Is this protecting children or just silliness!

[Terrywoodenpic]

Another thing I think is wrong is for the teacher to pick two team captains for a team sport and have them alternate picking the members of their teams. The last two kids standing are just humilitated and it's always the same two.

A better way is to get them to stand in hight.birthday or alphabetical order.
Then get every other one to put their hand up and they are one team.

The birthday and a to z way is more random but the height way is better when the games need to be more physically equal.

But it is not either - or, you can switch it around day to day.

 

[Ðanisty]

But see, I was never your typical child, I guess. I specifically tried to be friends with those that the other kids ostricized because I always thought it disgusting that kids could treat one another in that way. I invited everyone because I wanted everyone there. I wanted everyone there because I thought it unfair that some kids would get left out. I felt everyone should always feel included, because we were, afterall, just kids and didn't need to treat one another in such a horrid way.

But that's just it...it was what you wanted to do. I, for example, wouldn't have wanted to invite the popular people to my party (which wouldn't have made a huge difference...they wouldn't have shown up anyway) because I didn't like them. Why would I want people I don't like at my party? Why would I want to go to a party for someone who didn't like me?

Perhaps I can be swayed to understand your argument for the birthday party. I won't change my opinion of it, but I do see where you are coming from. However, I am steadfast, at least, in my opinion of the holiday cards. If you're going to give one to one kid, each kid should receive one. Such a happy occasion should not be made depressive for a young child. No matter what the reason.

I've never seen any elementary school circumstances where kids weren't required to give valentine's cards to everyone. I think that's pretty standard.

See, I was a bit more hard to define when I was in school. I didn't fit into a clique. I guess I just had a "me" clique. I was friends with who I wanted and could never care less what anyone thought. This made the "it" kids want to be friends with me, mainly, because they couldn't be. I refused to be friends with anyone who treated anyone else poorly. So basically because, instead of vying for their attention, I was turning myself and those who followed me, against the "it" kids of my school, and this made them want me in their clique even more.

See, even you didn't want everyone in your group of friends.

School, especially elementary (meaning, it's a start of a new phase in life, making new friends, etc), is a hard time for kids in life and I always thought the process of making it more horrid and more hard for some kids, by others, quite despicable. Which is why I believe in the things previously mentioned in the OP.

Honestly, elementary school wasn't that hard for me. It was middle school that was aweful.

 

[egroen]

Kids even find a way to exclude others when it comes to the valentine's day card thing... everyone gets a valentine card, but those you really like get an extra, special one. LOL -- Amazingly, swarthy old me would get 20 cards from my twenty classmates while cute little Susie would get about 50 :beach:

I do like that if children are bringing treats to school on their birthday that it has to be for everyone in the class but demanding they can not be discriminating in their invitations to a birthday party while at school is just asinine.

And yes, middle school is WAY worse than elementary. I am a fellow pickee

-Erin

 

[sparc872]

I was one of those kids too. I am against this because I do feel it is bad for the childs self-esteem. The only reason I am as outgoing as I am now is because I was picked on in elementary school and middle school. I never had too many friends in high school, but I did have a dad who always supported me. He never stopped encouraging me in things I did and he was gentle-hard on me for not trying my best. Forcing everyone to have fake relationships is a terrible idea. If someone doesn't like something about you, get over it or change. We can't all be friends with everybody. I have discovered plenty of things about myself that might put others off and have worked to change that. I have also discovered how cruel at heart some people might be and I work to avoid them. I wouldn't want to be friends with some of these people.

A parent should be the one there to guide their children, not the school.

 

[Tigress]

Gone are the days when a kindergartner dropped a handful of party invites in the classroom cubbyholes of their closest buddies. Today, if anyone is excluded the invitations can't be handed out at school.

Take Valentine's Day: At some schools, a second-grader can't offer paper valentines or heart-shaped candies to a short list of pals and secret crushes anymore. They give cards to everyone or no one at all.

In the middle on this issue; I think party invites, holiday cards, candies, presents, etc., should be allowed to be given out at school, but discreetly, and on the students' own time, such as lunch break or recess. Anything distributed during class time should thus be to everyone.

Or sports: In many towns, scorekeeping no longer happens at soccer or softball games played by kids under 8 or 9. Win or lose, every player in the league gets a trophy at the season's end.

This may be an effective tool in early elementary school, and I can certainly see why some would want to implement it, however, children also need to learn proper coping skills in order to effectively survive adult life, which means teaching them that 'you can't always get what you want,' sometimes you stumble, and fall flat on your face, or [SIZE=-1]behind[/SIZE]. It's the job of both parents and teachers to teach them a) that it's okay and b) how to get back up and continue to persevere.

The idea that protecting kids from rejection is crucial to safeguarding their self-esteem has gained momentum in recent years.

Temperance is the key.

 

[Purple Thyme]

Social skills are (imo) one of the greatest lessons learned in public school. I was picked on in school too. It taught me how to treat others in that I became very compassionate for other children. It taught me I didn't excel in sports but acedemic wise I did. It taught me that its Ok not to be the best at everything. It also taught me that no matter what you do some people are just not gonna like you so live with it. It also taught me to accept others for who they are and not who they hang out with. By high school I was very popular because I had friends in all circles and didn't hang out with one click. I try everyday to to teach my kids to be open minded to all kids and never go with the flow. My daughter at age 8 stood up to the class bully when she was picking on this really shy boy. The entire class ended up standing up to this girl that day and from that day forwarded she didn't have the same power over the kids anymore. I was so proud of my daughter. The year before my daughter had come home crying because of this girl several times. I almost interfered but decided to let her try to handle it. Yes social skills are a great lesson learned and sometimes as parents we need to give them building blocks and then let them learn some lessons on their own.