1. Welcome to Religious Forums, a friendly forum to discuss all religions in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to get access to the following site features:
    • Reply to discussions and create your own threads.
    • Our modern chat room. No add-ons or extensions required, just login and start chatting!
    • Access to private conversations with other members.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon!

Schizophrenia

Discussion in 'Poetry' started by Geoff-Allen, Sep 19, 2017.

  1. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2014
    Messages:
    9,100
    Ratings:
    +1,806
    Religion:
    Universalist
    Here is a heavily-edited version of a MUCH longer poem I wrote when I was really "psychotic".

    I realise most folks have a fairly brief attention-span these days :)

    Schizophrenia

    I used to walk down the street
    And scream at everyone I meet
    So they locked me away
    From the world every day

    I crawled through the walls
    So they showed me some normals
    They strangled my mind
    To help me unwind

    I used to think I was a robot from outer space
    With wires in my head and a little plastic face
    I used to believe I had such magic powers
    Which I would gladly practice for many hours

    I am a human experimental life-form
    My blood flows backwards to keep me warm
    People ask me if I can save the world
    I tell them to leave all the flags unfurled
     
    • Winner Winner x 4
    • Like Like x 3
    • Useful Useful x 2
  2. robocop (actually)

    robocop (actually) Well-Known Member
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2013
    Messages:
    2,496
    Ratings:
    +401
    Religion:
    newly baptized into Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
    I would like to share my story. I totally feel your poem.

    My mental health disorder, schizophrenia, showed when I ran away from BYU to go to UCLA. I had religious problems. I felt as though my parents didn't want to help.

    Several years passed as I struggled with delusions. Sometimes I wouldn't take my medications. I did inappropriate things to people. Sometimes it seemed to me that my voices/delusions were really God. I almost got expelled from BYU twice, but did get a Bachelors and Masters Degree in Math.

    Taking medicine helped, although I have heard voices for quite some time. Medicine helps with the illness. Social work helps me with safe skills. Having my religious views in checks helps me in my recovery process.

    I would like to share with you what is going right with my life and how I am experiencing recovery. I get along with my parents. I try to be a friend to every one, I don't respond inappropriately to things as much.

    I would like to give a message of hope. Medication and social work helps people. They can fit into society better. I am glad I could get help.

    I ask that others please take care of the mentally ill and allow them to blossom.:)
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 2
    • Like Like x 1
    • Funny Funny x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
  3. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2014
    Messages:
    9,100
    Ratings:
    +1,806
    Religion:
    Universalist
    Thanks for that - wrote it a long time ago - I was diagnosed in 1983!

    I am MUCH better now ... thankfully!

    I would echo your sentiments - here's hoping!

    Thanks for sharing!
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  4. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2014
    Messages:
    9,100
    Ratings:
    +1,806
    Religion:
    Universalist
    I guess all we can really do is hope & pray that some day we will all be living in a saner, kinder and more compassionate world!

    Wishing you all the very best!

    Keep posting - if you feel like sharing ...
     
  5. robocop (actually)

    robocop (actually) Well-Known Member
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2013
    Messages:
    2,496
    Ratings:
    +401
    Religion:
    newly baptized into Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
    Well, at my worst I felt my brain was full of goop. I felt, "How can I get into Celestial Kingdom (Mormon highest degrees of heaven) when I am like this?" It was like my brain was being balanced on a knife. The knife couldn't cut through and had to balance on the same time. I would run between trees to make sure that cars couldn't run me over when I walked. There's a lot more I can share.
     
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
  6. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2014
    Messages:
    9,100
    Ratings:
    +1,806
    Religion:
    Universalist
    Thanks for sharing!

    I would like to hear more ...

    All the best!
     
  7. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2014
    Messages:
    9,100
    Ratings:
    +1,806
    Religion:
    Universalist
    Here's a little somethig I wrote in the middle-of-the-night -

    Madness

    Enjoy!
     
  8. robocop (actually)

    robocop (actually) Well-Known Member
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2013
    Messages:
    2,496
    Ratings:
    +401
    Religion:
    newly baptized into Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
    Well basically I saw and heard things in many ways and often jumped to conclusions. Acting on things in my brain instead of ignoring them which I have lately learned to do led me to do many things that people saw me as crazy from. I felt very inadequate.
     
  9. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2014
    Messages:
    9,100
    Ratings:
    +1,806
    Religion:
    Universalist
    Me too!

    Glad you are better!

    :)
     
  10. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2014
    Messages:
    9,100
    Ratings:
    +1,806
    Religion:
    Universalist
    Here's a few of my old poems ...

    One day soon

    One day soon
    I'll fly away
    One day soon
    I'll learn to pray
    One day soon
    I'll stop my screaming
    One day soon
    Or am I dreaming
    One day soon
    We'll stop our fighting
    One day soon

    One day soon

    One day soon
     
  11. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2014
    Messages:
    9,100
    Ratings:
    +1,806
    Religion:
    Universalist
    The Asylum

    There is a place where I can be free
    It is the local psychiatric facility
    Free to think my craziest thoughts
    And talk to lunatics of various sorts

    Free from the straitjacket of normality
    Free from the absurd requirements of confromity
    Free from those sad and desperate rational folk
    Free to enjoy the ultimate joke
     
    • Like Like x 1
  12. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2014
    Messages:
    9,100
    Ratings:
    +1,806
    Religion:
    Universalist
    Twentieth Century Man

    Every time I look around
    I don't even know if I'm mad
    I don't even scream
    And I don't even bleed
    I walk around all day
    With a totally shattered mind
    I live my life
    In more blindness than the blind
    I belong in an asylum
    I belong in a jungle
    I live in a madhouse
    I crawl through a daily nightmare
    I blend in with the crowd
    They're all crazy too
    We need a messiah
    Or possibly a few
    We delude ourselves daily
    We close our eyes to the pain
    Keep yourself busy
    Go for a walk in the rain
    My life has been diluted and polluted
    I have become psychotic and anti-biotic
    I drown in your rivers
    I swim in your pool
    I climb every ladder
    I laugh like a fool
    I am a cork in the ocean
    I wander round in slow motion
    I am the confused and the misused
    I talk in riddles and head for the middles
    I am an artificial lifeform in an experimental world
    My thoughts are like rocks through a window hurled
    I drift randomly through the chaos around me
    I'll take another pill as the demons surround me
    I sleep in the ugly shadows of the city
    I fly like a dragon through the night so pretty
    I stroll all around this barren desolation
    I watch people gathering to share their isolation
    I am a symptom of the twentieth century
    Make sure you pray for all those like me
     
  13. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2014
    Messages:
    9,100
    Ratings:
    +1,806
    Religion:
    Universalist
  14. robocop (actually)

    robocop (actually) Well-Known Member
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2013
    Messages:
    2,496
    Ratings:
    +401
    Religion:
    newly baptized into Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
    You're a great poet: thank you.
     
  15. Katzpur

    Katzpur Not your average Mormon

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2005
    Messages:
    29,424
    Ratings:
    +5,399
    Religion:
    LDS Christian
    Seriously? Were you actually LDS at one time? You've been on RF for four years, and yet I never even had a clue.
     
    • Informative Informative x 1
  16. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2014
    Messages:
    9,100
    Ratings:
    +1,806
    Religion:
    Universalist
    Thanks.

    I write for my own enjoyment. If other people get "something" out of reading them, that is an absolute bonus!

    Cheers!
     
  17. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2014
    Messages:
    9,100
    Ratings:
    +1,806
    Religion:
    Universalist
    Here's one I wrote today while enjoying a nice little walk ...

    Troubled species

    Enjoy!
     
  18. Geoff-Allen

    Geoff-Allen Resident megalomaniac

    Joined:
    Sep 9, 2014
    Messages:
    9,100
    Ratings:
    +1,806
    Religion:
    Universalist
    From a great little book called "The Troubled Mind":

    Since the beginnings of recorded history, man has been fascinated with the insane, with their deranged feeling, thinking, and behaviour. Insane people with fanciful delusions have at times attracted large numbers of adherents, who looked upon their psychotic leaders as prophets or as saviours of some sort. The alluring properties of the "prophet's" message may be more than just a beckoning of a way to escape from the boredom of everyday life. I suspect that many followers are riveted by a peculiarly intoxicating quality of psychotic ecstasy conveyed by the "mad" leader.

    The psychiatric disease that converts man into an other-worldly creature - at once wiser than the wisest of the sane and yet so deeply troubled that he suffers more than a terminal cancer patient - is surely schizophrenia. Because of his bizarre loss of contact with everyday reality, the schizophrenic can appeal to us as a messiah bearing the message of the infinite. For our conception of the universe is bounded by the straitjacket of conventional thinking processes. A schizophrenic's self-perception is so fragmented that he seems to function at a different plane of consciousness from the rest of humanity. Some psychiatrists who have dealt extensively with schizophrenics even wonder whether the schizophrenic's "psychotic" perception of the world might not conform more to ultimate reality than does our sane vision.

    End of quote!

    I used think that being psychotic made me "special".

    Now I realise that was just a big ego trip! :)

    Enjoy your day!
     
  19. robocop (actually)

    robocop (actually) Well-Known Member
    Premium Member

    Joined:
    Oct 24, 2013
    Messages:
    2,496
    Ratings:
    +401
    Religion:
    newly baptized into Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
    I have been Mormon for like 25 years of my life and read the Book of Mormon like 15-20 times and served a service mission. However I probably would have believed Raelism over Mormonism at any time had I known enough about it. I also took a lot of religion classes at BYU. I don't usually introduce the Book of Mormon because it is supposed to come forth in a time of great wickedness and I don't feel that that's where people are right now. Hmmm... come to think of it maybe we should be promoting the Book of Mormon.

    I could do a Book of Mormon and aliens thread with quite a few posts!
     
  20. Katzpur

    Katzpur Not your average Mormon

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2005
    Messages:
    29,424
    Ratings:
    +5,399
    Religion:
    LDS Christian
    Holy cow. :D

    No doubt. ;)
     
Loading...