Tell Me A Story!

[JustGeorge]

Any story will do, so long as its about you or something you've done, gone through, seen, experienced, etc.

It can be a funny story, an inspirational story, a pointless story, I don't care. Could have happened when you were 5 or when you were getting out of bed this morning.

Share!

 

[Ashoka]

So, when I was still living with my folks, mom and I were getting into a heated discussion. It wasn't anything bad, just an argument. She told me to "weigh my words." Dad, who had been watching us argue the whole time, abruptly left the room. We didn't notice until he came back with an encyclopedia and a food scale. He put the book on the scale.

Mom was like, "what are you doing?"

Dad: "I'm weighing my words."

That wasn't the only time we got dad joked, but it's the one I remember the best.

 

[VoidCat]

I had crossbred some roses with another plant when I was a kid(didn't know that's what I was doing I was just curious what would happen). One flower on that bush was half white with stripes and the other half was red as a result.

 

[VoidCat]

@Spiderman might like this. My uncle had spiders. Big ones. One was the size of my palm. Anyway it shed its exoskeleton. I was given it. I took it to school. Scared some girls purposely in the locker room. Then gave it to the science teacher.

 

[Heyo]

So, when I was still living with my folks, mom and I were getting into a heated discussion. It wasn't anything bad, just an argument. She told me to "weigh my words." Dad, who had been watching us argue the whole time, abruptly left the room. We didn't notice until he came back with an encyclopedia and a food scale. He put the book on the scale.

Mom was like, "what are you doing?"

Dad: "I'm weighing my words."

That wasn't the only time we got dad joked, but it's the one I remember the best.

Weighing one's words is essential in an argument. You don't want to throw cotton balls but use something that packs a punch.

 

[Debater Slayer]

So, this one was during boot camp several months ago, before I eventually got released from military service on medical grounds. Normally, boot camp lasts for 45 days, but ours lasted only 25 due to COVID. About two weeks before leaving for our main units, we had to do target practice twice, each time on a different week. The officers told us anyone who hit fewer than 75% of the shots wouldn't get the standard one-week break after finishing boot camp, which really worried me because I have myopia and astigmatism.

I scored one out of the four shots the first time we practiced. That made me even more worried. I could barely see the target--which was 100 m away--and the recoil of the AK-47 and tinnitus-inducing gunshot sounds didn't help either. So when it was time for the second practice a week later, I experienced uncharacteristically intense nervousness, so much that my hands shook while holding the rifle. I almost never get very nervous outwardly even when I'm extremely worried, but my physical and mental stress from the whole atmosphere and routine of boot camp peaked on that day.

After a few miserable minutes during which I experienced sweating, shaking hands, and temporary loss of hearing from gunshot noise, I got up and was basically sure at that point that I had missed all of the shots.

So we walked up to the chief officer (he supervised the practice both times) as he read out our scores. When he called my name, I was bracing myself for the crappy result. He said, "Let's hear some applause. He scored all four!"

I didn't even believe it at first, but I grinned in amusement after getting over the initial shock. It later turned out your score had nothing to do with whether or not you got a break after boot camp and that they just said that to motivate us, but I hadn't known that at the time. I guess it could have still gone worse.

 

[Kooky]

At one point in my rambunctious past, I was on the witness stand in a terrorism trial; the charges were against a friend of mine, and to my knowledge, completely trumped up. They questioned me over an alibi I had provided him for the date when he allegedly smashed a shop window in the middle of the night.

It turned out that, on that night, we'd met to belatedly celebrate my birthday together as I had not seen him in a while, and so I regaled judge and prosecution with a night of pub crawls where alcohol was being consumed.

The prosecutor, still holding onto the idea that my friend would have planned to go to that shop in the dead of night and alleging he might have slipped something to me about this, asked me what we talked about during all that night, to which I truthfully replied that I had no idea, as we were drinking and I couldn't remember any more. I remember that the last question the prosecutor asked me was, "what do you mean by 'you've been drinking a little'?" to which I replied, "I mean that we were completely sloshed, and I can't remember a thing beyond that", which prompted some laughter from the audience. After I'd left the witness stand, I heard from my friend that the prosecutor had later called me "dubious" and "unreliable", which I suppose from his point may be fair, as I really hadn't told him anything of use.

There was a lot that happened at that trial that didn't involve me, including the involvement of a former undercover cop who'd slept with my friend in order to - without success - extract useful information, and hours worth of surveillance footage that could have proven his innocence but turned out to have "disappeared" from the responsible police officer's desk. This continued for almost two years - during which not a single shred of evidence for my friend's guilt had ever turned up - which caused me to largely lose faith in my country's legal system, although, in the end, he was cleared of all charges and even paid a small amount of compensation - a fraction of what the trial had cost him, mind you.

Anyway, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it, your honor.

 

[ChristineM]

Friends had come from the UK to stay with us for a week. We had done all the usual children's entertainment stuff, caving, preserved steam engine ride, pre history museum etc. Monday came around, they flew back tomorrow. What can we do on our last day. I suggested Jaquou amusement park. So off we set, two cars in convoy full of boisterous children waving and shouting from car to car . About 10 miles of good road and 35 miles of damn difficult road to the park. Pulled up at the locked car park gates to see the sign.

Horaires d'ouverture.
Dimanche/Sunday - 10h30 à 15h00
Lundi/Monday, fermé/closed,
Mardi au Samedi/Tuesday to Saturday 10h30 à 21h00.
​

 

[JustGeorge]

Friends had come from the UK to stay with us for a week. We had done all the usual children's entertainment stuff, caving, preserved steam engine ride, pre history museum etc. Monday came around, they flew back tomorrow. What can we do on our last day. I suggested Jaquou amusement park. So off we set, two cars in convoy full of boisterous children waving and shouting from car to car . About 10 miles of good road and 35 miles of damn difficult road to the park. Pulled up at the locked car park gates to see the sign.

Horaires d'ouverture.
Dimanche/Sunday - 10h30 à 15h00
Lundi/Monday, fermé/closed,
Mardi au Samedi/Tuesday to Saturday 10h30 à 21h00.
​

That's about how one of our last temple trips before Covid went... Our temple is two hours away. We had arranged for childcare(which is no small feat), driven the two very boring hours(Iowa is not scenic, as it almost all looks like this: ) walked in only to find out that the events had been canceled due to a roof malfunction that was being worked on. So then to drive the two very boring hours back...

 

[ChristineM]

That's about how one of our last temple trips before Covid went... Our temple is two hours away. We had arranged for childcare(which is no small feat), driven the two very boring hours(Iowa is not scenic, as it almost all looks like this: View attachment 51650) walked in only to find out that the events had been canceled due to a roof malfunction that was being worked on. So then to drive the two very boring hours back...

At least Dordogne is pretty, and most certainly not flat

 

[Psalm23]

I have done quite a few things in my sleep including but not limited to singing, talking, raising my hand and saying I know it( when I was a kid) and I have slapped people in my sleep. I could add more. As of yet, I don’t recall anyone saying I snore when sleeping so maybe not. I’m not sure either way.

 

[JustGeorge]

At least Dordogne is pretty, and most certainly not flat

Sometimes a good drive in a pretty place is the perfect day as it is.

 

[JustGeorge]

I have done quite a few things in my sleep including but not limited to singing, talking, raising my hand and saying I know it( when I was a kid) and I have slapped people in my sleep. I could add more. As of yet, I don’t recall anyone saying I snore when sleeping so maybe not. I’m not sure either way.

I had a friend as a younger person who was staying with me fall asleep on my couch. She started talking at one point, and said "If you see her, kill her." Kind of startled, I asked why. "Because she's a man...." (The friend had had some very negative aspects within her romantic relationships at that time.)

Had another friend fall asleep in my bed playing video games while I was at work. I got home and saw him hunched over, sandwich still in his hand. "Hey! Get out of my bed!" He stood up, and looked around, not awake in any sense. I got into bed, and he still stood there. "Out of my room!" He started eating his sandwich. At that point I literally kicked him out. He didn't remember any of it when he woke up.

My sister used to get up and pee places, thinking she was on the toilet. Once she used my mom's closet, another time she squatted in the living room as my mom was watching TV, all while perfectly asleep.

 

[ChristineM]

Sometimes a good drive in a pretty place is the perfect day as it is.

 

[Dan From Smithville]

I grew up in a small town in the south central Missouri Ozarks. When I was a boy, my siblings and I went with our parents into town to go shopping. At one stop my mother and sisters went to pick up some items and my father, brother and I decided to stay in the car, since the womenfolk (I couldn't think of a better description) would not be gone long. We were parked in an alleyway next to a small Toyota 4X4 truck. While waiting there, the woman driving the truck returned with a small boy of about three or four years of age. She put him in the passenger side of the truck and then got into the drivers side. She was looking out the rear window as she commenced to back out of the parking spot. Suddenly, the passenger door of the truck flew open and out fell the boy and he landed just behind the right front wheel. My father immediately hit the horn of our car and the truck jolted as the breaks were forcefully applied while the woman twisted rapidly around looking. When she realized what had happened, she put the truck into park and jumped out and around to where the child had fallen. She seemed both hysterical and collected at the same time. As if her fear and the shock of the event was overridden by the immediate needs of the child and the situation. She picked up the boy and began examining him and hugging him at the same time. She held together really well in retrospect. Within a minute or so she was joined by two men. The younger of the two also examined the boy, hugged him and consoled the woman. We all watched from the car as this occurred and none of the others ever made any contact with us. The men were likely unaware of any role played by my father and the woman was probably too shook up to think about it. I do not recall any comments my father made at the time, but he didn't seem to pay the slight any mind. I recall a pervasive sense that he was simply relieved the child was unharmed. But my brother and I knew that he had probably saved that little boy from injury or death and we couldn't wait to tell mom and the girls when they got back.

I have often wondered, over the years, what kind of man I am. I have made good choices and bad choices. But I hope that there is at least a little of the strength within me that I saw in my father and that woman on that day.

This was prior to the wide adoption of child safety seats and a good example of the value of the adoption of those devices too.

 

[JustGeorge]

My oldest son and I briefly lived with my mother when he was about 4. He was potty trained, but sometimes would 'angry poop' somewhere, much like a cat or dog.

I don't remember what I did to tick him off, but he pooped in front of my bedroom door. I calmly called him over and asked him to come look at the displaced turd. "Can you tell me what this is?" I asked. He bent over and investigated. "That's poop!" He told me. "You're right. That's poop. Can you tell me who did this?" He looked at me confidently and said "cat". I said "No, this is much too large to be cat poop." He looked at the turd again. "Grandma?" He suggested. I was trying really hard not to laugh. "No, this is much too small to be Grandma's." And he lets out a deep sigh. He knows he's caught...

 

[Dan From Smithville]

My oldest son and I briefly lived with my mother when he was about 4. He was potty trained, but sometimes would 'angry poop' somewhere, much like a cat or dog.

I don't remember what I did to tick him off, but he pooped in front of my bedroom door. I calmly called him over and asked him to come look at the displaced turd. "Can you tell me what this is?" I asked. He bent over and investigated. "That's poop!" He told me. "You're right. That's poop. Can you tell me who did this?" He looked at me confidently and said "cat". I said "No, this is much too large to be cat poop." He looked at the turd again. "Grandma?" He suggested. I was trying really hard not to laugh. "No, this is much too small to be Grandma's." And he lets out a deep sigh. He knows he's caught...

The expectations I had when I wanted children was nothing like the reality I encountered when I actually had them.

 

[sun rise]

During the anti-war days in the 60's, I was in Washington DC for an antiwar demonstration. I had a few incidents during that which stuck with me.

One was being a monitor for stage entrance and not recognizing one of the luminaries who proceeded to yell at me that I was a fascist pig because I did not realize who he was.

Other one was chanting "out demons out" at the Pentagon having a great time as did the crowd while a bunch of scared out of their gourds troops or National Guard stood in front of us with rifles. They could not recognize the party atmosphere that prevailed.

Another was marching toward Arlington National Cemetery with a group. We were being followed by a news truck taking video. We had no permit to be on the grounds but a few people ran ahead and negotiated that we could use a grassy entrance outside the cemetery itself and the result was peaceful. The media never reported it because it was not sensational enough.

Finally I was aware of how media bias worked because of how the three networks that existed at the time reported events. One reported the lower police estimate of crowd size. One reported the higher demonstrator number. And the third reported both.

 

[VoidCat]

I had crossbred some roses with another plant when I was a kid(didn't know that's what I was doing I was just curious what would happen). One flower on that bush was half white with stripes and the other half was red as a result.

I found out just now this is called a chimera

 

[amorphous_constellation]

Yesterday I seemed to have invented something called a 'meat salad,' when I added more chicken pieces and bacon bits to the salad than lettuce and other greens. But then, I didn't know if I objectively had a salad. When the garnish takes over, the garnish turn pro. I would say that it definitely is not a salad, if it does not contain lettuce, and possibly if you substitute other meats for the ones that we have established as being traditional. But this is America. The goal of country, is to give you additional power to define both your 1st and 3rd person experiences

I apologize for the story if you're not a meat eater.. It just occurred to me that you might not be. In any case, hopefully this is a good enough expression of narrative novelty