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This is funny
- Thread starter Kalidas
- Start date
Kalidas
Well-Known Member
Nice! 
I searched on Hindu humour. Most of it was racial slurs and quite offensive, unfortunately.
Kalidas
Well-Known Member
ew no fun at all
Kalidas
Well-Known Member
Have you all seen this one?
http://www.ninapaley.com/Book/images/B+W_960pixels/NA_SheepReincarnation_1994_960pixels.png
http://www.ninapaley.com/Book/images/B+W_960pixels/NA_SheepReincarnation_1994_960pixels.png
Aupmanyav
Be your own guru
Well, I found this:
"In some remote village of India, one masterji is teaching the Mahabharat katha to class 6 students. He is at the 'krishnajanma' part of it.
Masterji: "Kansa heard the Akashwani that his sister's 8th child is going to kill him. Kansa furious then ordered to put Vasudev and Devki behind the bars. When the first son is born, Kansa kills him by poisoning... second child is born and Kansa throws him off the mountain peak...third child is born..."
Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand. Masterji, I have a doubt (sounding nervous and confused)
Masterji: "Ramu bete, whole India does not have doubt in mahabharata then how come you have one?"
Ramu : Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to kill him, WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME CELL ?
Masterji fainted........................."
or
Q: What does a Hindu wish someone on their birthday?
A: May you have many happy returns.
or
A man is trying to sleep but a mosquito keeps dive-bombing his ear with its annoying high-pitched whine: “Zeeee…. zeeee.” He jumps up and catches it.
But now what? If he kills it, he won’t attain Moksha (Hindu Nirvana). While puzzling over this, he realizes that the mosquito has gone to sleep on his hand.
Smiling, he stays up all night bending over it, saying: “Zeeee… Zeeee.”
ps. - I checked for Hindu religious humour.
"In some remote village of India, one masterji is teaching the Mahabharat katha to class 6 students. He is at the 'krishnajanma' part of it.
Masterji: "Kansa heard the Akashwani that his sister's 8th child is going to kill him. Kansa furious then ordered to put Vasudev and Devki behind the bars. When the first son is born, Kansa kills him by poisoning... second child is born and Kansa throws him off the mountain peak...third child is born..."
Now Ramu, who is smartest of the lot, puts up his hand. Masterji, I have a doubt (sounding nervous and confused)
Masterji: "Ramu bete, whole India does not have doubt in mahabharata then how come you have one?"
Ramu : Masterji, if Kansa knew that Devaki's 8th child was going to kill him, WHY THE HELL DID HE PUT VASUDEV AND DEVAKI IN THE SAME CELL ?
Masterji fainted........................."
or
Q: What does a Hindu wish someone on their birthday?
A: May you have many happy returns.
or
A man is trying to sleep but a mosquito keeps dive-bombing his ear with its annoying high-pitched whine: “Zeeee…. zeeee.” He jumps up and catches it.
But now what? If he kills it, he won’t attain Moksha (Hindu Nirvana). While puzzling over this, he realizes that the mosquito has gone to sleep on his hand.
Smiling, he stays up all night bending over it, saying: “Zeeee… Zeeee.”
ps. - I checked for Hindu religious humour.
Last edited:
Oh dear, this was pretty bad (in a good way ):
Did you hear about the Hindu yogi who was having a filling put in a tooth? When the dentist asked him if he wanted Novocaine, the yogi said, "No. I can transcend dental medication".
):Did you hear about the Hindu yogi who was having a filling put in a tooth? When the dentist asked him if he wanted Novocaine, the yogi said, "No. I can transcend dental medication".
Maya3
Well-Known Member
I heard this one a long time ago.
An aspiring Yogi wanted to find a Guru. He went to an Ashram and his preceptor told him, "You can stay here but we have one important rule: all students observe Mouna or a vow of silence. You will be allowed to speak in 12 years."
After practicing for 12 long years, the day came when the student could say his one thing or ask his one question.
He said: "The bed is too hard."
He kept going for another 12 years of austere discipline, meditation and silence and finally got the opportunity to speak again. He said: "The food is not good."
Twelve more years of hard work and he got to speak again. Here are his words after 36 years of practice: "I quit."
His Guru quickly answered: "Good, all you have been doing anyway is complaining."
An aspiring Yogi wanted to find a Guru. He went to an Ashram and his preceptor told him, "You can stay here but we have one important rule: all students observe Mouna or a vow of silence. You will be allowed to speak in 12 years."
After practicing for 12 long years, the day came when the student could say his one thing or ask his one question.
He said: "The bed is too hard."
He kept going for another 12 years of austere discipline, meditation and silence and finally got the opportunity to speak again. He said: "The food is not good."
Twelve more years of hard work and he got to speak again. Here are his words after 36 years of practice: "I quit."
His Guru quickly answered: "Good, all you have been doing anyway is complaining."
Kalidas
Well-Known Member
Okay this is just a funny story that I learned about today.
A while back I was in this Infant Toddler class and we had to do a research group project on another country and how they handle pregnancy and birth, we picked the Indonesian country of Bali. Me being the only Hindu in the class I handles the religious aspects of the project.
Well in Bali they also do samskaras and we had to do a presentation, I had the idea of doing the pregnancy samskara(Pumsavana is what you would know it as) and then we do like a fast forward baby is born etc etc etc.
Well I wanted it to be as "authentic" as possible. I played the part of the Swami(I know silly). I looked up mantras to Ganesha to wish the child safe passage during its journey through the womb(didn't have time for others). We offered her fruits and rice(no bread like it is meant to in Bali they do fruit) these food items I honestly had blessed at my shrine so they were "real" prasad. We even had lamp light, incense, blessed water, offered the food on banana leaves, and had a presentation board with giant pictures of Shiva and Ganesha(so we even had murtis).
Fastforward a year she tells me today she found out the NEXT day she REALLY was pregnant and had the baby and the baby is safe and doing fine.
So long story short I may have inadvertently (and probably VERY incorrectly) performed a samskara on this ladies baby while she was pregnant... I'm sorry I just find this to be funny.
A while back I was in this Infant Toddler class and we had to do a research group project on another country and how they handle pregnancy and birth, we picked the Indonesian country of Bali. Me being the only Hindu in the class I handles the religious aspects of the project.
Well in Bali they also do samskaras and we had to do a presentation, I had the idea of doing the pregnancy samskara(Pumsavana is what you would know it as) and then we do like a fast forward baby is born etc etc etc.
Well I wanted it to be as "authentic" as possible. I played the part of the Swami(I know silly). I looked up mantras to Ganesha to wish the child safe passage during its journey through the womb(didn't have time for others). We offered her fruits and rice(no bread like it is meant to in Bali they do fruit) these food items I honestly had blessed at my shrine so they were "real" prasad. We even had lamp light, incense, blessed water, offered the food on banana leaves, and had a presentation board with giant pictures of Shiva and Ganesha(so we even had murtis).
Fastforward a year she tells me today she found out the NEXT day she REALLY was pregnant and had the baby and the baby is safe and doing fine.
So long story short I may have inadvertently (and probably VERY incorrectly) performed a samskara on this ladies baby while she was pregnant... I'm sorry I just find this to be funny.
Beautiful story, and I actually think it's quite possible your performance was absolutely right. From the mystical side, I would never underestimate the power of such things.
Then again, maybe you have siddhis, and just don't know it. We get that sort of thing brainwashed out of us in the secular schools of the intellect.
That's why people of the east who have less of it still maintain that the power of the Gods is absolutely real. But if I ever meet you, just be careful what you say around me, okay.