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Responses: Meow Mix and Debater Slayer one-on-one

Discussion in 'Discussion of One-on-One Debates' started by Snow White, Jul 23, 2021.

  1. Snow White

    Snow White Veteran Member

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    Their thread looks like it's going to be a really good thread, will probably make forum history like the thread @Debater Slayer made regarding the history of RF.

    I hope it's okay for us to be the vocal observers of the Debater Slayer / @Meow Mix in this thread. My intuition tells me that in the old days before I joined, that members may have used the Responses board here to make responses to discussions and debates. So in a way, I wanted to revive a classic, if that's okay, even if said classic was from before I joined RF two years ago.

    Now for my own journey. I'll keep it brief because I don't want to steal the whole spotlight. Honestly, not everyone may have noticed, but I've had a lack of trust of people my first 1.5+ years on the forum. It's taken me an incredibly long time to warm up. It really has. What I like about RF, is that no one seems mad at me that I took around three 3+ month breaks from the forum, one or two of which were without giving people a heads up. I've had some incredibly big life decisions to think over during that time. It was something I felt I had to do, yet I also regretted it too. Here's to some more years on RF, for me and all of us. And I'll try to not make mine quite as turbulent as things in my life have kind of worked out, and as far as RF goes, I suppose it seems every month, the regulars find out new things about each other, and that can sometimes result in better getting along with each other, rather than just "talking at" each other.
     
    #1 Snow White, Jul 23, 2021
    Last edited: Jul 23, 2021
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  2. Meow Mix

    Meow Mix Chatte Féministe

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    I'm glad to be back in an era that you're here, certainly. I enjoy that RF is a community as much as it is a message board.
     
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  3. Snow White

    Snow White Veteran Member

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    Yep. There is one particular thread I made that I wanted to thank members for not only keeping a cool head about, but for being extremely supportive of my work. Here is the thread:

    Being RF posters
     
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  4. Snow White

    Snow White Veteran Member

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    For me as a person, it's about the same - positive, neutral, negative experiences - but they're all enlightening. I'm a little emotional these days due to being on hormones. However, if someone makes me cry for some reason, my relationship with them isn't over. I know that I will come back stronger, and I'm more the type that bends but doesn't break. The only things I have a difficult time tolerating is singling a person out, and manipulation. The latter two are things you have to pay careful attention about, because some online circles with a lot of women, I find that there's sometimes where one or two women, who had a very rough life, will sometimes engage in games with people in the group. You mostly see this on other sites.
     
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  5. Snow White

    Snow White Veteran Member

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    I agree with you there! Here are my experiences on this subject:

    Prior to gender dysphoria, try not to be mad at me - but I may have thought in those terms a bit. Then gender dysphoria happened and it was like my brain had changed or started to change. I stopped thinking in terms of friends zones. The things mentioned now make me cringe as a trans female. But...

    On dating sites when I was a cis male, however.... the women never told the man (me at the time) much about what they wanted. I'm not blaming the woman per se. What I'm saying is that the women may have had reasons to be cautious to tell, so the men never really found out. Could have even been a cycle of the two hurting each other too.

    When I started transitioning, I was honest to women that I was transitioning, even if my appearance didn't pass as a female. When I identified as trans female, the women were very much more open and would tell me exactly what they wanted. I think they started to see educating men as hopeless due to bad experiences, but were willing to share their thoughts to people who wished to identify as female, and possibly try more to understand them.
     
  6. Meow Mix

    Meow Mix Chatte Féministe

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    I would not be mad! Often times these outlooks and perspectives might be toxic but they're not held consciously; they're a result of not thinking things through from different perspectives. I myself would use or accept the term in high school. Until we think about things, they seem to make sense sometimes, and we don't see the harm.

    I have no doubt that this might be a thing, though lesbian dating world on apps is probably a different kind of experience.

    I do know that it's unfortunately the case that it just takes a few toxic men to instill fear into women. I've given fake numbers to men that I was afraid to reject openly (and then they'll try calling it then and there -- boy, bye! I'm already walking away hopefully, and somewhere safe!) There are some men out there that will become violent and aggressive as soon as something isn't going their way. But before that happens, they may seem completely normal: it's not possible to just gauge whether something is confidence or toxic entitlement.

    When I was on social media you wouldn't believe the kinds of DMs I would get. My friends still get them all the time, it's actually sadly funny to go through them, it's like watching a train wreck. (I will say that there is absolutely nothing wrong with someone shooting their shot, you miss 100% of the shots you don't take after all. But no means no.)

    So I think all of this probably spills over to app dating world. If I were dating men I would probably be very cautious as well, and it's really unfortunate for all the genuinely good men out there that this minority of absolutely toxic garbage men ruin that for the rest of men.
     
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  7. Snow White

    Snow White Veteran Member

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    I got them after identifying as trans female. One night, my dating ad got featured on a site, and I got like 80 messages. Usually it's more like 15-20. Some of the men looking for a newly transitioning trans female, can sometimes be a little bit weird.
     
  8. Meow Mix

    Meow Mix Chatte Féministe

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    I've had my arms grabbed hard and pinned to a wall for not only rejecting a man's advances, but because he did not understand that I wasn't choosing not to say anything to him (obviously post-aphonia). I had his hand marks on my arms as bruises for days, all because he felt entitled for me to speak to him and accept his advances.

    That's not even the only experience, I'm just picking one off the top of my head.

    I know that men like this don't represent men. But he seemed completely normal prior to doing this. And it's stuff like this that makes us afraid to just be completely open about rejection or what we want.
     
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  9. Snow White

    Snow White Veteran Member

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    Yeah. I'll certainly have a lot of considerations should I decide to date men. Plenty of stories in the news about guys panicking and killing trans females while on a date with them.
     
  10. Meow Mix

    Meow Mix Chatte Féministe

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    Sounds like a fetish maybe. I don't judge fetishes or kinks that don't hurt anybody; but from the sounds of it, sounds like they were pushing boundaries, which isn't okay.
     
  11. Meow Mix

    Meow Mix Chatte Féministe

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    Oof, I hadn't even thought about that. Yeah. Another result of toxic masculinity: men lashing out because they feel like they're supposed to feel shame for something that should be beautiful.
     
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  12. Snow White

    Snow White Veteran Member

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    If you get 80 messages, 50 will naturally be ones heading for delete. Or block sometimes because the men will sometimes message multiple times despite you not responding.
     
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  13. Meow Mix

    Meow Mix Chatte Féministe

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    Haha yes, this I've experienced on social media. Multiple "hey" messages and then something like "*****." I have never understood this behavior.
     
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  14. Snow White

    Snow White Veteran Member

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    I've just always hoped to some day have the bravery that, when a man sends a picture of his anaconda as a first message - I send one back. He'll say, "What's that?" I'll say, "Mine."
     
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  15. Meow Mix

    Meow Mix Chatte Féministe

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    Also multiple offers of money for various kinds of favors.

    When I stripped, I'd also get all kinds of offers for things. Like I said I don't judge, but some of them were very strange. Like wanting me to step on bugs.
     
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  16. Snow White

    Snow White Veteran Member

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    I've also had men tell me I was beautiful even when I posted my worst picture - sometimes on purpose to test.
     
  17. Meow Mix

    Meow Mix Chatte Féministe

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    Hmm, well in this case, that is a matter of the eye of the beholder though.

    I see all of my own flaws but I understand other people don't, so if I post what I think is a bad picture (like this avatar!) I get compliments on it.
     
  18. Snow White

    Snow White Veteran Member

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    I see. I've never gotten a compliment about my more androgynous / feminine pictures on RF. As for whether I got any weird offers as a man looking masculine in the past and posting masculine pics, well I won't go there, but ummmm.... yes.
     
  19. Meow Mix

    Meow Mix Chatte Féministe

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    I say when you're cold's ran its course do a glam up and treat yourself ^.^ It may be different if a picture is posted with a filter possibly. I couldn't tell you, I know very little about all the social stuff encountered while transitioning.
     
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