Me Myself
Back to my username
So I have a world history class (the subject is seen in English and we can only speak that language in the class)
The teacher assigned us to do a play about different viewpoints of cultures in history abuot one subject and my group chose the subject "gods" (swear to the gods I had nothing to do with it this time
)
So I Myself made the script. We will present it in class at monday.
WARNING: I made it to be fun (the teacher did say she wanted it to be fun) and so people in the class laugh. There are some caricaturizations of gods and historical figures and some sexual inuendo here and there.
It is also nothing of deep philosophical literary professional work, I just did it for fun.
All that said, the others of my group liked it and it was cool seeing them laugh as they read it first time (and many times as we practiced it and I made my hindu voice (I may or may not have been faking Raj from the Big Bang Theory )
So, without further a due, please read and hopefully enjoy.
Hindu : Hello? I am sorry, where am I?
Athena: Welcome human. I am Athena the goddess of wisdom and You are in the afterlife. Here to be a new servant of the allmighty God Waldo
Hindu : Waldo?! I am an hindu! What about Krishna and Shiva and..
Athena: They too are under our service
Hindu: but...?!
*a woman comes in and Athena now directs her gaze to her*
Athena: I am Athena, Goddess of Wisd...
*Sarah interrupts her*
Sarah: You are no Goddess to me or my people. I am Sarah the wife of Abraham and a prophet of his God.
Athena: Oh perfect, a jew.
Sarah: This God told me in a vision that here I could find out the solution to my problem. Every jewish man has gone missing and I have my people divided. Wives mourn for the memory of their husbands and I mourn too for the division, sorrow and suffering of my people.
Athena: Sure, you know the drill. Sign yourname here here and here and take this book and seek Waldo.* Athena gestures the "Where is Waldo" book to Sarah but she goes a step back and rejects it*
Sarah: No! We are not to follow the way of the heathens nor seek Gods in shapes made by men.
Athena : There is nothing I can do for you then.
* Sarah makes a face of resignation and goes away. The hindu sitll keeps his confused face.*
Hindu: Wow, she looked really grieved... I hope she finds her people
Athena: The jews are always grieved and never follow proper protocol.
Hindu: So... Who is this Waldo guy? Is he really the one from that book? With the red scarf and his red and white stripes? He looks like kind of a Hipster, Can I go talk to him?
Athena: Well...
*Into scene comes a woman with egyptian clothing and air of nobility*
Cleopatra: Athena darling!
Athena: Cleopatra...
Hindu: Oh! Cleopatra! You are like that really powerful Queen that prevented the romans from destroying Egypt with her mischievious sex appeal!
Cleopatra: Why make war whith the most powerful man alive if you can make love and have an heir? * she says looking at the Hindu. Then she looks back at Athena*
Cleopatra: So... Is he future Mr Wisdom eh? Finally decided to...?
Athena: I am virgin and I ll remain so.
Cleopatra: You are BORING, that's what you are.
Athena gives Cleopatra a severe look
Cleopatra: Relax, I came here with a serious issue, the type that you like.
* Athena rests her face on the desk. Cleopatra's voice turns grave*
Cleopatra: My temple has been destroyed by something that felt from the sky. Little after that some pests started taking over my people. I cant have them thinking little of me and our gods for that. I am after all the goddess of their eyes and worship.
Hindu x: Hum but shouldnt you then go with the other egyptian gods? Like the one with the falcon face?
Cleopatra: The egyptian gods are good and swell, but there are many pharaohs with many problems and I cant stand for burocracy right now. We are under attack and I need warriors now.
I' ll rise some monument in due time to Rah and give him the credit.
Athena: for my assistance?
Cleopatra: Okay, I got tired. With whom do I have to sleep with to get this over with?
A voice is heard and a man with blonde hair comes in *
Thor: Goddeses and mortals! Tremble and be in awe for the warrior of thunder, the son of Odin! the punisher of giants! the wielder of the hammer! THOR!
Hindu: He looked more powerful in the movies.* Athena face palms, Cleopatra looks interested*
Cleopatra : Hello there warrior...* she says on a flirty tone*
Thor: What do we have here?
Cleopatra: So you were talking something about some mighty hammer you got?
Thor: Hehe well. Yes, you see I was just fighting a battle a little while ago. I was attacked by a row of giants and I smith them all with the throwing of my trusthy hammer Mjolnir!
Athena: they were attacking you in a row? "Arches an eyebrow in incredulity*
Hindu: you are like the ancient times Chuck Norris!
Athena: well your men were sent somewhere by Waldo now and they will be returned when Waldo pleases.
* Thor makes a concerned look and Cleopatra speaks at him*
Thor: Where is Waldo now?!
Cleopatra: So... I was just talking to Athena about a problem I have that could use your hammer
Thor: My hammer? Oh ... Well... You know it IS a mighty hammer... Only the worthy are able to even lift it! Feel ing worthy? * he says with a sexual tone*
Cleopatra: I ll be waiting for you at my temple... After you win me the fight.
* Cleopatra leaves while Thor stares at her. When she is out he looks at Athena concerned*
Thor: I lost my hammer.
* Hindu guy starts to laugh. Athena facepalms again*
Hindu: please go and tell her that! *laugh more*
Thor: Its not funny! I went took a bunch of people near the desert to try and recover it and non has been able to lift it! I even offered them some wild boar in return and they said they didnt eat that. What kind men are those?!
Sarah: So you are the one who stole the men of Jehova!
Thor: I dont have time for you old woman! * he looks at Sarah*
Hindu: oh! That hammer could be what destroyed Cleopatra's temple! That is why the egyptians are having the pests, because the jew are held against their will in egypt again! * the others stare at him*
Hindu: what? i saw a couple of christian movies.
Thor: Oh no... I cant let her see me picking it up...
Sarah: That's enough * she says and gets out again*
Thor: Tell Waldo to do something about this now! Better yet, where is he!? I am speaking to him fist to face! *to Athena*
Athena: its not wise to raise your voice to the Goddess of victory!* she says getting up*
* they both look imposing as if trying to intimidate one another. Finally Athenea speaks*
Athenea: Get out
Thor: Yes ma'am! *. Completely submissive body language and quick response. He is almost getting out when he finds Cleopatra at the door with Sarah holding the hammer
Cleopatra: well, well, well... Look who we got here...
Thor: you lifted the hammer? But only those worthy of...!
Sarah: I was the mother of the first born jew child, I am more than worthy enough.
Thor: give it back to me!
Sarah: after I get my people back!
Thor: what do I care about them?! You can have them!
Cleopatra: and please get them out of my lands before we get another pest.
Hindu: why is everyone shouting?! I don’t understand a thing. I just came here so you can tell me in what to reincarnate this time!
Sarah sigh* Sarah: I am getting my people back
Athena sighs: well that is solved
Thor: So… we could still *suggestive but submissive body language*
Cleopatra: Shut up and follow me
Thor: yes Ma´am
*They both go out*
Hindu: Can I reincarnate in something simple and without religion?
Athena: You will have to talk to Waldo for that.
Hindu makes expression to be really fed up and confused.
Hindu: you can`t be serious?! Waldo this! Waldo that! This is the worst management I`ve ever seen and I come from India! Where do I find him?!
Athena: We don`t know
Athena: I don`t know.
Athena: I just do my best to keep the gods in order after defeating Zeus.
Hindu: But…?! Does Waldo exist anywhere outside your imagination?
Athena: I don`t know.
No one knows where is Waldo.
****
That`s it.
Now if you read till here, it is only proper to say something in the comments below
The teacher assigned us to do a play about different viewpoints of cultures in history abuot one subject and my group chose the subject "gods" (swear to the gods I had nothing to do with it this time
)So I Myself made the script. We will present it in class at monday.
WARNING: I made it to be fun (the teacher did say she wanted it to be fun) and so people in the class laugh. There are some caricaturizations of gods and historical figures and some sexual inuendo here and there.
It is also nothing of deep philosophical literary professional work, I just did it for fun.
All that said, the others of my group liked it and it was cool seeing them laugh as they read it first time (and many times as we practiced it and I made my hindu voice
(I may or may not have been faking Raj from the Big Bang Theory )So, without further a due, please read and hopefully enjoy.
Hindu : Hello? I am sorry, where am I?
Athena: Welcome human. I am Athena the goddess of wisdom and You are in the afterlife. Here to be a new servant of the allmighty God Waldo
Hindu : Waldo?! I am an hindu! What about Krishna and Shiva and..
Athena: They too are under our service
Hindu: but...?!
*a woman comes in and Athena now directs her gaze to her*
Athena: I am Athena, Goddess of Wisd...
*Sarah interrupts her*
Sarah: You are no Goddess to me or my people. I am Sarah the wife of Abraham and a prophet of his God.
Athena: Oh perfect, a jew.
Sarah: This God told me in a vision that here I could find out the solution to my problem. Every jewish man has gone missing and I have my people divided. Wives mourn for the memory of their husbands and I mourn too for the division, sorrow and suffering of my people.
Athena: Sure, you know the drill. Sign yourname here here and here and take this book and seek Waldo.* Athena gestures the "Where is Waldo" book to Sarah but she goes a step back and rejects it*
Sarah: No! We are not to follow the way of the heathens nor seek Gods in shapes made by men.
Athena : There is nothing I can do for you then.
* Sarah makes a face of resignation and goes away. The hindu sitll keeps his confused face.*
Hindu: Wow, she looked really grieved... I hope she finds her people
Athena: The jews are always grieved and never follow proper protocol.
Hindu: So... Who is this Waldo guy? Is he really the one from that book? With the red scarf and his red and white stripes? He looks like kind of a Hipster, Can I go talk to him?
Athena: Well...
*Into scene comes a woman with egyptian clothing and air of nobility*
Cleopatra: Athena darling!
Athena: Cleopatra...
Hindu: Oh! Cleopatra! You are like that really powerful Queen that prevented the romans from destroying Egypt with her mischievious sex appeal!
Cleopatra: Why make war whith the most powerful man alive if you can make love and have an heir? * she says looking at the Hindu. Then she looks back at Athena*
Cleopatra: So... Is he future Mr Wisdom eh? Finally decided to...?
Athena: I am virgin and I ll remain so.
Cleopatra: You are BORING, that's what you are.
Athena gives Cleopatra a severe look
Cleopatra: Relax, I came here with a serious issue, the type that you like.
* Athena rests her face on the desk. Cleopatra's voice turns grave*
Cleopatra: My temple has been destroyed by something that felt from the sky. Little after that some pests started taking over my people. I cant have them thinking little of me and our gods for that. I am after all the goddess of their eyes and worship.
Hindu x: Hum but shouldnt you then go with the other egyptian gods? Like the one with the falcon face?
Cleopatra: The egyptian gods are good and swell, but there are many pharaohs with many problems and I cant stand for burocracy right now. We are under attack and I need warriors now.
I' ll rise some monument in due time to Rah and give him the credit.
Athena: for my assistance?
Cleopatra: Okay, I got tired. With whom do I have to sleep with to get this over with?
A voice is heard and a man with blonde hair comes in *
Thor: Goddeses and mortals! Tremble and be in awe for the warrior of thunder, the son of Odin! the punisher of giants! the wielder of the hammer! THOR!
Hindu: He looked more powerful in the movies.* Athena face palms, Cleopatra looks interested*
Cleopatra : Hello there warrior...* she says on a flirty tone*
Thor: What do we have here?
Cleopatra: So you were talking something about some mighty hammer you got?
Thor: Hehe well. Yes, you see I was just fighting a battle a little while ago. I was attacked by a row of giants and I smith them all with the throwing of my trusthy hammer Mjolnir!
Athena: they were attacking you in a row? "Arches an eyebrow in incredulity*
Hindu: you are like the ancient times Chuck Norris!
Athena: well your men were sent somewhere by Waldo now and they will be returned when Waldo pleases.
* Thor makes a concerned look and Cleopatra speaks at him*
Thor: Where is Waldo now?!
Cleopatra: So... I was just talking to Athena about a problem I have that could use your hammer
Thor: My hammer? Oh ... Well... You know it IS a mighty hammer... Only the worthy are able to even lift it! Feel ing worthy? * he says with a sexual tone*
Cleopatra: I ll be waiting for you at my temple... After you win me the fight.
* Cleopatra leaves while Thor stares at her. When she is out he looks at Athena concerned*
Thor: I lost my hammer.
* Hindu guy starts to laugh. Athena facepalms again*
Hindu: please go and tell her that! *laugh more*
Thor: Its not funny! I went took a bunch of people near the desert to try and recover it and non has been able to lift it! I even offered them some wild boar in return and they said they didnt eat that. What kind men are those?!
Sarah: So you are the one who stole the men of Jehova!
Thor: I dont have time for you old woman! * he looks at Sarah*
Hindu: oh! That hammer could be what destroyed Cleopatra's temple! That is why the egyptians are having the pests, because the jew are held against their will in egypt again! * the others stare at him*
Hindu: what? i saw a couple of christian movies.
Thor: Oh no... I cant let her see me picking it up...
Sarah: That's enough * she says and gets out again*
Thor: Tell Waldo to do something about this now! Better yet, where is he!? I am speaking to him fist to face! *to Athena*
Athena: its not wise to raise your voice to the Goddess of victory!* she says getting up*
* they both look imposing as if trying to intimidate one another. Finally Athenea speaks*
Athenea: Get out
Thor: Yes ma'am! *. Completely submissive body language and quick response. He is almost getting out when he finds Cleopatra at the door with Sarah holding the hammer
Cleopatra: well, well, well... Look who we got here...
Thor: you lifted the hammer? But only those worthy of...!
Sarah: I was the mother of the first born jew child, I am more than worthy enough.
Thor: give it back to me!
Sarah: after I get my people back!
Thor: what do I care about them?! You can have them!
Cleopatra: and please get them out of my lands before we get another pest.
Hindu: why is everyone shouting?! I don’t understand a thing. I just came here so you can tell me in what to reincarnate this time!
Sarah sigh* Sarah: I am getting my people back
Athena sighs: well that is solved
Thor: So… we could still *suggestive but submissive body language*
Cleopatra: Shut up and follow me
Thor: yes Ma´am
*They both go out*
Hindu: Can I reincarnate in something simple and without religion?
Athena: You will have to talk to Waldo for that.
Hindu makes expression to be really fed up and confused.
Hindu: you can`t be serious?! Waldo this! Waldo that! This is the worst management I`ve ever seen and I come from India! Where do I find him?!
Athena: We don`t know
Athena: I don`t know.
Athena: I just do my best to keep the gods in order after defeating Zeus.
Hindu: But…?! Does Waldo exist anywhere outside your imagination?
Athena: I don`t know.
No one knows where is Waldo.
****
That`s it.
Now if you read till here, it is only proper to say something in the comments below
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