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help please what shall i do

U

urwithmeoragainstme

New Member
im new and i wanna ask wat shall i do when i like this girl but i am not allowed to ask her out or even speak to me because of my religion, the other thing is shes gonna leave this country soon but i wanna ask her out before that. wat shall i do help please.shall i ask her out or forget about her because of my religion
 
EnhancedSpirit

EnhancedSpirit

High Priestess
urwithmeoragainstme said:
im new and i wanna ask wat shall i do when i like this girl but i am not allowed to ask her out or even speak to me because of my religion, the other thing is shes gonna leave this country soon but i wanna ask her out before that. wat shall i do help please.shall i ask her out or forget about her because of my religion
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First of all, welcome to the forums. Ok, now that we have that out of the way.

What do you mean by 'because of your religion?' Do you mean that your religion forbids you to be in touch with this girl, or her parents don't want you to contact her because of your religion?
 
michel

michel

Administrator Emeritus
Staff member
urwithmeoragainstme said:
im new and i wanna ask wat shall i do when i like this girl but i am not allowed to ask her out or even speak to me because of my religion, the other thing is shes gonna leave this country soon but i wanna ask her out before that. wat shall i do help please.shall i ask her out or forget about her because of my religion
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I don't think there's much that I can give you as advice that hasn't already been given to you;

Anyhow, since I notice this is your first time here, I wanted to take the opportunity to Welcome you to Religious forums

I suggest that you look at our article for new members (from which there is a link to the Forum rules with which you ought to acquaint yourself)

I hope you enjoy your time with us, and look forward to reading your posts.
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I do hope that things work out for you.

 
A

Ab'dal Hameed

Member
Hello,urwithme.

You must be very young by the way you describe your feelings.I m not sure I understand the "because of my religion" aspect. Allah has placed mutual feelings of love + respect in man and woman. Surah Rum Ayah 21. That Surah was help ful to me when I was going through something similar to what you describe.

Now you must share these feelings with some one you trust preferably older but there are many wise young ones as well!

And" leaving this country" is not leaving the world-have faith and ask Allah, He will never fail you.

May Allah guide you.
 
TashaN

TashaN

Veteran Member
Premium Member
Actually, i don't know why she can't talk to you because of your religion. You mean if she knew that you are a muslim for example?

Anyway, i guess marriage is somthing which God guide us to it so even though you worked so hard for it you won't get it if God didn't want you to do so (for your own good) and if Allah wants you to have her so wherever she go in this world you will be with her if God said so.

You can't face this thing alone but try to get help from a friend you trust who might be wise or your father for instance if you really want to marry her.

I hope that God will help you to get the one you love. :)
 
U

urwithmeoragainstme

New Member
EnhancedSpirit said:
First of all, welcome to the forums. Ok, now that we have that out of the way.

What do you mean by 'because of your religion?' Do you mean that your religion forbids you to be in touch with this girl, or her parents don't want you to contact her because of your religion?
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my religon forbids me to be in touch with this girl
 
U

urwithmeoragainstme

New Member
YmirGF said:
I would suggest that either yourself or perhaps your father, on you behalf, approach the father or head of the household of her family to arrange a possible meeting. Given your circumstances, you should NOT attempt a direct contact, as that may have unfortunate results. If you are unable to do so, then I would suggest you hold her memory fondly in your heart until Allah provides you with a suitable mate.

If you really mean what is in your heart, then talk to your father or uncle or whatever. He should be able to guide you through any potential social mindfields. It might be helpful is Muslims could put in a kind word or three.
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i dont think telling my father that i like a non muslim girl would help
 
U

urwithmeoragainstme

New Member
i read some of it. i know lots of muslims who talk to girls when they are not suppose to and date them and everythin. shall i be one of them? but i dont really want to forbid my religion
 
A

angellous_evangellous

Guest
urwithmeoragainstme said:
i read some of it. i know lots of muslims who talk to girls when they are not suppose to and date them and everythin. shall i be one of them? but i dont really want to forbid my religion
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You're going to have to make up your own mind. There are plenty of girls available I'm sure that will gladly meet all of the requirements of your religion and your family.

But sometimes we meet a person and no one else will do.

It's simply up to you.
 
Elvendon

Elvendon

Mystical Tea Dispenser
Hello urwithme

I do not presume to know more about Islam than any others here, but I thought Muslim men could marry non-Muslim women? Or is she not one of the children of the book? (i.e. she is not a Christian or Muslim)

If I were you, I would find somewhere quiet where you feel at peace and ask God yourself. Sit or lie down, take some deep breaths to quieten your mind and visualise yourself at the base of a mountain. Find a path up the mountainside, and follow it, taking note of the rocks, plants, features, any animals etc. as you go. When you reach the peak there stands God - as you are a Muslim, you probably will not feel comfortable visualising him, so I would visualise Muhammad or an angel instead. Now you are there, ask him any questions you like, and ask him what the right path is in this situation. Then, just before you thank him and leave, imagine the angel giving you a gift. Take it, cherish it, and remember it.

May the God of Abraham whom we all share watch over you brother.

Elvendon
 
U

urwithmeoragainstme

New Member
angellous_evangellous said:
You're going to have to make up your own mind. There are plenty of girls available I'm sure that will gladly meet all of the requirements of your religion and your family.

But sometimes we meet a person and no one else will do.

It's simply up to you.
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but the problem is i probaly will have to marry a girl from the country i was born in, and i live in england.i dont like marrying a girl that i dont know or havent even spoken to before but i just have to it. and the other muslim girl i seen are not nicer than this girl i like, shes way better, im not just talking about looks .
 
Elvendon

Elvendon

Mystical Tea Dispenser
urwithmeoragainstme said:
but the problem is i probaly will have to marry a girl from the country i was born in, and i live in england.i dont like marrying a girl that i dont know or havent even spoken to before but i just have to it. and the other muslim girl i seen are not nicer than this girl i like, shes way better, im not just talking about looks .
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From what I have studied and seen of Islam, arranged marriages are more about culture than religion.

How conservative are your parents?
 
TashaN

TashaN

Veteran Member
Premium Member
I don't know really what's the problem !!!

A muslim man can marry a non-muslim girl if she was from the people of the book (i.e. a jew, christian).
 
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