Terrywoodenpic
Oldest Heretic
If you Fart you should quickly look at the person nearest to you, frown slightly and purse your lips.
Works every time. You can even get sympathetic looks from people further away.
Is this a SIN ?
Works every time. You can even get sympathetic looks from people further away.
Is this a SIN ?
Cynic
Well-Known Member
I think it's funnier when people try to cover it, like with a cough or some other noise... Like that episode of Family guy. But usually I'm more disgusted than humored when someone flagellates in public (especially when they do it next to me)... At least I have the decency to go to a restroom.
If you can. There was this very fat woman who was worshipping in church and made a bee line for the rest room. The problem was, the rest room was behind the pulpit. With every step she flagellated in front of the whole congregation. Everyone tried to not notice or smile. Suppressed laughter is the best and worse.
My younger son was just telling me that he produced something that smelt as if it had emmanated from a decomposing camel, at a party last night.
Immediately, a few of the friends at the table started pulling faces, saying "Urgh! what on earth is that stench ?"
He kept quiet, and let everyone assume that it was another work colleage, who never said anything; he did "come clean" at the end of the evening - well, that is his story.
Immediately, a few of the friends at the table started pulling faces, saying "Urgh! what on earth is that stench ?"
He kept quiet, and let everyone assume that it was another work colleage, who never said anything; he did "come clean" at the end of the evening - well, that is his story.
A
angellous_evangellous
Guest
I say, "You should get that checked out (by a doctor)."
Buttercup
Veteran Member
When I was a kid me and my best friend Karen Martin used to have great fun with a whoopie cushion in the girls bathroom during intermission at the movie theater on Saturday afternoons. One of us would stand at the sink pretending to wash our hands while the other was in the stall with the whoopie cushion. She'd blow it up as big as possible and let 'er rip. The person standing outside got to enjoy the facial expressions of all the women and girls in the bathroom and the quick exit many of them made out the door. Then, we'd switch places and have another go around with a new crowd of people. God, that was fun. Sometimes we'd take the whoopie cushion into the theater and sit along the aisle and let a small one go as someone walked by. Of course everyone would look thinking it was the person walking by who did it. Heheee
The person standing outside got to enjoy the facial expressions of all the women and girls in the bathroom and the quick exit many of them made out the door. Then, we'd switch places and have another go around with a new crowd of people. God, that was fun. Sometimes we'd take the whoopie cushion into the theater and sit along the aisle and let a small one go as someone walked by. Of course everyone would look thinking it was the person walking by who did it. Heheee
Shadow Wolf
Certified People sTabber
The only fart related story is when I was working at a gas station. The area with the registers was a small room called the cash house, and a coworker would stink it up real bad. So me and some other coworkers told him that every time he did that, he could expect prompt towel whippings. Many welts and red marks ensued. Eventually, I went from towels to finger-flipping quarters at him. Several bruises, welts, and a few knots on the head followed.
Buttercup
Veteran Member
My husband works in an air traffic control tower and the guys play the "fart present" game in the elevator all the time. One controller will come upstairs to relieve another controller and during his trip to the top he leaves a "present" in the elevator for the controller on break to enjoy on his ride downstairs.
mcteethinator
Idiosyncratic Muslim
I fart and then go "I farted". Since I'm a real gentlemen.
Aqualung
Tasty
My dad one time did this - He likes to fart a lot, for some strange reason. I never understood. One time I had just gotten done with a basketball game, and he was walking with me to the car. He did some "walking farts" (you know, where you fart every time you step) down the stairs in front of the gym. It was really loud and it made me laugh. But then very loudly, right behind me, a teammate said, "Hi [insert my name here]! Great game!" She was right behind me. There's no way she didn't hear. It made me and my dad laugh hard. Another time a friend called and my brother left the phone on the counter for me to come downstairs and get. (Again) my dad decided to fart really loudly, not realising that the phone was right behind his butt. Gosh, my dad managed to embarrass me all the time with his farts.
hannahrose1209
*~Forever Wondering~*
When i was in grade school we were in the middle of taking EOGs (end of grade) tests! It was really quiet and you could've heard a pin drop and my brother let out the LOUDEST fart in the whole in tire world. Everyone in the class was rollin on the floor laughing including the teacher!! That one went down in family history!!
Hema
Sweet n Spicy
I have to tell you guys this story about our nephew.
Recently the electricity went one evening and my husband and I were watching the little boy because his parents went out. Since it was dark, he was scared so my husband and I took turns showering so that one of us can stay with him while the other one showers. My husband gave his nephew a bath and afterwards I went to his room with him to flash the torchlight while he took out his clothes from the closet. We reached the closet. He stoops to open the last drawer and farts loudly. He says, "Sorry" then does it again. He says, "It's a disease I suffer from!" :biglaugh:
Recently the electricity went one evening and my husband and I were watching the little boy because his parents went out. Since it was dark, he was scared so my husband and I took turns showering so that one of us can stay with him while the other one showers. My husband gave his nephew a bath and afterwards I went to his room with him to flash the torchlight while he took out his clothes from the closet. We reached the closet. He stoops to open the last drawer and farts loudly. He says, "Sorry" then does it again. He says, "It's a disease I suffer from!" :biglaugh:
Hema
Sweet n Spicy
Sometimes when we are doing difficult postures in yoga class I sometimes hear people fart...not often though. I feel sorry for whoever it is because it's embarassing, so I try not to laugh! Then I would see my father snickering and I can't help but chuckle. Once after class, my dad told the yoga teacher that someone who farted had almost killed him because he was sitting right behind him. What's really funny is watching the yoga teacher keep a straight face as if it's something ordinary. There is a yogic posture to help with gas, the teacher calls it the gas removing posture. My father can't wait for the day when someone farts during that posture. He says that if it happens the teacher will compliment him/her for doing the posture "correctly".