Pah
Uber all member
>* TO GOD FROM THE DOG
>
>Dear God, Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one
>another?
>
>Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still
>the same old story?
>
>Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
>mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a
>dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride!
>Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?
>
>Dear God" If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him,
>is he still a bad dog?
>
>Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
>whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy
>fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
>
>Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
>
>Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to
>apologize?
>
>Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
>remember - to be a good dog.
>
>1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it
>up.
>
>2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like
>the way they smell.
>
>3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they
>are tasty, they are not food.
>
>4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
>
>5. The sofa is not a face towel' neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
>
>6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
>
>7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
>
>8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's
>license and registration.
>
>9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
>
>10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying
>"hello".
>
>11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee
>table.
>
>12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not
>after.
>
>13. I will not throw up in the car.
>
>14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
>
>15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when
>we have company.
>
>16. The cat is not a squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that
>noise, it's usually not a good thing.
>
>And, finally, My last question . . .
>
>Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?
>
>Dear God, Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one
>another?
>
>Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still
>the same old story?
>
>Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cougar, the
>mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a
>dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride!
>Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle" the " Chrysler Beagle"?
>
>Dear God" If a dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him,
>is he still a bad dog?
>
>Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals,
>whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy
>fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?
>
>Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.
>
>Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are, will I have to
>apologize?
>
>Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must
>remember - to be a good dog.
>
>1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it
>up.
>
>2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like
>the way they smell.
>
>3 I will not munch on "leftovers" in the kitty litter box, although they
>are tasty, they are not food.
>
>4. The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
>
>5. The sofa is not a face towel' neither are Mom and Dad's laps.
>
>6. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.
>
>7. My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
>
>8. I will not bite the officer's hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's
>license and registration.
>
>9. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
>
>10. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying
>"hello".
>
>11. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee
>table.
>
>12. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not
>after.
>
>13. I will not throw up in the car.
>
>14. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
>
>15. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch when
>we have company.
>
>16. The cat is not a squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that
>noise, it's usually not a good thing.
>
>And, finally, My last question . . .
>
>Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?