Sit down, shut up, and quit ruining my life

[MysticSang'ha]

OK, so you just proved my point even more, they will HATE you if they find out you're gay, and physically hurt you every chance that they got, that makes it an even bigger reason not to reveal your homosexuality.

And I don't see why that's so hard to ask for, it's either someone's going to hurt you, or they don't give a flying hoot if you're gay, so why even bring it up? It's unnecessary and does a hell of a lot more harm than good.

Again, you're arguing for gays and lesbians to remain closeted out of fear.

Nice.

It's not hiding to appease others... it's hiding to save yourself. It's not like revealing it will appease others.



I never went into work and said "I'm hetero!" or anything in relation to the topic... I don't see why a homosexual has to.

No queer wants to go in to a workplace an announce their orientation. We just want to be able to freely have a conversation with our coworkers about our personal lives. Just like they have of theirs. Without reprisal.

It's just a picture that you're only going to see at most 12 hours a day, when you get home you get to see the real thing.

It's as simple as not bringing a picture in... a little unimportant picture... don't bring it in and you wont be fired! That simple. Let alone, I extremely doubt someone would bring a picture of their lover to work at a chicken place.

Not only do people bring pictures to work on their phone to show their coworkers, but they're usually available on facebook.

Relationships are something outside of work. I personally believe if you're working you should focus on work stuff (unless at a break). Relationships have nothing relevant to a chicken place.



It seems to me, that the easiest way to get rid of discrimination is to not bring it up...

No, you're simply wrong. The easiest way to get rid of discrimination is to keep discussing it until the truth becomes apparent. Silence only perpetuates the bigotry and the discrimination.

Please stop encouraging gays and lesbians to live their lives in fear. It doesn't help.

 

[Debater Slayer]

Okay, this is what I think about hiding personal information from employers, psychiatrists, or anyone else in order to avoid any negative consequences due to being discriminated against; this goes for many kinds of personal information and not any specific one:

If someone can't act naturally — I mean without 'hiding' information about themselves from, say, their psychiatrist — out of fear that they might face negative reactions for doing so, I think there has to be at least one cause for their caution; people don't usually hide personal information from their psychiatrists. Actually, I'd argue that it's the opposite: most people would be willing to share their secrets with their psychiatrists more than with anyone else.

Here's an example to illustrate my thoughts on the issue:

1. A psychiatrist holds a bias against an unspecified object of discrimination — it can range from hating a particular clothing style for whatever reason all the way to racism.

2. Ben pays said psychiatrist a visit. After a few sessions, Ben feels comfortable revealing one of his secrets to his psychiatrist. Let's call the secret 'X'.

3. Just as Ben is about to reveal 'X' to his psychiatrist, he finds out during a conversation with the latter that his psychiatrist is biased against a particular concept that is relevant to 'X', and hence would most likely refuse to continue giving him professional help if he found out about 'X'.

4. Ben withdraws his original plan of telling his psychiatrist about 'X' in fear of no longer getting professional help, or he seeks psychiatric help from someone else that he could trust more than his current psychiatrist, whose bias prevents Ben from telling him about 'X'.

(1) directly affects (4): had the bias mentioned in (1) not been existent, Ben would have been able to reveal 'X' to his psychiatrist; the psychiatrist's bias affects how Ben approaches him, causing Ben to either seek professional help from a different person, or to continue receiving help from someone that he can't fully trust.

If (1) is unjustified, then Ben should have absolutely no reason to hide 'X' from his psychiatrist, someone who he is supposed to be able to trust and confide in. It's unfair, arbitrary, and stressful. He shouldn't have to "hide it" simply because of the arbitrary bias in (1). In my opinion, boycotting the unfairly discriminating psychiatrist and encouraging others to do the same would be the best course of action to take.

The above argument applies to all kinds of unjustified biases in the same manner that it does to the unspecified object of discrimination in 'X', as far as I'm concerned.

 

[The Sum of Awe]

I'm not saying they should live their lives in fear, for the hundredth time...

 

[Draka]

I'm not saying they should live their lives in fear, for the hundredth time...

If you are saying that they shouldn't open their mouths and speak as freely as heterosexuals do then yes, you are indeed saying that they should live their lives in fear. In fear of reprisal. In fear of losing their jobs. In fear of others finding out about them. In fear of being treated differently. If you are advocating for them to hide who they are when heterosexuals don't have to then that is exactly what you are saying.

 

[love]

Hello religious forum. Most of you don't remember me but I recognize a few of the posters. I found religious forum in Dec. of 2006. I have posted around 800 post. I have read thousands.
I recently started visiting RF again and figured one way to get a feel for the current posters was to start a post that people from all views are very passionate about their opinion.
I was on my lunch break last week and was driving past a Chik-Filet and the street was blocked by cars apparently being driven into the Chik-Filet. My first thought was that they must be giving away something other than a chicken sandwich. I heard some of the story when I got back to work. Although I don't share the passion many have on this topic I believed it was a topic where I could stir up some emotion.
I stole the title from an Archie Bunker type morning radio character who tells everyone he disagrees with to "Sit down, shut up, and quit ruining my life".
At this point I should probably tell everyone that I am more concerned with whether or not my banana tree will live than I am about what kind of sex anyone not under my roof is having.
I worked with a gay couple for a short time at a large restuarant. One was my department head. His partner was assistant manager. They did not work the same shift frequenty because they could really p*** each other off just like an old married couple. The assistant liked to bring up the fact that he sleep with the boss.
One night after a heated exchange the manager went home and the assistant pointed out that he would get his payback that night because he was going to be on top. He was a large man.
At first it kind of turned my stomach, but after I considered it for a minute it began to give me pleasure, though not of a sexual nature.

 

[Me Myself]

If you are saying that they shouldn't open their mouths and speak as freely as heterosexuals do then yes, you are indeed saying that they should live their lives in fear. In fear of reprisal. In fear of losing their jobs. In fear of others finding out about them. In fear of being treated differently. If you are advocating for them to hide who they are when heterosexuals don't have to then that is exactly what you are saying.

I dont agree with him on this, but I think he is saying that there is no reason for they to "put it in the faces" of everyone else.

I disagree that it is that simple because I have a friend who is bisexual and I know how difficult it is (or well, let`s say I have a better idea, at least ).

the ironic part of it is that it is natural human behaviour. If your enviroment pushes you strongly towards somewhere the far most popular positions will be Try your best to go with the flow to avoid pain, or completely rebel the flow, trying to push back.

I agree many homosexuals do the second, but 1- the have the right to 2- it is way more psychologically healthy than the first 3-Actions shouldn`t be taken to take this right away from them, but otherwise, actions should be taken for the society to stop trying to push them into the closet.

It`s dark in there, they are hungry and they diserve to see the light and be themselves.

Of course when they come out they are going to be like crazies, THEY WERE IN A FREAKING CLOSET

Most of that will tone itself down merely by not pushing against it (homosexuality) and the part that wont, will be more or less equivalent to the part that doesn`t change in heterosexuality: both homosexuals and heterosexuals are prone to putting in face stuff about their sexualities. Because every kind of person exists in general.

 

[Me Myself]

Conversations happen at work about home life. They just do. To pass the time. People may comment about their kids, how they need to take their car to the shop, how their in-laws are coming to visit and their spouse is making meatloaf for dinner. It is unreasonable and unfair to expect homosexual employees to have to constantly watch everything they say and to make up lies about their home life because they are afraid of repercussions should someone hear something they don't approve of. This is what was so wrong about about DADT in the military and why it was such a good thing when it was repealed. No one should have to worry about losing their jobs because their boss happens to overhear the conversation Dan has on break with another man about going out for their anniversary. Not when the exact same conversation wouldn't even be blinked at would it have occurred between Carrie and some man.

Exactly. This might be harder to understand to the more introverts of us, but people that are naturally extroverted, that like to have a good relationship with workmates, play make fun of and have fun with, ewill naturaly talk about their lifes and themselves.

Co worker: Hey Scottdozer! Checked the **** of Laura today? man she is hot.

homosexual Scot: Wait, you mean she had other body parts? you are now going to tell me she hd a head or something

*both laugh, Scot is kind of uncomfortable, but he is a social chameleon and he hides it well*

CW: So a was talking to Brenda and the others(co workers) and we are going to catch dinner now after work, you gonna come or Betty still has you by the balls?

Scott: Sorry man, I promised her we were going to see each other tonight.

Brenda: Hey Scott, you coming right? *looks at the look on face of CW 1 * Aw come on again? Bring her in! We are going to start to think you are ashamed of us.

Scott *takes a deep breath, and for the 11th time makes up an escuse of how shy Betty (who is actually called Bratt ) is, apologizes to the CWs, leaves a bad impression and others think he has an air of "better than thou" because he doesn`t hang out with them that much and stands a chat of bros before hoes from CW1. Goes to Brat`s house and talks about it, Bratt tells him to ditch the act, why should they care? But for the 300th Scott remembers Bratt that their boss might crash there, or find out by some misplaced twitter... his boss hates homos... Both sigh and try to make that not ruin the night. In his Heart, Scott just wants to come out and stop the lying. He likes this people, he likes his job, he likes Bratt.

Why can`t he just make them work in a better way?*


Hummm let me see... because of the homophobic mentality that should stop ASAP, because his boss is an *** and because we, as humans truly diserve a better world, but we have to actually make it that way.

 

[waitasec]

I'm not saying they should live their lives in fear, for the hundredth time...

your definitely not saying they should live their lives in freedom either...


so which is it...
to shut up and not cause waves or be who you are and play a role in the progression towards tolerance?

 

[waitasec]

Hello religious forum. Most of you don't remember me but I recognize a few of the posters. I found religious forum in Dec. of 2006. I have posted around 800 post. I have read thousands.
I recently started visiting RF again and figured one way to get a feel for the current posters was to start a post that people from all views are very passionate about their opinion.
I was on my lunch break last week and was driving past a Chik-Filet and the street was blocked by cars apparently being driven into the Chik-Filet. My first thought was that they must be giving away something other than a chicken sandwich. I heard some of the story when I got back to work. Although I don't share the passion many have on this topic I believed it was a topic where I could stir up some emotion.
I stole the title from an Archie Bunker type morning radio character who tells everyone he disagrees with to "Sit down, shut up, and quit ruining my life".
At this point I should probably tell everyone that I am more concerned with whether or not my banana tree will live than I am about what kind of sex anyone not under my roof is having.
I worked with a gay couple for a short time at a large restuarant. One was my department head. His partner was assistant manager. They did not work the same shift frequenty because they could really p*** each other off just like an old married couple. The assistant liked to bring up the fact that he sleep with the boss.
One night after a heated exchange the manager went home and the assistant pointed out that he would get his payback that night because he was going to be on top. He was a large man.
At first it kind of turned my stomach, but after I considered it for a minute it began to give me pleasure, though not of a sexual nature.

this more about being those two individuals being tactless...and if thats what gets you off...

 

[MysticSang'ha]

I'm not saying they should live their lives in fear, for the hundredth time...

There is no other reason for a queer to hide their relationships, to lie about who they're with when asked who they might be bringing to the company picnic, to stay quiet about their private lives, to refraing from posting pictures of them with their partners on social media sites......basically to hide all this from their coworkers than fear.

 

[Shadow Wolf]

Guys... just because you're gay doesn't mean you talk about your relationship status/sexuality all the time. It's not like a straight guy would go up to a heterophobic boss and say "I'm straight but i don't respect your beliefs so you can't fire me" Any normal person would keep the fact that they're gay or straight to their own selves, especially if it were at the risk of losing their job.

Nobody does that. But people do talk about their relationship, their significant other, and their families. It's just how people are. Some people even put up pictures of there family at work, if it is an option. But why should homosexuals be expected keep such information a secret, even though Joe is proud of his son for doing well in the science fair, and his husband Jim was just such a help with it that their son couldn't have done so well had Jim not been knowledgeable over whatever it was the project was over? A heterosexual person could gloat about the family achievement, why can't a homosexual person do the same?

I'm not saying they should live their lives in fear, for the hundredth time...

Maybe not fear, but you are saying we should just shut up and not pretend to have any romantic interests or family because someone may be weirded out by it. Alot of people are uneasy about biracial couples, but no one expects them to keep quiet about it. But not only that, you are saying that someone who is homosexual should never, ever, mention they are gay or be seen in public with their lover. In many places, and with many people, all it takes is knowledge, no matter how it is obtained, to make someones life a hell.

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

And I don't see why that's so hard to ask for, it's either someone's going to hurt you, or they don't give a flying hoot if you're gay, so why even bring it up? It's unnecessary and does a hell of a lot more harm than good.

Have you ever actually had a job? People reveal their orientation in all sorts of ways, from break room chit-chat ("any plans for the weekend?" "Yeah - my boyfriend and I are going to the ball game on Saturday") to necessary communication with their managers ("can I get Thursday off? My wife's mother just died and the funeral's that day").

 

[love]

this more about being those two individuals being tactless...and if thats what gets you off...

Wait a sec, did you even read my post?
This post is not about my felings, or what gets me off. I don't care.
Maybe the use of the word pleasure was a little strong.
Maybe it was the thought of the person who had been up my butt all day about every little thing getting a significant return on his investment gave me a certain amount of satisfaction.

 

[waitasec]

Wait a sec, did you even read my post?
This post is not about my felings, or what gets me off. I don't care.
Maybe the use of the word pleasure was a little strong.
Maybe it was the thought of the person who had been up my butt all day about every little thing getting a significant return on his investment gave me a certain amount of satisfaction.

oh i see, so you were letting off some steam....gotcha
but lets be fair about this...
why target homosexuals as a group in your OP and not tactless people instead

 

[9-10ths_Penguin]

Solution 1: Get my own car.

Solution 2: Wait to kiss until home.



And no, most couples do not do that, unless they're trying to show off. Why would they kiss just after work? It makes no sense. I've never saw it happen before at least, maybe it's just that I'm looking at the only few people who do not kiss when picking their lover up from work, or else it rarely happens.

Lots of people do that. In fact, it's so ubiquitous that the Toronto Transit Commission calls their passenger pick up/drop off areas "Kiss & Rides".