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How to include men across cultures?

Discussion in 'Feminist Only' started by SomeRandom, Jun 16, 2019.

  1. SomeRandom

    SomeRandom Still learning to be wise

    Apr 20, 2014
    I know, I know. This sounds like a clickbait title.
    But, there was a minor scandal among the "booktube" community recently. Stripped Cover Lit, who I heard of but never really watched, allegedly made some very sexist comments and displayed unacceptable behavior. Booktube is one of the more "woke" corners of the youtubes, even still I was pleasantly surprised by the amount of men who stepped up and not only pitched support, but asked how they could help the cause.

    So I want to know, in your own words. What tactics do you think help erode toxic masculinity and how men can help the cause of modern day feminism?
    We do not want to alienate men. It seems easy to do. But I think, with men becoming more aware of unacceptable behavior, they end up looking awkward, waiting for instructions from feminists.

    That said. There is something to be said about traversing two entirely different cultures.
    I remember staying with my nephew (according to the Indian family structure) and being rather taken aback by the seemingly backwards way he expected me to act. Now he never really confronted me, because he was afraid of offending his "aunty." (Ironically he's like 5 years older than me. Just............go with it.)
    But I remember him staying with my parents when I was still a drunken teen living with them. I casually went out to mate's BBQ and returned the next day, like normal. Still hungover, but I was still willing to drive everyone to the shops. Nephew decided it was a great time to admonish me for being a "gora" (derogatory time for whitey.) If I wasn't so hungover I would have stabbed him with a fork. Love the guy, but his views are way too outdated for my Western raised self. I've lived with him and his family for a few days, very nice people, but I always end up running to my more Westernised uncle who lives a couple of suburbs away instead. Because I can deal with the Indian constraints up to a certain point. The constant stress to get As, the constant pressuring to be married etc. I can laugh it all off, really. But I end up fleeing from the type of conservatism present in that particular family dynamic. (Though I stress again, they're very nice humble people.)

    So really how do you counteract this kind of misogyny?

    And what are some positive ways to include men in modern day feminism?

    (Yes, this is in a series of me trying desperately to make amends for my past failures. But I do think it's important that we be clear to our allies and explore good quality techniques to help everyone become better people.)
    #1 SomeRandom, Jun 16, 2019
    Last edited: Jun 16, 2019
  2. Erebus

    Erebus Well-Known Member

    Jun 16, 2009
    Personally, I would say a good starting point is to make it clear that feminism benefits rather than diminishes men. The ideal of what masculinity entails is one such example as the belief that women are the weaker sex goes hand in hand with the belief that men should therefore be strong. That strength is often portrayed as a refusal to seek help or affection and to keep emotions bottled up. This then contributes towards the tendency for men not to seek medical advice and to be at a greater risk of suicide.

    Feminism is often perceived as being against men and it really shouldn't be. What helps women very often helps men in turn and that should be emphasised.
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  3. shunyadragon

    shunyadragon shunyadragon
    Premium Member

    Mar 23, 2017
    Baha'i Faith
    I believe humanity is undergoing a spiritual evolution of new roles for men and women in society. At present most are living under old rules. Ancient religions and their scriptures reflect the older rules of relationships. The world is changing and most cling to the past.