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New name, previous self


Veteran Member
In the past two weeks, I embarked on an unexpected journey of self-discovery that led me to an intriguing crossroads in my personal development. I deviated from my usual path of constantly striving for self-improvement, and instead, I chose to put myself on cruise control, convinced that I had already done enough in regards to self-improvement. This decision had a moderate impact on my perspective towards world affairs, both for better and for worse. It served as a catalyst for a series of introspective realizations, ultimately culminating in the awareness that my journey of self-improvement is far from complete. I now found myself contemplating the notion of pressing the metaphorical "reset" button and returning to the mindset I had two weeks ago in terms of my overall thoughts and demeanor.

The decision to embark on this detour from my typical self-improvement journey was not one I took lightly. For a long time, I have been a fervent believer in the idea that personal growth is an ongoing process. I had pushed myself to strive for my greatest potential, constantly seeking ways to enhance my skills, broaden my horizons, and deepen my understanding of the world around me. This approach had become second nature, a fundamental aspect of my identity.

However, something within me began to shift, in the weeks leading up to this deviation. It was as though I had reached a point where I believed I had done enough, that I had achieved a level of self-improvement that warranted an ongoing break or shut-down from the constant drive to be better. This complacency manifested itself in subtle ways – a little less effort in daily tasks (in certain ways - a narrower focus), less pushing myself, and a growing indifference to the pressing issues of the world (for a time).

At first, this newfound sense of ease felt liberating. It was as though I had lifted a heavy burden from my shoulders, allowing me to unburden myself from the constant pursuit of perfection. World affairs, which had always been a source of concern for me, began to occupy less of my mental space. I was less anxious about the state of the world and the seemingly insurmountable challenges it faced. I even found myself enjoying simple pleasures I had long neglected, old hobbies.

However, as the days turned into weeks, I started to notice a subtle but unmistakable change within myself. It was a growing sense of unease, a nagging feeling that I was neglecting something vital. I realized that my decision to put myself on cruise control had inadvertently led me to become detached from the world around me. While this detachment brought a certain level of peace, it also made me feel disconnected and, at times, possibly even ignorant.

This revelation was a wake-up call. It made me understand that my journey of self-improvement was not a linear path with a clear destination but a continuous cycle of growth, introspection, and adaptation. It reminded me that the pursuit of greatness is not a one-time achievement but a lifelong commitment to becoming the best version of myself.

As I contemplated these thoughts, I couldn't help but think again about the concept of pressing the "reset" button and returning to the mindset I had two weeks ago. It was tempting, in a way, to revert to my old habits and patterns of self-improvement, to dive back into the relentless quest for personal growth. Yet, I knew that this decision too should not be taken lightly. It required a deeper understanding of what had led me to this detour in the first place and what lessons I could carry forward.

But, I've realized.... my work is far from done. It is beneficial for me to go back to that time, the time where I felt I was at my best so far. So I reach out and press that reset button. I'm going back to being a non-theist, back to being an Existentialist, back to having a Gravity Rush avatar (for now at least).