My Experience in a Temple

[Confucian Mormon Buddhist]

Bit of a random story, but it's something I don't think I've ever really talked to a Mormon about. Especially not in my ward.

As a former investigator, and currently an apostate/lapsed member, I only got to go to the temple once. I rushed through the classes quickly (knew the material already and had too much time on my hands) with the sister missionaries, got baptized, and then they were pushing me to do family research.

Now, I was keenly interested in doing baptisms for the dead, but for somewhat iffy reasons. I really liked the idea of the baptisms as a form of ancestor worship (the family focus of Mormonism being one of the main draws for me). I also really wanted to finish as many as possible as quickly as possible, in case something bad happened to me.*

The temple turned out to be a horrible disappointment, though. The YSA group I went with hadn't explained anything about the process, about request forums and the like, so I couldn't do the baptisms for my own family. All I had was a list I had made out by hand, but the temple workers refused it. This was a full day's trip, too, and with people I didn't like.

So, I was pretty distressed, but I comforted myself with the idea that at least I would get to do baptisms for strangers. When it came time to actually do the baptisms, though, after all the waiting and travelling, it was very disappointing. All the ritual was was the same words they said at mine, but with, like, twenty people per person, and the temple worker just rattled them off like an auctioneer. It didn't feel like a ritual in a holy temple, it felt like a procedure in a factory. Assembly line baptism.

It bothered me so much that it just outright killed my interest in the temple. Perhaps the others felt spiritual, had their minds in the right place, but when I went through I didn't have any of the spiritual feelings they talked about in church. It seemed like a whole lot of nothing, and I did want more from it. It would have meant a lot more to me if they'd, perhaps, talked a little bit about the people we baptized. We would have been there much longer, but then there'd have been some appreciation for the significance of the act. As was, though, I was just one nobody being used as a prop to save a bunch of other nobody's souls.

In hindsight, there are things I could have done better. I was probably too focused on how I wanted to "use" the temple that I missed the point that the temple is a place of meditation. I also wasn't mature enough to really deserve to be there. At the time, I was arrogantly trying to justify my sin** (breaking the Law of Chastity), and hadn't even really been in the Church long. I don't think I'd even given a testimony yet.

But yeah, I'd give the temple a 4/10.


*I vaguely recall being so eager to do the baptisms because I wanted to die, and I couldn't die before taking care of as many of my family as possible. I can't imagine why I would have felt that way, though, as I was generally rather satisfied with my life around that time. I just bring it up, though, to give kind of a sense of how important doing the baptisms was to me at the moment.

**One thing that lead to me getting interested in Mormonism was my revelation that pretty much everything is a sin because it's harmful to you (as opposed to the atheist's notion that what is a sin is arbitrary). I missed the importance of following God's commandments, though.

When I got my first girlfriend (a girl from church who had converted about a year before I came along), I was convinced I needed to sleep with her. I thought it would be a sort of panacea, that it'd make me confident around women and that she'd fall in love with me and wouldn't leave me. I also thought it'd be okay because she wasn't a virgin anyways, and I intended to keep her. It wasn't until later that I realized that my justifications were garbage and I gained a better understanding of the Law.

I imagine that this kind of immaturity was one thing that I should have gotten past before going to the temple.

 

[Jane.Doe]

Now, I was keenly interested in doing baptisms for the dead, but for somewhat iffy reasons. I really liked the idea of the baptisms as a form of ancestor worship (the family focus of Mormonism being one of the main draws for me).

The word "worship" makes me very uncomfortable here- we only worship God, not family members. If you mean something more akin to "honor" (which is my understanding of the Asian tradition), I'm totally on board with that.

The YSA group I went with hadn't explained anything about the process, about request forums and the like, so I couldn't do the baptisms for my own family. All I had was a list I had made out by hand, but the temple workers refused it. This was a full day's trip, too, and with people I didn't like.

That's a MEGA ball drop on their part. SO man people should have communicated that to you- the missionaries, family history consultant, YSA group leader, bishop, temple workers, HT's, etc. Even when you were there in person, they could have referred you to the local Family History Center to get the paperwork printed off- it's super fast, and there's always a Family History Center close the the temple (like recently the literally share the same parking lot).

As to the why behind paperwork: back in the 1800's, the system was set up that people did just bring random names and birthdates to the temple. But it was random, chaotic, and often times a person would be redundantly baptized a dozen times as the right-and-left-hand failed to communicate. So nowadays there is a centralized computer system to keep track of things across a worldwide church. That way, we're not wasting effort redundantly baptizing people. The "paperwork" isn't really filling out a sheet of paper, but rather a computer printout which links to this centralized database. It takes like 30 seconds to do.

All the ritual was was the same words they said at mine

Well did you expect it to be different ? A baptism is a baptism.

the temple worker just rattled them off like an auctioneer. It didn't feel like a ritual in a holy temple, it felt like a procedure in a factory. Assembly line baptism.

Yeah, I have a MAJOR soapbox about how people shouldn't rush through temple work (as you are describing they did), and how these are PEOPLE not random names/dates. If you want to hear it, I'll *gladly* go off on my spiel.

Perhaps the others felt spiritual, had their minds in the right place, but when I went through I didn't have any of the spiritual feelings they talked about in church. It seemed like a whole lot of nothing, and I did want more from it.

Mindset/receptiveness to the Spirit makes a huge difference.

It would have meant a lot more to me if they'd, perhaps, talked a little bit about the people we baptized. We would have been there much longer, but then there'd have been some appreciation for the significance of the act. As was, though, I was just one nobody being used as a prop to save a bunch of other nobody's souls.

Ok, I officially need to type up my spiel about how these are people (as you are pointing out), not random names. I will try to do so after work today.

In hindsight, there are things I could have done better. I was probably too focused on how I wanted to "use" the temple that I missed the point that the temple is a place of meditation. I also wasn't mature enough to really deserve to be there. At the time, I was arrogantly trying to justify my sin** (breaking the Law of Chastity), and hadn't even really been in the Church long. I don't think I'd even given a testimony yet.

It is very mature and honest of you to acknowledge these things, and you are spot on about them.

**One thing that lead to me getting interested in Mormonism was my revelation that pretty much everything is a sin because it's harmful to you (as opposed to the atheist's notion that what is a sin is arbitrary).

That is part of my personal draw to the LDS faith too. God's not some random dictator to tell you dont do random things just to be dictator-y, but a loving Father who urges us not to do things which are harmful to us.

When I got my first girlfriend (a girl from church who had converted about a year before I came along), I was convinced I needed to sleep with her. I thought it would be a sort of panacea, that it'd make me confident around women and that she'd fall in love with me and wouldn't leave me. I also thought it'd be okay because she wasn't a virgin anyways, and I intended to keep her. It wasn't until later that I realized that my justifications were garbage and I gained a better understanding of the Law.

I imagine that this kind of immaturity was one thing that I should have gotten past before going to the temple.

Um, yeah. You said it right here.

 

[Confucian Mormon Buddhist]

I understand "ancestor worship," as a single phrase, to not mean worship in the same sense as a worship service. More like ritualized honoring, as you noted. For that matter, though, you could argue that religious worship is also ritualized honoring, in which case our sense of worship may be a bit too narrow.

It was a ball drop that's a bit characteristic for that ward, I'm afraid. The YSA kind of sucked at organizing things and getting information out. I also don't know if I was ever assigned or supposed to be assigned a home teacher. In general, the missionaries did their job well, but the rest of the ward was kind of half-assed.

As it happens, a lot of my relatives may have already been done. I don't even know. I do know that huge sections of the genealogy were already finished... but huge sections were clearly false, too (parents born after their children).

I didn't expect the baptism itself to be different, but I thought that maybe there'd be a bit more ritual involved, introducing the person or something. For example, I believe we sang a hymn of my choice at my baptism? Of course such things are neither needed nor thy point of the ritual, but I believe that the "presentation" is important too when it comes to worship and other holy activity.

You can go on your spiel, I probably agree with it already.

With sins being harmful, I first really made the connection when I got into the Alt-Right (yuck) and learned the downsides of things like homosexuality, fornication, and miscegenation. Stuff nobody else even talks about, like how homosexuality leads to the spread of dreadful diseases, fornication corrupts women's character, and miscegenation produces unhappy, isolated children. Even stuff that seemed pointless and arbitrary like the whole eating shellfish thing makes sense within context.