the lie that men should never get help with sickness

[BenTheBeliever]

As a husband I battle real bad with pride. I found out in 2014 that I have fibromyalgia. Of course it was my wife who made me go get help to begin with. Like many guys I dealt with the pride issue. I was way to prideful to admit I needed the help that I needed. Plus I believed the lie that as a guy I had to be strong and could not get help. I had to hold it inside until it nearly killed me. Funny how so many of us guys battle with that. Pride can be a good thing but it can be a bad thing as well.

 

[SpeaksForTheTrees]

As a husband I battle real bad with pride. I found out in 2014 that I have fibromyalgia. Of course it was my wife who made me go get help to begin with. Like many guys I dealt with the pride issue. I was way to prideful to admit I needed the help that I needed. Plus I believed the lie that as a guy I had to be strong and could not get help. I had to hold it inside until it nearly killed me. Funny how so many of us guys battle with that. Pride can be a good thing but it can be a bad thing as well.

Hey of all the bad things and I know from my Gran there is a lot worse out there I blame the sports teachers had me taking legs out on the rugby field myself and took some knocks also when your not really fully developed . Is why most sportsmen are done for by 35 .
What's a bit of joint pain when some see there whole family blown up in front of you .
Yes myself lots of old injuries sure to cause problems later , pain not so bad so long as not to intense to make you like want to vomit , so long as I can avoid that kind of pain , few aches here and there at my age , wow , never thought I say that , damn lol .
Few aches and pains ain't so bad .
Hope it not to difficult , I know for my nan it did develop to difficult . Cod liver oil an regular , like tin man

 

[BenTheBeliever]

Hey of all the bad things and I know from my Gran there is a lot worse out there I blame the sports teachers had me taking legs out on the rugby field myself and took some knocks also when your not really fully developed . Is why most sportsmen are done for by 35 .
What's a bit of joint pain when some see there whole family blown up in front of you .
Yes myself lots of old injuries sure to cause problems later , pain not so bad so long as not to intense to make you like want to vomit , so long as I can avoid that kind of pain , few aches here and there at my age , wow , never thought I say that , damn lol .
Few aches and pains ain't so bad .
Hope it not to difficult , I know for my nan it did develop to difficult . Cod liver oil an regular , like tin man

My wife was the mental ward last month cause of her bi polar and when she got out she noticed that a lot of my problems are axinety. I have to take meds every night cause of my pain. I don't work anymore cause of it. People don't understand or chose not to understand. They notice I seem to fine so in their minds I am faking even though I am not.

 

[SpeaksForTheTrees]

My wife was the mental ward last month cause of her bi polar and when she got out she noticed that a lot of my problems are axinety. I have to take meds every night cause of my pain. I don't work anymore cause of it. People don't understand or chose not to understand. They notice I seem to fine so in their minds I am faking even though I am not.

Twisted my nans fingers they gave her steroids was side effects , if I could take the pain away I would trade in a second .
What can I say apart from chin up
People have there own problems however trivia they might seem .
Done it myself Sir can't do games my legs hurting , when really I didn't want to run half naked in the freezing cold , went as far as making our own notes signed johnnys mum.
So this what your up against only those that have experienced it can slightly understand .

 

[Laika]

My wife was the mental ward last month cause of her bi polar and when she got out she noticed that a lot of my problems are axinety. I have to take meds every night cause of my pain. I don't work anymore cause of it. People don't understand or chose not to understand. They notice I seem to fine so in their minds I am faking even though I am not.

I've had depression (still recovering slowly but I've been unable to work for seven years), so if you need to chat and open up, your welcome to PM me. holding it in can make it worse, especially if you feel that is what is expected of you or feel like a burden to others.

if not, that's ok. I am a stranger and the internet just throws people together, but I figured knowing there are people who you can talk to is still a good thing.

 

[Nietzsche]

As a husband I battle real bad with pride. I found out in 2014 that I have fibromyalgia. Of course it was my wife who made me go get help to begin with. Like many guys I dealt with the pride issue. I was way to prideful to admit I needed the help that I needed. Plus I believed the lie that as a guy I had to be strong and could not get help. I had to hold it inside until it nearly killed me. Funny how so many of us guys battle with that. Pride can be a good thing but it can be a bad thing as well.

Fibromyalgia is an interesting diagnosis because it basically amounts to "you're in pain, but **** all if we know why". But yes, pain's a *****.

My wife was the mental ward last month cause of her bi polar and when she got out she noticed that a lot of my problems are axinety. I have to take meds every night cause of my pain. I don't work anymore cause of it. People don't understand or chose not to understand. They notice I seem to fine so in their minds I am faking even though I am not.

That's the best part, isn't it? I'm 24, and outwardly it doesn't look like anything is wrong with me other than walking with a cane. But I've got scoliosis(spine is crooked), arthritis, some manner of degenerative bone thing, and an auto-immune disorder. And I can't seem to get on disability, due to my age. I can only function because I'm on 300mg of extended-release morphine, and I'm allowed 60mg of oxycodone a day.

I'm still in massive amounts of pain.

 

[Jumi]

Got curious from your description of pain there, since I lived in pain for a long time with only ridiculous diagnoses. Never read about fibromyalgia before, the symptoms look the on casual inspection identical as before I stopped eating gluten. Reading the wiki led me to this:

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/25786053

Non-coeliac gluten sensitivity is increasingly recognised as a frequent condition with similar manifestations which overlap with those of FM. The elimination of gluten from the diet of FM patients is recently becoming a potential dietary intervention for clinical improvement. In summary, this review reveals the potential benefit of specific dietary interventions as non-pharmacological tools as part of a multidisciplinary treatment for FM patients.

Not getting your hopes up but I had all of these listed in the article before throwing wheat to the curb permanently:
- chronic, generalised pain condition usually accompanied by several associated symptoms, such as fatigue, sleep disturbance, headache, irritable bowel syndrome and mood disorders.

I was practically disabled and had to quit work and studies before I did. Took me a while to rehabilitate myself after that and get back into the world. My immune system still flares up when I eat wheat products without knowing it and I'm in for a pain ride if I do, so I bear with all the trendy "gluten free" jokes.

Otherwise symptoms are almost gone with some worse days but nothing close to before. Though other things help aside from that, it was a huge deal for me. The other thing that worked for me most was meditation but for that I needed the pain to be a bit less before going into it. Though sometimes just the pain would help reach a state similar to meditation.

Meditation was a fix for the mental side of it, the depression side of it, but that's probably something after the pain is less.

 

[limitedyoke]

I was brought up different but even then I have a high pain tolerance so if a friend or family says I need to get something checked out I do. My pride comes into issue when I'm angry but even then I subconsciously make choices that end up cooling me down and then at that point I reassess the situation.

 

[Jonathan Ainsley Bain]

As a husband I battle real bad with pride. I found out in 2014 that I have fibromyalgia. Of course it was my wife who made me go get help to begin with. Like many guys I dealt with the pride issue. I was way to prideful to admit I needed the help that I needed. Plus I believed the lie that as a guy I had to be strong and could not get help. I had to hold it inside until it nearly killed me. Funny how so many of us guys battle with that. Pride can be a good thing but it can be a bad thing as well.

I feel 100% certain that this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fibromyalgia

Is a dietary condition.

What you need to do is experiment with eliminating entire types of food until you figure out
what is disrupting you body.

It is not the same for everyone, and it changes from person to person from year to year,
which is why this condition will be diagnosed as Fibromyalgia or any other number
of western terms depending on who you talk to.

The first experiment you should try is to cut out all carbohydrates for at least 1 month.
This includes all fruit, bread, sugar, yeasts, starches, fungus.

Actually it would be easier to tell you what you can eat:

Eat only meat, fish, salt and green vegetables.
For four months of every year.

Give it a try, or perhaps speak to a dietician
if you need more convincing.

I consider it to exist because in ancient times,
we would typically only eat meat, salt, fish and green vegetable
during the winter months as nothing else was available.

So a whole variety of parasites which live on the carbs would die off during winter.
Only in comparatively recent history have we had access to any food any time.

Because the parasites which live on carbs vary so much, this is why the
symptoms can vary so much. Almost any ailment that persists for no obvious reason
(even cancer and obesity) can be attributed to what I am struggling to find a name for.

Perhaps

'Fridge diet disorder'?

 

[FTNZ]

I feel 100% certain that this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fibromyalgia

Is a dietary condition.

What you need to do is experiment with eliminating entire types of food until you figure out
what is disrupting you body.

It is not the same for everyone, and it changes from person to person from year to year,
which is why this condition will be diagnosed as Fibromyalgia or any other number
of western terms depending on who you talk to.

The first experiment you should try is to cut out all carbohydrates for at least 1 month.
This includes all fruit, bread, sugar, yeasts, starches, fungus.

Actually it would be easier to tell you what you can eat:

Eat only meat, fish, salt and green vegetables.
For four months of every year.

Give it a try, or perhaps speak to a dietician
if you need more convincing.

I consider it to exist because in ancient times,
we would typically only eat meat, salt, fish and green vegetable
during the winter months as nothing else was available.

So a whole variety of parasites which live on the carbs would die off during winter.
Only in comparatively recent history have we had access to any food any time.

Because the parasites which live on carbs vary so much, this is why the
symptoms can vary so much. Almost any ailment that persists for no obvious reason
(even cancer and obesity) can be attributed to what I am struggling to find a name for.

Perhaps

'Fridge diet disorder'?

With respect, your suggestions are not based on scientific evidence.

Fibromyalgia is a medical condition about which quite a lot is now known. Unfortunately it is a condition that attracts a lot of attention from people selling unscientific supposed treatments and dietary plans, which have no adequate evidence of effectiveness or safety. People with this condition need science-based recommendations from appropriately qualified people, and they need empathy from others. I am not a medical doctor, so I offer them my empathy.

 

[BenTheBeliever]

I feel 100% certain that this:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fibromyalgia

Is a dietary condition.

What you need to do is experiment with eliminating entire types of food until you figure out
what is disrupting you body.

It is not the same for everyone, and it changes from person to person from year to year,
which is why this condition will be diagnosed as Fibromyalgia or any other number
of western terms depending on who you talk to.

The first experiment you should try is to cut out all carbohydrates for at least 1 month.
This includes all fruit, bread, sugar, yeasts, starches, fungus.

Actually it would be easier to tell you what you can eat:

Eat only meat, fish, salt and green vegetables.
For four months of every year.

Give it a try, or perhaps speak to a dietician
if you need more convincing.

I consider it to exist because in ancient times,
we would typically only eat meat, salt, fish and green vegetable
during the winter months as nothing else was available.

So a whole variety of parasites which live on the carbs would die off during winter.
Only in comparatively recent history have we had access to any food any time.

Because the parasites which live on carbs vary so much, this is why the
symptoms can vary so much. Almost any ailment that persists for no obvious reason
(even cancer and obesity) can be attributed to what I am struggling to find a name for.

Perhaps

'Fridge diet disorder'?

This g is I have had this pain since I was a kid. My legs would hurt all the time as a kid. People would tell me it's growing pains. It got worse as I got older. I had to work when I was single before I got m!married so I just ignore the pain until July of 2014 when all hell broke loose on my body

 

[BenTheBeliever]

With respect, your suggestions are not based on scientific evidence.

Fibromyalgia is a medical condition about which quite a lot is now known. Unfortunately it is a condition that attracts a lot of attention from people selling unscientific supposed treatments and dietary plans, which have no adequate evidence of effectiveness or safety. People with this condition need science-based recommendations from appropriately qualified people, and they need empathy from others. I am not a medical doctor, so I offer them my empathy.

It is also a mental condition as well. I battle with really bad anxiety and depression cause of it

 

[Shadow Wolf]

As a husband I battle real bad with pride. I found out in 2014 that I have fibromyalgia. Of course it was my wife who made me go get help to begin with. Like many guys I dealt with the pride issue. I was way to prideful to admit I needed the help that I needed. Plus I believed the lie that as a guy I had to be strong and could not get help. I had to hold it inside until it nearly killed me. Funny how so many of us guys battle with that. Pride can be a good thing but it can be a bad thing as well.

It's not pride, it's foolish arrogance, and it is something very unhealthy that has been deeply ingrained into the social identity of men. The consequences? Men are more likely to die from a terminal illness because they wouldn't go to the doctor sooner, which would have caught these illnesses in the early stages while they were still treatable. Other consequences? Depression, anxiety, and a host of other psychological issues, including security, because men aren't supposed to let anything out.

 

[BenTheBeliever]

It's not pride, it's foolish arrogance, and it is something very unhealthy that has been deeply ingrained into the social identity of men. The consequences? Men are more likely to die from a terminal illness because they wouldn't go to the doctor sooner, which would have caught these illnesses in the early stages while they were still treatable. Other consequences? Depression, anxiety, and a host of other psychological issues, including security, because men aren't supposed to let anything out.

For me it was pride. I was way too proud to seek help. Until my body could not take it anymore

 

[FTNZ]

This g is I have had this pain since I was a kid. My legs would hurt all the time as a kid. People would tell me it's growing pains. It got worse as I got older. I had to work when I was single before I got m!married so I just ignore the pain until July of 2014 when all hell broke loose on my body

These days kids are able to be diagnosed with fibro, which is great because it means they can get treatment sooner.

 

[FTNZ]

It is also a mental condition as well. I battle with really bad anxiety and depression cause of it

Yes it does have that component. Living with chronic pain and other symptoms is enough to make anyone have depression and anxiety issues. Hugs.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

For me it was pride. I was way too proud to seek help. Until my body could not take it anymore

That's why I said it's arrogance. Pride knows when to ask for help. Arrogance is foolish stubbornness - and that is exactly how our culture conditions men to be: a bunch of damn stubborn fools.

 

[FTNZ]

That's why I said it's arrogance. Pride knows when to ask for help. Arrogance is foolish stubbornness - and that is exactly how our culture conditions men to be: a bunch of damn stubborn fools.

That's a bit harsh, isn't it?

 

[Shadow Wolf]

That's a bit harsh, isn't it?

Not really. We have an example here of the consequences of such foolishness, and it's all because society is too harsh on men, and it does have real consequences for the well-being and health of men.

 

[FTNZ]

Not really. We have an example here of the consequences of such foolishness, and it's all because society is too harsh on men, and it does have real consequences for the well-being and health of men.

No, it was harsh, because you were making assumptions about the OP, who is just a person talking about his illness. That's not cool, IMO. He needs empathy and understanding IMO, not being accused of being a fool, or stubborn, just because of his gender. This is sexism.

And you generalise about "society" too. Which society? What parts of that society? Generalisations, binary thinking, and assumptions, are usually pretty unhelpful.