How Important Is Kindness?

[Fluffy]

I feel that kindness is a direct result of the most important quality in someone and that being selflessness so I would rate it as extremely important.

 

[Valjean]

For me, unkindness is an automatic rule-out. No sense even considering other qualities if kindness is not a prominent one.

I think appearance is overrated. Not only is it not a factor in the overall quality of a person, but it wears-off quickly.
Physical attractiveness seems to be a very strong factor in the initial choice of friends/mates, but after a few weeks or months ceases to be much of a factor in maintaining a relationship.

There are a lot of very attractive divorce/es out there.

 

[Beck63Don]

Kindness is very important to me. If someone isn't kind, I won't have anything to do with him. Cruel people will stab you in the back just when you need them most. I don't want that. So, yes, kindness is extremely important.

 

[Flappycat]

That's funny, Seyorni, I've always felt you could tell a lot about a fellow by how he performs in bed. In all seriousness, for me, it goes in pretty much this order:

Kindness-Intelligence (tie)
Responsiblity
Honesty
Affection-Playfulness (tie)
Culinary skill
Energy in bed
Distinctive personality
Sisu (look it up)
Courage
Humility
Sense of adventure
Income (Not that I'm a material guy...honest!)
A few other important things
And, way down there at the bottom of the list I check over to see if I've found the absolute Mr. Right, including making sure his first name isn't Always, yes, I'm carnal enough that I'm fine and dandy for him to be a peach to look at as well. Mine is, by his own admission, only a touch above medium in intelligence, but he more than makes up for it in its counterpart, so it's all good. I'm luckier than anyone here, and I dare anyone to challenge that.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

How important to you is it for your partner, spouse, or significant other to be kind?

The kindness of my spouse is essential because she is the embodied representative of everything that I have espoused.

 

[Darkdale]

How important to you is it for your partner, spouse, or significant other to be kind?

I don't care as much about kindness and sensitivity as I do respectfulness. I also don't mind if someone is randomly grumpy or mean to me. People have their ups and downs and sometimes they don't treat each other as well as they should. I don't know, I don't think it is all that important. That is to say, I never catch myself thinking about whether or not my girlfriend is kind.

 

[Terrywoodenpic]

I find the important Traits to be...

Kindness
Honesty
Reliability (doing what you say you will do)
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A long way down the list is Respect ( you only get that if you have the higher qualities in the list yourself)

Terry________________________
Blessed are the gentle, they shall inherit the land

 

[angellous_evangellous]

I don't care as much about kindness and sensitivity as I do respectfulness. I also don't mind if someone is randomly grumpy or mean to me. People have their ups and downs and sometimes they don't treat each other as well as they should. I don't know, I don't think it is all that important. That is to say, I never catch myself thinking about whether or not my girlfriend is kind.

Yeah, but at the same time people will understand that she is the kind of person that you are attracted to. You approve of her worldview.

For example, if she is constantly being a billigerant bigot and saying hateful things about black people and homosexuals, we can assume that she acts the same way around you and you enjoy and approve of that kind of thing.

I don't want my friends coming up to me and saying, "Gosh, how do you live with that *****?"

 

[Darkdale]

Yeah, but at the same time people will understand that she is the kind of person that you are attracted to. You approve of her worldview.

For example, if she is constantly being a billigerant bigot and saying hateful things about black people and homosexuals, we can assume that she acts the same way around you and you enjoy and approve of that kind of thing.

I don't want my friends coming up to me and saying, "Gosh, how do you live with that *****?"

Yeah, I'd say worldview is extremely important. We have very different religious beliefs, but as a pagan she shares a similar worldview. We both see reality the same way and we rarely ever argue over anything. I think the most important thing in our relationship, the strongest part, is our being supportive of each other. Whatever she decides she wants to do, I'm there for her, supporting her, encouraging her and trying to help. She tries her best to do the same. It makes for secure and satisfying relationship. I don't know if we are always "kind" to each other, it's such a vague word, but we are always supportive and always looking to see other thrive.

 

[YmirGF]

Kindess to me is VERY important. I actually hovered over extremely for a bit before going with just Very. The reason I did was because although this is a very important aspect of a relationship, kindness can be taken too far. (Like, I don't want to be married to a saint, hehe.) I prefer life to be a bit mucky, so that I have to get my hands dirty from time to time. Sort of keeps one connected to the earth.

All things in moderation, is the golden rule.

 

[angellous_evangellous]

Yeah, I'd say worldview is extremely important. We have very different religious beliefs, but as a pagan she shares a similar worldview. We both see reality the same way and we rarely ever argue over anything. I think the most important thing in our relationship, the strongest part, is our being supportive of each other. Whatever she decides she wants to do, I'm there for her, supporting her, encouraging her and trying to help. She tries her best to do the same. It makes for secure and satisfying relationship. I don't know if we are always "kind" to each other, it's such a vague word, but we are always supportive and always looking to see other thrive.

Kindness can't hurt the health of a relationship, unless of course the "kindness" is not genuine.

I was defining kindness as simply treating other people as one would want to be treated. In other words, not being a self-centered beligerant bigot jerkoff. :149:

 

[Think Bright]

I think appearance is overrated.

You must have warts on ya nose Ya ain't getting ahead without looking good and you'd know that if your brain wasn't in the biggest wart.

 

[Yerda]

It's important to me. I find it a very attractive attribute.

 

[Feathers in Hair]

I think I could love anyone that was kind to others and themselves. (The latter is important, too!) I can't say the same about anyone that was rich, attractive, or powerful, but I could say it about that.

 

[Sunstone]

I think I could love anyone that was kind to others and themselves. (The latter is important, too!) I can't say the same about anyone that was rich, attractive, or powerful, but I could say it about that.

Frubals to you! That's an interesting way of looking at it. I agree that I would love anyone who was kind, such is the value of kindness to me.

EDIT: I take back everything I've ever said about you being a cruel, heartless woman, Feathers. Especially that bit about you doing happy dances on tax day every year. I can see now that you have great respect for kindness.

 

[Flappycat]

You must have warts on ya nose Ya ain't getting ahead without looking good and you'd know that if your brain wasn't in the biggest wart.

I disagree with you, and I unblushingly say that I'm an adonis. Though well-intentioned, fairly intelligent, and well-spoken when I try, I can be a horrible boor and, when slighted, can forget to show consideration for others. Because of my lesser qualities, I drove off two people whom I was beginning to fall deeply in love with in my lifetime. What's kept me attatched to my current mate is this: he is the kindest, most gentle, most forgiving, and most considerate person I've ever known, and every day that I know him, I, at least I hope, grow to be more like him, a fact that has brought me closer to my friends and helped me to make reconciliations with people I've had difficulty getting along with in the past. Good looks are good for getting people's attention and making a good first impression, but, after that, you're on your own. Just looking cute, by itself, has lasted me a month with people at maximum because, by that time, people have memorized every tiny flaw on your face and won't be able to see anything else if they don't like what's underneath.

 

[Flappycat]

Just to impress upon you how little good looks can mean in the long term, here's a rather interesting example. One fellow in my neighborhood who had strong racial prejudices, though he was all talk, had been friends with a black man for a long time. The man dressed well, behaved amiably, and was very well-spoken, and he politely refrained from reacting to the fellow's comments. One day, I commented to the fellow that one of his friends happened to be black, and he looked at me dumbly for a moment before muttering something in the nature of "Well, he acts white, so it's different." True story. Recall, I live in a rural part of North Carolina and encounter this sort of thing on occassion. Faults and flaws in your physical appearance can become marks of character, over time, if you infuse them with enough good character.