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Staying calm during heated arguments

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Geoff-Allen, May 18, 2022.

  1. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

    Sep 9, 2014
    Greetings fellow Earthlings!

    I hope you are enjoying your time on the forum today.

    Here's a few tips for when a "discussion" becomes heated -

    Arguments are common in all kinds of relationships. Some degree of conflict can even be healthy, as it means both people are expressing themselves, rather than keeping everything inside, or letting emotions become negative. But if you're arguing all the time, or simple disagreements end up in a hostile silence or screaming match, it can really start to affect the children - or even leave you wondering whether you want to split up.

    Learning ways to handle disagreements constructively and how you deal with it that counts. Some top tips:

    • Timing - getting the timing right - try to choose a time when your partner is most receptive, and neither partner is tired.
    • Approach - approaching the issue gently - try not to start with a negative or hostile comment.
    • Complaint or personal attack? There is a difference between a complaint and a personal criticism - choosing words carefully focusing on behaviour not personality or character.
    • Tackle head-on - tackling issues as they come up - not letting things fester or bottle up.
    • Sensitivity - knowing each other's buttons and what not to push - tread gently when on sensitive ground.
    • Underlying issues - understanding that an argument can be a symptom of other things - make some allowances for outside stresses or deeper issues that can affect how either partner feels and behaves.
    • Their view, resolution - not seeing it as a battle to be won or lost - arguments are about finding solutions to differences not just getting your own way. Take turns to have a say and be prepared to compromise.
    • Don't assume, not second guessing - listening to what the other partner is really saying instead of making assumptions.

    For the full article -

    Top tips to help you stay calm during disagreements or arguments - Durham County Council

    Also some interesting links in the text - such as the very well mind site -

    Anger Management Techniques to Calm You Down Fast

    Wishing you all the best!