Tilak/Bindhu/Vibhuti as everyday wear: do you do it?

[StarryNightshade]

I wear Tilak when I go to temple (whenever I get that chance ultimately depends on my work schedule), but I have often times considered wearing it at work or just out in public. As I had mentioned in the Virtual Ashram, I was going to wear Tilak to work today, but I don't know if that will offend anyone. I mean, it is a significant religious symbol, one given to me by the diksha guru, but the average person doesn't know what it is. And for those who would know, they don't know me personally. As far as they're concerned, I'm just some random white guy wearing such a holy thing casually.

As such:

1.) How many of you regularly wear Tilak, Vibhuti, or Bindu/i out in public?

2.) Given that I'm in the southern United States, should I just not worry about wearing it? That it would cause more trouble than anything?

 

[Vinayaka]

I don't. Yes, to temple, or on the way home from temple. It just seems like drawing unnecessary attention, to me. That and I'm a shy guy. But to each his own.

 

[StarryNightshade]

I don't. Yes, to temple, or on the way home from temple. It just seems like drawing unnecessary attention, to me. That and I'm a shy guy. But to each his own.

I hear that. I'm trying to get more into the devotional mindset, and I believe tilak would help, but then I remember exactly where it is I live. Besides, even when I wear it to temple, I often get some really uncomfortable stares.

 

[Vinayaka]

Boss had her's on the other night, without realising, and I didn't bother to tell her. An elder Sikh noticed and smiled, and the teller (average Caucasian westerner) f the store we went to noticed, stared, then smiled too. We live in a very ethnic neighbourhood, so there wouldn't be problems. I might change one day, and just leave it on after puja. A friend of mine wears hers all the time, and she works in a hospital. (In an office, not in the roving general public area) She just said, "they get used to it." So if we all did it, more people would get used to tt.

 

[ShivaFan]

In most temples I go to, the forehead is marked after the puja, but I don't wear it ahead of time unless it is vibhuti.

Depending on the sect, the mark is by clay (white), a form of kumkum (red or orange) or ashes (white) or even black, mostly I call this tilak if clay from sacred river or spot or vibhuti if incense ash or other ash from murti pujas ...

I don't call any of this bindi. To me that is an ornament dot women wear.

I put vibhuti on my head every single day. I love the electric energy and smell. Especially vibhuti from a Skanda temple.

 

[Fireside_Hindu]

I wear tilak at temple and home from temple, or during puja at home. I have played with the idea of wearing a bindi other times, but that has been adopted as a casual fashion statement by new-age women who aren't interested in the religious significance or the origin at all and I just don't need that association. I'm shy and don't like people staring at me and I live in an area where no one would know what it is anyway. It does make me happy when one of the older women at temple insists on putting kumkum on my forehead for me. Makes me feel included. =) I do wish I could wear the plain red or black paper dot bindis though. I don't wear the red sindoor in the part of my hair because I didn't have a Hindu wedding and my husband is Catholic so I'll just have to wait till next time around I guess =)

 

[Chakra]

I would love to wear the tilak everyday after I get initiated. I would kind of feel proud that I am wearing the tilak.

 

[Aupmanyav]

Besides, even when I wear it to temple, I often get some really uncomfortable stares.

These stares are going to disturb you. It is perhaps better that you put on a very light tilak so as not to be noticed. In many areas of India wearing a tilak or a bindi is the norm. People will go to work only after some worship and putting on a tilak or bindi. The members of Bharatiya Janata Party, ShivSena, the Hindu outfits proudly wear tilaks.

 

[Aupmanyav]

It does make me happy when one of the older women at temple insists on putting kumkum on my forehead for me. Makes me feel included. =) I do wish I could wear the plain red or black paper dot bindis though. I don't wear the red sindoor in the part of my hair because I didn't have a Hindu wedding and my husband is Catholic so I'll just have to wait till next time around I guess =)

As you know putting kumkum is the biggest blessing for a Hindu woman for her husband to live long, and the done thing in the Eastern part of India (Bihar, Bengal, Assam, Odisha; and in other parts of India a part of Holi celebrations. Perhaps your husband will come to you as a Hindu next time. I appreciate your sentiment to respect his beliefs.

 

[Vinayaka]

These stares are going to disturb you. It is perhaps better that you put on a very light tilak so as not to be noticed. In many areas of India wearing a tilak or a bindi is the norm. People will go to work only after some worship and putting on a tilak or bindi. The members of Bharatiya Janata Party, ShivSena, the Hindu outfits proudly wear tilaks.

I wore pottu all the time in India. It's a secular state where religion is respected. I didn't put one on in Dubai on the way through. America is in the middle, Aup. A few years back there was a gang referred to as the 'dotbusters' in New Jersey.

 

[Aupmanyav]

Good that they have become used to seeing peaceful Hindus around. Himachal Pradesh BJP group:

 

[Vinayaka]

Here it's particularly rare for converts and men, I think. Most Indian Hindu (including from the vast diaspora) women wear the marks in public, even if just a small one.

 

[Maya3]

I never wear it.

To me it would feel as if I did it just to make sure that people would see it, it would not have a spiritual significance for me. It is not part of my tradition anyway.

Maya

 

[StarryNightshade]

have played with the idea of wearing a bindi other times, but that has been adopted as a casual fashion statement by new-age women who aren't interested in the religious significance or the origin at all and I just don't need that association.

That's one of my biggest concerns. If this were India or Nepal, I could wear it with no issue. But over here (the US), non-Indians wearing forehead markings has a relatively negative association. I know the significance, but I would still look like I'm some random guy appropriating something that is no inherent to his culture. The last thing I need at work is to have someone come up to me and tell me to "check my privilege"

 

[StarryNightshade]

These stares are going to disturb you. It is perhaps better that you put on a very light tilak so as not to be noticed. In many areas of India wearing a tilak or a bindi is the norm. People will go to work only after some worship and putting on a tilak or bindi. The members of Bharatiya Janata Party, ShivSena, the Hindu outfits proudly wear tilaks.

I wouldn't say "disturb", but when it's at temple (where we are supposed to be with God), it made me a little uncomfortable to further stand out as the "other" in the community. I'll eventually get used to it and it'll become a non-issue.

 

[Nayana]

I do wear Tilak quite often. Being from partial Indian descent people don't usually question it. I go to a university with a large Islamic population and they tend to ask the most questions, such as, "So you follow your religion?". I just say yes. Most people are just curious and I feel white people are too afraid to ask as they might be considered 'racist' against my 'religion' (I have no idea how people manage that).
I would say wear it anyway, there is no need to fear anyone else's negative reactions. It's just a forehead mark and allows for peoples true nature to be seen when they deal with you, they eventually get used to it. Im lucky enough to have never had any negative experience with it. As well, it is a daily worship and reminder of your true eternal nature.
One thing my parents would often do as we lived in a highly conservative area in Australia, was to apply water tilak, so its clear and no one needs to know you have it on.

 

[Fireside_Hindu]

Recently, I've been thinking about this subject a lot and playing with the idea of trying to wear a simple red bindi whenever I attend temple. I'm still uncertain about wearing it in public due to issues over cultural misappropriation and cultural identity. We have more Indian's living in our neighborhood now and I don't know how they would feel about me.I figure, I've never even worn one, so I might as well try it in the privacy of my own home once or at temple and see how it makes me feel. If it doesn't feel right, I don't have to worry about it anymore. If it does feel right, well, then is gets more complicated but we shall see. I will start with a very small one and see how it goes.

 

[Aupmanyav]

I guess Hindus will appreciate it.

 

[ShivaFan]

FH, I don't think you have much to worry about Fireside, as far as the small red bindi which is sort of, though uncommon, a fashion statement now among some girl circles. I need to scan and upload the cover of the latest fashion store catalog that my daughter and wife get, but it adverts the trending Made in India and garment industry Salwar Kameez type girl outfits, ("white" and teenage) girls with bindis and such.

Of course I have sister-in-laws out the ying yang wearing bindi in public in the US, never had a problem ever, now I see "Euro" teens and younger adults trending with bindi, I see it in Walnut Creek, S.F., Santa Cruz, Monterey, elsewhere even in the last few weeks (and during "Spring Break"). And not to stereotype you, but every other time I go into a "World Market" I see gals like you with a small bindi. Maybe it depends on where you live whether you see this or not. I do see it here. No problem at all. India wrist bands, wrist chains and bangles are become popular with girls, too. I LOVE salwar kameez (... well on a girl, not me)! Let us know how the bindi bomb works out for you! Bindi bliss or bindi bust?

 

[Aupmanyav]

Why, you could also wear Salwar Kameez if you so desire.
Edited: It is a comfortable attire. In winters, those made with woolens can be used.
"Men all over Pakistan prefer shalwar kameez or a kurta with some additional accessories which include Pakistani Waistcoat, Achkan and Sherwani with the shalwar kameez or with Churidar Pajama. Jinnah Cap also called Karakul, Fez also called Rumi Topi and Taqiyah (cap) is used with Shalwar Kameez. Khussa is a popular foot wear with shalwar kameez. Men like to wear traditional shawls made of Pashmina or other warm materials especially in Northern part of the country."
Pakistani clothing - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Cricketer Imran Khan and Jamima Khan, Pakistan PM Nawaz Sharief wearing Shalwar Kameez.