Sex education. And why people are ashamed of speaking of sex

[Estro Felino]

This thread is made up of two parts.
The first part is about sex education. I want to know what kind of education you received as kids. Be as outspoken as possible.

The second part is sexophobia, a psychological problems many, many people have. That is, they don't want to speak of sex. I don't mean of their sex life, I mean sex in general.
It often deals with people who do have a very satisfying sex life, but for many psychological reasons, they find awkward to speak of that topic.
I want to analyze why.

This is a psychology thread, so psychology and psychiatry experts, and physicians' insight and help is highly appreciated.

 

[Estro Felino]

As for sex education:
Honestly I had no idea what sex was, until the school provided us kids (I was in middle school) with a course of sex education. The teacher was a psychologist, the psychologist of the school.
Before that, I swear it, I did know that babies were made through making love.
But I thought that making love was cuddling and deep kissing, in bed.
Something involving saliva (LOL).

Then at 12, I frequented this sex education class.
Which was still very soft.
Then at 15, I guess it was 10th grade we had another course of sex education. There was a psychologist teaching us about contraception, menstrual cycle etc.,.,etc...
The next year, another course of sex education. This time, a sexologist. A very weird woman in her sixties with big green eyes, asking us kids about our sex life, and wondering why so many of us were still "virgins" or "singles".
It was both embarrassing and awkward since she expected us to accept the free condoms she had brought to us.

It was a very traumatizing experience, if I think about it.

 

[ChristineM]

I was brought up on a farm, copulation happened all the time. It was a meh! to me.

Telling the sex ed teacher "that's not how most animals do it" and other corrections didn't go down well.

 

[Father Heathen]

This thread is made us of two parts.
The first part is about sex education. I want to know what kind of education you received as kids. Be as outspoken as possible.

The second part is sexophobia, a psychological problems many, many people have. That is, they don't want to speak of sex. I don't mean of their sex life, I mean sex in general.
It often deals with people who do have a very satisfying sex life, but for many psychological reasons, they find awkward to speak of that topic.
I want to analyze why.

This is a psychology thread, so psychology and psychiatry experts, and physicians' insight and help is highly appreciated.

Wait, just yesterday you were accusing educators of being "obsessed with sex" while you defended those trying to censor its inclusion in curriculum.

But to answer your question, prudish attitudes toward sex have a lot to do with religion's influence upon culture.

 

[Estro Felino]

But to answer your question, prudish attitudes toward sex have a lot to do with religion's influence upon culture.

I don't think religion has anything to do with that.
I live in Catholiland, and you can't even imagine what I have heard and seen in the little town I grew up in.
Adults talking about sex all the time. At the bar. Men bragging with their own friends. About cheating on their own wives.

Or maybe you mean in Protestant environments?

Honestly I think it has to do with
A environment, and culture
B psychological mindset.

 

[Father Heathen]

I don't think religion has anything to do with that.
I live in Catholiland, and you can't even imagine what I have heard and seen in the little town I grew up in.
Adults talking about sex all the time. At the bar.

Or maybe you mean in Protestant environments?

It's definitely conservative christians here in the U.S. who are super prudish and view sex and nudity as something shameful and thus needs to be censored.

 

[Estro Felino]

It's definitely conservative christians here in the U.S. who are super prudish and view sex and nudity as something shameful and thus needs to be censored.

Interesting.
Don't you think that a very thorough curriculum of sex education in American middle school would help reduce the rate of teen pregnancies (and teen abortions)?

Do you mind me asking about your experience of sex education at school?

 

[wellwisher]

This thread is made us of two parts.
The first part is about sex education. I want to know what kind of education you received as kids. Be as outspoken as possible.

The second part is sexophobia, a psychological problems many, many people have. That is, they don't want to speak of sex. I don't mean of their sex life, I mean sex in general.
It often deals with people who do have a very satisfying sex life, but for many psychological reasons, they find awkward to speak of that topic.
I want to analyze why.

This is a psychology thread, so psychology and psychiatry experts, and physicians' insight and help is highly appreciated.

My sex education came from the streets, since it occurred before Liberalism commandeered education. That advice would come from friends, older brothers, young uncles, and older cousins, who also might also buy you beer at 13. They knew a teen was curious about adult games; sex, drinking, etc. and would help out to keep an eye on you. It is quite basic. I not sure why it ever needed a formal education, other than to create teacher union jobs or make it the problem worse. Today you can watch training films on the internet to polish your style; porn. There is a type of performance ritual.

Back in the day, it was not considered wise to talk about sex, if it was with someone you liked or loved, other than to say you have sex. Taking about it, among males, made your beloved seem more like an affair, and therefore up for grabs. If you speak of them as a bimbo, the dogs of the group would assume they were available. Telling sex stories was restricted to bimbos. Bimbos were not too close and you did not mind passing them around, to get out and move on. Girls may have different standards for sex gossip. It was also something you would not to talk to with new girls, since that would make you a dog and they would have to accept more responsibility. You were required to pretend no sex until later, to get sex; by pass their inhibition of being labeled.

It was also connected to being polite in public and not rubbing people faces in your good times. Showing off was more for you and could make some sensitive people squeamish, or even upset others, if their sex life did not add up for them.

We are now less of an intellectual culture with conscience and more of an entertainment culture, where the players like to show off an play games. But that seems counter productive for me. At this time in life, I tend to stay celibate most of the time. I had my fill and it would not be polite to speak of those times. My early unconscious mind research gave me mojo.

 

[Estro Felino]

My sex education came from the streets, since it occurred before Liberalism commandeered education. That advice would come from friends, older brothers, young uncles, and older cousins, who also might also buy you beer at 13. They knew a teen was curious about adult games; sex, drinking, etc. and would help out to keep an eye on you. It is quite basic. I not sure why it ever needed a formal education, other than to create teacher union jobs or make it the problem worse. Today you can watch training films on the internet to polish your style; porn. There is a type of performance ritual.

Internet is filled with misinformation.
Especially about contraception.
And then people wonder why the teen pregnancy rate is still so high.

Back in the day, it was not considered wise to talk about sex, if it was with someone you liked or loved, other than to say you have sex. Taking about it, among males, made your beloved seem more like an affair, and therefore up for grabs. If you speak of them as a bimbo, the dogs of the group would assume they were available. Telling sex stories was restricted to bimbos. Bimbos were not too close and you did not mind passing them around, to get out and move on. Girls may have different standards for sex gossip. It was also something you would not to talk to with new girls, since that would make you a dog and they would have to accept more responsibility. You were required to pretend no sex until later, to get sex; by pass their inhibition of being labeled.

Honestly I have remarked how the word sex is a taboo itself, in the US.
In Scandinavia sex is like saying ice cream or something like that. A very normal word.

My country is not that disinhibited, but sort of.

It was also connected to being polite in public and not rubbing people faces in your good times. Showing off was more for you and could make some sensitive people squeamish, or even upset others, if their sex life did not add up for them.

One can talk about sex in a very classy way.

We are now less of an intellectual culture with conscience and more of an entertainment culture, where the players like to show off an play games. But that seems counter productive for me. At this time in life, I tend to stay celibate most of the time. I had my fill and it would not be polite to speak of those times. My early unconscious mind research gave me mojo.

The opposite, I'd say.
Sex is something sublimed nowadays because people talk about it tranquilly.
It has been demythologized.

 

[JustGeorge]

Some people like to talk about sex. Some don't.

I don't really meet people that are ashamed of it, they just don't really feel like disclosing.

Most people don't come out of the bathroom announcing what they did, either. There's a lot of things we don't announce because most don't find it interesting.

 

[Father Heathen]

Interesting.
Don't you think that a very thorough curriculum of sex education in American middle school would help reduce the rate of teen pregnancies (and teen abortions)?

Yes, of course it would. Teen pregnancy rates are significantly higher in more conservative states where sex ed is sorely lacking:

Do you mind me asking about your experience of sex education at school?

It was in a rural community in a 'red' state during the 90's, so it was ****.

 

[Stevicus]

This thread is made up of two parts.
The first part is about sex education. I want to know what kind of education you received as kids. Be as outspoken as possible.

The second part is sexophobia, a psychological problems many, many people have. That is, they don't want to speak of sex. I don't mean of their sex life, I mean sex in general.
It often deals with people who do have a very satisfying sex life, but for many psychological reasons, they find awkward to speak of that topic.
I want to analyze why.

This is a psychology thread, so psychology and psychiatry experts, and physicians' insight and help is highly appreciated.

I'm not sure what it is, although in general, I find most people aren't comfortable talking about any bodily functions. Nobody wants to hear me describe my last bout of diarrhea in graphic detail. If I have to tell a doctor about it, that's what they're paid for, but it's not a conversation to have in polite company.

 

[JustGeorge]

@Estro Felino , I do wonder what group of people you're meaning here, regarding the second part of your OP.

You live amongst people who love to discuss sex, you say. This forum, which is US based, has not only a public sexuality forum, it has a private eros forum where people who want to hear the details can.

I can't think of anyone I know that feels that they want to discuss sex but are unable to do so.

What's the problem?

 

[Estro Felino]

Some people like to talk about sex. Some don't.

I don't really meet people that are ashamed of it, they just don't really feel like disclosing.

Most people don't come out of the bathroom announcing what they did, either. There's a lot of things we don't announce because most don't find it interesting.

I am not speaking of one's sex life.
I am speaking of sex, in general.

For example...how many parents are ashamed of teaching their kids sex education in a healthy way?
Many.
Too many.
That's why they expect the school to organize classes of sex education.
Fortunately in my country sex education is taught both in middle school and in the high school.

Sex has never embarrassed me, maybe because I have always differentiated between love and sex.
They are two different things.
It preoccupies me when people think they are the same thing.

 

[Estro Felino]

@Estro Felino , I do wonder what group of people you're meaning here, regarding the second part of your OP.

You live amongst people who love to discuss sex, you say. This forum, which is US based, has not only a public sexuality forum, it has a private eros forum where people who want to hear the details can.

I can't think of anyone I know that feels that they want to discuss sex but are unable to do so.

What's the problem?

This thread is not about sex.
It's about psychology,
Why certain people are ashamed of speaking of sex.

And it turns out, as a great European psychologist said, that the most sexually active people are the ones who are the most sexophobic.
As a self-defense mechanism.

 

[Estro Felino]

I'm not sure what it is, although in general, I find most people aren't comfortable talking about any bodily functions. Nobody wants to hear me describe my last bout of diarrhea in graphic detail. If I have to tell a doctor about it, that's what they're paid for, but it's not a conversation to have in polite company.

I grew up in a small town surrounded by hills and in a small town surrounded by hills, there's no such a thing as privacy.
It's all public...
Everyone knew about everyone's sex life (or lack thereof)


I bet you would feel extremely uncomfortable with Greg's parents, here....right ? (Streisand and Hoffmann)

 

[JustGeorge]

I am not speaking of one's sex life.
I am speaking of sex, in general.

For example...how many parents are ashamed of teaching their kids sex education in a healthy way?
Many.
Too many.
That's why they expect the school to organize classes of sex education.
Fortunately in my country sex education is taught both in middle school and in the high school.

I don't know why, in that case. I suspect cultural. Probably the same reason @Stevicus can't talk about his diarreah and we have to wear pants to the grocery store.

Sex ed is taught here, too. I wish my mom would have left it all to the school. I didn't want to hear about it from Mom. I'd have preferred to hear about her loose stools, if I had to choose.

Sex has never embarrassed me, maybe because I have always differentiated between love and sex.
They are two different things.
It preoccupies me when people think they are the same thing.

That's what I hear, and understand. As a person who doesn't really feel much sexual attraction without a strong attachment to the person, this confuses me. Not that I don't agree and understand that it is not this way for most people.

If anything, I wish that had been mentioned as I got older, and that it was okay to feel that way. I caught a lot of **** as an adult for not being okay with casual sex(for myself, I am indifferent to what others do).

 

[Estro Felino]

Yes, of course it would. Teen pregnancy rates are significantly higher in more conservative states where sex ed is sorely lacking:

It was in a rural community in a 'red' state during the 90's, so it was ****.

Which confirms what I have always thought.,
Repression causes transgression.
That's why a healthy sex education is what high-schoolers need.

 

[JustGeorge]

And it turns out, as a great European psychologist said, that the most sexually active people are the ones who are the most sexophobic.
As a self-defense mechanism.

I find this interesting.

How does that work? What does a sexually active sexophobe look like?

 

[Estro Felino]

I find this interesting.

How does that work? What does a sexually active sexophobe look like?

That's a theory.
A theory has zero scientific value.