Pulled Yourself Up By Your Own Bootstraps? Had help?

[Brickjectivity]

Hey friends. A lot of people here may have had experiences in which they were completely down and out and somehow managed to find their way back into life. Maybe they had help, and maybe they also found solutions which helped them. Lets hear about how it happened. What helped? What didn't? What changed?

 

[Brickjectivity]

By the way this isn't a joke thread, and we aren't in the Games & Jokes section.

 

[Orbit]

If one is truly down and out, it requires help from others to climb out of a hole.

 

[Sunstone]

I distrust anyone who says they climbed up on their own out of being completely down and out. Fantasies aside, the reality is it almost always takes a support group to do that.

But if you yourself are in those circumstances, one of the main things you can do for yourself is to ruthlessly purge yourself of any and all feelings of self-pity. Those feelings are your enemy.

 

[Daemon Sophic]

If one is truly down and out, it requires help from others to climb out of a hole.

Agreed. I’ve had my career wrecked in the past, but through the grace of a friend and colleague, as well as others being willing to take a chance on me, I’ve been able to climb out of that hole.

 

[Jumi]

Back when I was clinically depressed there were times that I got no unemployment benefits or anything, I had zero energy to do things. There were two people who were helpful, one in keeping me alive through it and another in accepting me despite how garbage I was at the time. People who were supposed to help were worse than useless. A lot of human contact was people telling me they cut my social security or unemployment benefits due to inactivity or saying useless things like depression doesn't exist.

Mostly I credit learning a new form of meditation for getting out of that. It was my miracle drug. I had assumed I would always live feeling like chit (and that life wouldn't last very long) before I learned it...

 

[Brickjectivity]

Mostly I credit learning a new form of meditation for getting out of that. It was my miracle drug.

What meditation was it?

 

[Brickjectivity]

I distrust anyone who says they climbed up on their own out of being completely down and out.

Yeah I would, too; although I once worked with an older guy in a kitchen who claimed he had. He was an old man who talked about how in his youth he'd been a sailor. Then, for whatever reason, he had become homeless and spent many years homeless. He said that one day he decided to pull himself up by his bootstraps.

 

[Brickjectivity]

If one is truly down and out, it requires help from others to climb out of a hole.

I think yes, although some people are too proud to accept help or perhaps too self hating.

 

[Ellen Brown]

Hey friends. A lot of people here may have had experiences in which they were completely down and out and somehow managed to find their way back into life. Maybe they had help, and maybe they also found solutions which helped them. Lets hear about how it happened. What helped? What didn't? What changed?

I came from "Po white trash, down and out family", but there have been several places along the way that there were blessings that I could not explain. As to the reasons, I can not explain. Part of it may have been in NOT developing an attitude of entitlement? Was all of it due to a faith in God? I think so. Always show thankfulness.

 

[Nakosis]

Hey friends. A lot of people here may have had experiences in which they were completely down and out and somehow managed to find their way back into life. Maybe they had help, and maybe they also found solutions which helped them. Lets hear about how it happened. What helped? What didn't? What changed?

So my parents moved out of state and left me behind.
I was staying out in a wooded area near Denver. I found a plastic sheet/tarp with a couple of tree branches I made a tent out of. I was camped on a hillside, overgrown with brush, so I wasn't easy to find.

I broke into local school cafeterias for food. Some other kids entered the school once, I assume through the door I had broke into, and vandalized the school.

So the local police was looking for a group of vandals. The school was asking for information on any one who was breaking into the schools. There was a group of kids who knew about me who went to that school. They often came by my camp and I usually shared whatever food I managed to haul away with them.

One of the kids turned me in for a reward.

I was out in the open just walking about, someone person came by along the trail I was on and asked my name. I told them, this was a detective who immediately realized I was the person they were looking for. He told me the police had been looking for me for two weeks.

Anyway I was arrested and placed in Juvenile Hall for a few weeks. Once the schools learn of my situation they dropped all charges. Then I was transferred to a home for troubled youth. The people at the home gave me training and helped me find my first job. They drove me to interviews, gave me advice on how to deal effectively with job interviews. Eventually I turned 18 and was told I'd have to leave the home since I was now officially an adult. They helped me find my first apartment as well.

What helped? I was a kid, hadn't had a job before or had to find a place to live. So really helping me get my first job and first place to live. I suppose I should also thank the kid who turned me in.

I was the only "White" kid in the program. All of the other kids, all of the counselors who helped me were either Black or Latino. The other kids initially picked on me/mocked me. I was pretty stoic about the whole thing. Never retaliated, or told on anyone so eventually they accepted me. Some even told me they liked me.

What changed, having a job and a place to live. After that I was able to figure out things on my own.

What didn't help? God/religion. People told me I should pray, I didn't. Told me to have faith, didn't really understand what they meant by faith at the time. I mean I knew about Christianity but it never occured to me that God intervened in the affairs of men. It's not that it was negative or detrimental, I just didn't partake in the religious stuff that any of the adults were advising me towards.

 

[Wu Wei]

First marriage ended on divorce
I had returned to college to finish my degree because there was no way we would ever have anything without me making more money due to her exuberance when it came to spending money
First wife left, but not before she maxed out my credit cards and stole the bank account
I had only a part time job at that time
Had to quit school
Got a second part time job
Then discovered she was spreading a whole lot of lies about me to everyone we knew.
I learned how to suppress every emotion I had...by turning them to anger and suppressing that anger. For the most part I was a Vulcan
One night I got cut off in traffic and I exploded with blind rage and started chasing the guy who cut me off because I was going to kill him, literally.
After passing the street my parents lived on I had this thought, guess they will be visiting me in prison
That is when reality hit me and I stopped and sat in my truck and shook for about 30 minutes.
Still went on suppressing anger, until I meant another woman who I told this story to, suggested I might need to seek professional help
I did eventually take her advice.... I was told my ability to suppress all my emotions by turning them to anger was rather amazing
It was only out done by how incredibly unhealthy it was. And the blind rage was to be expected
It got better from there

 

[Valjean]

I distrust anyone who says they climbed up on their own out of being completely down and out. Fantasies aside, the reality is it almost always takes a support group to do that.

But if you yourself are in those circumstances, one of the main things you can do for yourself is to ruthlessly purge yourself of any and all feelings of self-pity. Those feelings are your enemy.

There's always a social infrastructure to avail yourself of, and usually groups or agencies that will help -- if you can find them. Few people need to retire to the woods to live as hunter-gatherers.

 

[ChristineM]

Hey friends. A lot of people here may have had experiences in which they were completely down and out and somehow managed to find their way back into life. Maybe they had help, and maybe they also found solutions which helped them. Lets hear about how it happened. What helped? What didn't? What changed?

I have been so far down as to consider suicide as the only exit. Friends pulled me back.

But thats not what i want to talk about. I have a relative with schizophrenia. He is a very clever guy but lets pressure of work get to him. 3 times now his illness has caused him to loose everything and twice he has pulled himself back to among top in his field. Unfortunately towards the end of last year the illness hit again*, within a month he had to give up his job, his apartment, his car and most of his furniture and possessions. For the last 2 months he has been living in a friends spare room with no money (this week he receives his first benefit payment). His recovery may take a few years but i have no doubt he will be up there with a fantastic job, a cool apartment and a decent car... They are his target whenever he is down.

Seems the key is set yourself a reachable target and hit it. As soon as you can.

* When i say hits again, the schizophrenia is always with him, sometimes it is tolerable sometimes not.

 

[Fool]

Hey friends. A lot of people here may have had experiences in which they were completely down and out and somehow managed to find their way back into life. Maybe they had help, and maybe they also found solutions which helped them. Lets hear about how it happened. What helped? What didn't? What changed?

everyone has had someone help them along the path. without the wisdom of those who have gone before, we'd all be trailblazers in chaos.

 

[Valjean]

I have been so far down as to consider suicide as the only exit. Friends pulled me back.

But thats not what i want to talk about. I have a relative with schizophrenia. He is a very clever guy but lets pressure of work get to him. 3 times now his illness has caused him to loose everything and twice he has pulled himself back to among top in his field. Unfortunately towards the end of last year the illness hit again*, within a month he had to give up his job, his apartment, his car and most of his furniture and possessions. For the last 2 months he has been living in a friends spare room with no money (this week he receives his first benefit payment). His recovery may take a few years but i have no doubt he will be up there with a fantastic job, a cool apartment and a decent car... They are his target whenever he is down.

Seems the key is set yourself a reachable target and hit it. As soon as you can.

* When i say hits again, the schizophrenia is always with him, sometimes it is tolerable sometimes not.

He's lucky he lives in a civilized country with a social safety net.

 

[Jumi]

What meditation was it?

Moving meditation. Sent some info in PM.

 

[Jumi]

Seems the key is set yourself a reachable target and hit it. As soon as you can.

Yes, that is indeed what one must do. Whether it's physical, mental or "economical" illness it's always appropriate to start forging ahead.

 

[Audie]

I distrust anyone who says they climbed up on their own out of being completely down and out. Fantasies aside, the reality is it almost always takes a support group to do that.

But if you yourself are in those circumstances, one of the main things you can do for yourself is to ruthlessly purge yourself of any and all feelings of self-pity. Those feelings are your enemy.

Self pity is one of the many faces of self indulgence.

Possibly Satan's favourite sin.

 

[Brickjectivity]

Self pity is one of the many faces of self indulgence.

Possibly Satan's favourite sin.

Its his 2nd favorite after inaction, but they are evil siblings.