Is the institution of marriage dying? If so, why?

[Vinayaka]

When I was a kid, marriage was a deal. A wedding was a deal, and anyone 'living in sin' was sort of frowned upon by some. Now it's 'meh, big deal'.

I see good and bad. I'm happy that laws have changed enough for victims of abuse to get out of marriage, if it hits nasty rough spots. There are places to turn to, divorcees aren't considered lowly, etc. There's more tolerance all around to the failed marriages.

On the down side, being a traditionalist, I like it. I think it provides a stable place for up and coming citizens to bloom, and still has a place in society. Not marriage itself, but long term stable relationships.

Ideas, thoughts? What's the future of this 'cherished' religious institution?

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

I support the idea of stable long term relationships, but only to those who want things that way rather than short-term monogamous or polyamourous dating, and I'm afraid I do support taking marriage a bit less seriously, even now - however, without trying to disrespect what marriage is and brush it under the table.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

I believe 2 years may not always be enough time to know someone before getting married, for example. More like 4-5+.

 

[Secret Chief]

When I was a kid, marriage was a deal. A wedding was a deal, and anyone 'living in sin' was sort of frowned upon by some. Now it's 'meh, big deal'.

I see good and bad. I'm happy that laws have changed enough for victims of abuse to get out of marriage, if it hits nasty rough spots. There are places to turn to, divorcees aren't considered lowly, etc. There's more tolerance all around to the failed marriages.

On the down side, being a traditionalist, I like it. I think it provides a stable place for up and coming citizens to bloom, and still has a place in society. Not marriage itself, but long term stable relationships.

Ideas, thoughts? What's the future of this 'cherished' religious institution?

There's another option around these parts : a civil partnership*. Our ceremony was of our own making and afterwards we all had tea and cake. What's not to like?
*It is the legally required "part" of a marriage.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

Now I can think of a reason not to wait too long to get married, as well. One specific example is a woman saving herself for marriage for religious reasons, who is older, but wants to have kids while her body is still healthy for it.

 

[JustGeorge]

I don't have any firm opinion on it; after all, its regarding other people and I strongly believe what other people do is none of my business.

I am really glad I never married my first son's father. We talked about it, but it boiled down to me refusing to get married in a church(I wasn't Christian, nor was he, other than culturally) and me refusing to wear a white dress. I'm so glad I was stubborn. It saved me the headache and expense of a divorce. He totally would have drawn it out, too.

My husband and I kind of did what @Secret Chief mentions. There was a signing of papers and a private 'ceremony'. After, there was a reception, but it was a potluck instead of tea and cake.

Marriage can bring legal benefits, which are nothing to be scoffed at(though I learned the hard way they cut your food stamp benefits in half when you marry, even if your income does not change). Ultimately, its a choice between individuals and they should do what they feel comfortable with. If they want the ceremony, go for it. If not, that's fine, too.

 

[Secret Chief]

The figures speak for themselves think...

"Marriage rates for opposite-sex couples are now at the lowest level on record. This continues a gradual long-term decline seen since the early 1970s, with numbers falling by a third over the past 40 years.

The popularity of religious ceremonies also fell to historic lows for the second year running, with fewer than one in four couples choosing to get married through a religious ceremony.

• Marriage rates for opposite-sex couples in 2017 were the lowest on record, with 21.2 marriages per 1,000 unmarried men and 19.5 marriages per 1,000 unmarried women.
  
  
• Less than a quarter (22%) of all marriages in 2017 were religious ceremonies, the lowest percentage on record."
  
  - Marriages in England and Wales - Office for National Statistics

 

[Meow Mix]

Millennials are behind in almost everything: getting married, having a home, completing education (whoops I’m 3 for 3 so far), and having children (which I don’t plan on).

 

[Nakosis]

When I was a kid, marriage was a deal. A wedding was a deal, and anyone 'living in sin' was sort of frowned upon by some. Now it's 'meh, big deal'.

I see good and bad. I'm happy that laws have changed enough for victims of abuse to get out of marriage, if it hits nasty rough spots. There are places to turn to, divorcees aren't considered lowly, etc. There's more tolerance all around to the failed marriages.

On the down side, being a traditionalist, I like it. I think it provides a stable place for up and coming citizens to bloom, and still has a place in society. Not marriage itself, but long term stable relationships.

Ideas, thoughts? What's the future of this 'cherished' religious institution?

Marriage is very integrated with our legal system. Sans religion I think we'd at least need a secular version of it to exist.

 

[Brickjectivity]

When I was a kid, marriage was a deal. A wedding was a deal, and anyone 'living in sin' was sort of frowned upon by some. Now it's 'meh, big deal'.

I see good and bad. I'm happy that laws have changed enough for victims of abuse to get out of marriage, if it hits nasty rough spots. There are places to turn to, divorcees aren't considered lowly, etc. There's more tolerance all around to the failed marriages.

On the down side, being a traditionalist, I like it. I think it provides a stable place for up and coming citizens to bloom, and still has a place in society. Not marriage itself, but long term stable relationships.

Ideas, thoughts? What's the future of this 'cherished' religious institution?

It has come into temporary ill repute for the reasons you have stated and for some other reasons, but its here to stay.

I think families have changed in size and in terms of who may marry whom. There is change all the time. The kind of marriages we have today are actually an upgrade from the way they were done in the past, but that upgrade is also change. Marriages are no longer arranged. Families are smaller, and that means its harder for parents to find help. Society is scarier. People have trouble trusting, because we can see the evils. Some of the divorce we are seeing reveals the problems that people have had which were not well understood when divorce was a legal grey area. There is greater understanding, now. Luciano Floridi points out that people no longer have to be the only ones who understand what they are going through. The moment someone has a problem they can find 100 other people on the internet with the same problem. Its not the same world.

Also, marriage counseling and psychological counseling have come a long way. A lot has been learned over the last eighty years which is starting to benefit marriages.

 

[sun rise]

Beyond the legal niceties and the religious doctrine that can be involved, "marriage" to me is the decision to connect emotionally over an extended period on multiple different personality aspects. It's a chance to explore, long term, the challenges of trying to love one another deeply beyond infatuation and in spite of all those infuriating quirks the other person has.

The religious aspect is less now. "Domestic partnerships" have take up part of the legal aspect of marriage. But the urge to get together long term is to me still alive in spite of the current level of cynicism.

 

[lewisnotmiller]

I believe 2 years may not always be enough time to know someone before getting married, for example. More like 4-5+.

I did 10...lol

 

[lewisnotmiller]

We were married by a civil celebrant in the grounds of a winery.
Readings were from Shakespeare (amongst others) rather than the Bible, and we had a cartoonist circling around creating keepsakes for the guests.

It was fun, but we'd been together a long time before the wedding (10 years).

To me, it was important. It was a decision that...short of something drastic...I wasn't leaving no matter what.
Practically I was pretty much already there, but vows are important to me, whatever the topic.

 

[Vinayaka]

Marriage is very integrated with our legal system. Sans religion I think we'd at least need a secular version of it to exist.

I concur, and they often exist simultaneously.

 

[stvdv]

Ideas, thoughts? What's the future of this 'cherished' religious institution?

Is the institution of marriage dying? If so, why?

It already started in 1964, or to be more precise 1974, when I was 10 years old I declared "I will never marry and have no kids"

 

[Bethel]

The figures speak for themselves think...

"Marriage rates for opposite-sex couples are now at the lowest level on record.

There are 3 general reasons that marriages fail.

1. Sometimes you discover that the person you married is a horrible human being, who will never change, and they fooled you.

2. When the couple promise "till death do us part", "for better or for worse", "in sickness and in health"...they dont mean it, and really never thought about this Vow before they said...."I do".

3. The typical Divorce proceeding, is very easy to complete, so, when you make divorce easy, you are guaranteeing a lot more of them, as its now quite a convenience to get a divorce.

 

[JustGeorge]

I did 10...lol

I did 2 months...

 

[Kenny]

When I was a kid, marriage was a deal. A wedding was a deal, and anyone 'living in sin' was sort of frowned upon by some. Now it's 'meh, big deal'.

I see good and bad. I'm happy that laws have changed enough for victims of abuse to get out of marriage, if it hits nasty rough spots. There are places to turn to, divorcees aren't considered lowly, etc. There's more tolerance all around to the failed marriages.

On the down side, being a traditionalist, I like it. I think it provides a stable place for up and coming citizens to bloom, and still has a place in society. Not marriage itself, but long term stable relationships.

Ideas, thoughts? What's the future of this 'cherished' religious institution?

Great thoughts and great points.

Marriage is what you make of it... I suppose.

I have become a traditionalist. Perhaps it is the spiritual significance that we have that makes it different. It will always be a cherished institution if God is the center of it. Today, however, God is less and less part of the picture and, in my view, one of the key reasons why it is falling apart.

My position is simply there is a difference between a stable relationship and a marriage. Then again, there are marriages that are not marriages. But children do grow better with a stable biological mother and father in it.

On the flip side, Everybody can live their lives however they want.

 

[PoetPhilosopher]

My position is simply there is a difference between a stable relationship and a marriage. Then again, there are marriages that are not marriages. But children do grow better with a stable biological mother and father in it.

On the flip side, Everybody can live their lives however they want.

I know I've rethought/reshaped some of my own views on the subject, ever since I realized I (likely) can't have kids.

 

[Vinayaka]

1. Sometimes you discover that the person you married is a horrible human being, who will never change, and they fooled you.

Or they discover that you're a horrible human being who will never change, and you fooled them.