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snooping ethics

Discussion in 'General Discussion' started by Lintu, Jan 3, 2005.

  1. Lintu

    Lintu Active Member

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    If you say something bad about someone to a friend, and the person you were talking about deliberately snoops in order to find out, who is in the wrong? Should you feel guilty? Is it worse to say something mean (though not untrue) about someone to a friend, or to go through someone's private belongings, reading it?
     
  2. Fluffy

    Fluffy A fool

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    Just look at the motives behind each action to see whether either one could be defined as wrong.

    The first action, bad mouthing someone, could be considered either good or bad depending on your motives for doing so. For example if you had been concerned about a particular person and was showing one of your friends exactly why they should avoid this person then your actions could be defined as good. If you were randomly trying to turn people against this person then you would definitely be in the wrong.

    As for this person's actions, if they had heard rumours that you had said such a thing and they had gone through your stuff to find out if it was true then while their actions might be in the wrong, they are definitely understandable. It could be driven by a desire to not be misunderstood and disliked by others in which case maybe you have misjudged this person.

    Its all to do with the reasons behind the actions.
     
  3. Lintu

    Lintu Active Member

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    The person who committed the snooping turned on a log program on a shared computer and then read through things that were said (with no provocation--no rumors, nothing). I'm surprised that you'd advocate snooping through personal stuff to find out whether something they heard is true. To me, it's a huge invasion of privacy, and it's almost never justified.
     
  4. robtex

    robtex Veteran Member

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    Sounds like you made up your mind on the issue before the post. Guilt is a self-inspired emotion but I find the wording curiuos because to ask the community at large if guilt is justified implies the existance of a universal morality --or at least one involving information gathering. Sounds like an awsome thread topic..gonna get on that cause of you. Thanks for the inspiration. Whatever happened between this person and you Lintu...go to the person and straighten things out before it gets out of hand. Unless you have a negative history with him/her you are going to turn a smaller issue into a much longer one at this point by waiting it out.

    You will have justification for what you think is right and wrong and so will the other person and neither really matters. Have a goal in mind (reconcilation?) and move towards that goal. Judge this senerio by how it ends instead of how it began..and make an extreme effort to end it on a the most positive not possible under the set of circumstances. If you are venting by posting on here thank you for trusting us with your feelings.
     
  5. Lintu

    Lintu Active Member

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    Well, I did feel guilty at first, but it has turned into all out indignation at the privacy issues. If you're gonna snoop through stuff, beware of what you find.

    The problem is that I don't particularly care about this person. She has already proven herself to be disrespectful of other people's belongings, a slob, a liar, and the like. I would say everything I said to my friend again, because it's all still true. I guess I'm just a horrible person, but that's the truth.
     
  6. anders

    anders Well-Known Member

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    I try my utmost not to (explicitly) say anything bad about anyone. I had a boss once, in the translation department of a very well known company, who had me removed for reasons never stated. My theory is that my superior knowledge of linguistics threatened her position. The worst thing I ever said about her is that her linguistic ability is matched by her technical competence.

    Going through someone's belongings is in principle a big no-no to me. I must confess, though, that I've peeped into the writings of a couple of GF's to find out if and how much they cheated on me. In one case (a diary) I thought I found proof for several instances, but we still had an intense relation for years. She dumped me rather suddenly, but today, more than 35 years after the split, I try to talk her into moving back to Sweden - and me. Sorry for the rant, but I felt the need to say that questions on morality never have easy and short and all-encompassing answers.
     
  7. Fluffy

    Fluffy A fool

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    Nobody is perfect and this certainly doesnt make you a horrible person!! I say bad things about people behind their backs all the time and mostly I mean it all too. I just don't like confrontatations so I never say it to their face unless they come up and ask me specificly. It sounds to me like this person has just pissed you off and you were venting some steam and you did it in a much better way that going up to this person and hitting them.
     
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